For most couples with children, just getting through each week requires almost all of their time and energy. And it never seems to let up – just when they think things might be getting a bit easier, the next phase of parenthood rolls in and presents its requirements and demands. Add in job, home and community responsibilities, and most parents are completely tapped out by the end of each week.

If you’re in that position, you probably know how easy it is to lose track of the ‘couple’ part of your life. If you’re looking for ways to build a strong marriage in the midst of the chaos of daily life, these are suggested ways to stay connected with your spouse even when life gets crazy:

 

(1) Establish your marriage as the primary relationship in your family.

If you value your marriage and want to keep it strong, set a priority to establish it as the centre of your family life. You won’t be taking anything away from your children; instead, you’ll be adding to their sense of security and helping them understand what it takes to create a lasting marriage.

 

(2) Control your family’s schedule, rather than letting it control you.

Many couples don’t think carefully about the time and energy required to participate in sports, lessons, clubs, and volunteer work. As a result, those activities end up devouring most of the family’s resources. Yes, you and your children are going to be involved in activities, but you don’t have to be involved in every activity. So sit down with your spouse and decide what’s reasonable in terms of your family’s time, energy and resources.

 

(3) Make time to talk every day.

When things get busy, it’s easy to go for days without talking about anything other than pick-up times and errands. So be intentional about talking with your spouse for 15-20 minutes every day about what’s going on in both of your lives. Ideally, establish a set time to do this – in the morning, right after work, before bed, or whatever works for the two of you.


(4) Go to bed at the same time.

Go to bed at the same time every night if possible but at least several times a week. Going to bed together allows you to talk and unwind and paves the way for sex and intimacy.

 

(5) Make love regularly.

Yes, it takes some time and energy, both of which are in short supply. But it’s critical if you want to stay connected as a couple. And it doesn’t always have to take a lot of time – while a long romantic interlude is great, sometimes a quick romp provides all the connection you need!


 
(6) Do some everyday tasks or errands together.

Once children come along, couples often divide and conquer the tasks of everyday life. She gets stuff from the market and runs by the children’s school; he drops off the dry cleaning and picks up a refilled cylinder of gas. It’s efficient, but boring. So once in a while, do some of those tasks together. Ask a relative or friend to watch the kids for a couple of hours while you run some errands. Then do something fun on the way home, like stopping for a glass of wine.

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