How will you deal with it if I annoy, harass or even insult you this week, then make you happy, excited, feel vindicated or even educate you the next week and then annoy you again the week after and so on? Will you still love me, hate me, or dismiss me with the wave of the hand as a useless and an unserious fellow? Hmm, strange things are happening and shall always happen.

What is the correlation between a “Band Boy” who is coming from the background of suffering an unending professional prejudice and a columnist in a newspaper? A band boy and a columnist? Jehovah mm’udim! Are you serious? Well, it seems strange doesn’t it? Especially in uyo. It would be more acceptable if it was in Lagos, that land of twisted minds.

It is more easily acceptable for a lecturer to become a musician like Buchi did, or for Mish who is a trained engineer to become a musician or Aity Dennis and Aity Lawrence who reigned and still reigns behind the microphone respectively as broadcasters to become musicians.

Our people accept and expect such switches that when our former governor and the present minority leader in the Senate, Senator Godswill Akpabio, said that he will become an entertainer when he quits politics and I dare say he will be successful as he already has fans and can entertain, that assertion alone was music to the ears of those who heard him. They felt good and we’re willing to accept him into the industry with open arms like they were going to hug an elephant.

Yet, for a musician who has an ambition to do anything that has an intellectual coloration, it is an abomination with the magnitude of being thrown into the evil forest as its consequence. Why not just post your thoughts on Facebook or have endless tweets all day? After all, isn’t the social media welcoming to all comers? Will any newspaper condescend to the brain wave of a raffia-clad machete wielding, pidgin and vernacular singing voice-over artist and band boy?

Will any reasonable person waste his time on a band boy’s column, what is he capable of writing other than those “stupid ” songs of his? Does he even write those songs himself? Oops, someone accepted to publish it, hahaha… Maybe, a twisted minded person too, and you are reading it!

I scaled through those two hurdles, nope, three! The first huddle being to sit down to write before I got someone to publish and you to read. Has a strange thing not happened? Anything is possible mbok!

I guarantee to annoy some people every Tuesday on www.wetinhappen.com.ng. It even has a name that is so apt. I will write the way I feel about issues, my personal opinion, my perspective albeit objectively. I will bite and blow. I will quarrel and fight and hug and dance with the same people every Tuesday. I will be me, the iconoclastic singer who has stepped on toes in songs and jingles, me who has caused joy, laughter, who has created quotable quotes through songs.

Me that people love, then hate yet smile and respect when they see me. Me, who has treaded on serpents and scorpions, in my mind, to be heard and still live to write a column that you are reading. Me, the notoriously unserious clown whose thoughts, actions, words have been most misconstrued.

Me, whose real name suffers in obscurity and seems to be serving banishment to the pages of certificates and official documents only, why won’t the real name be overshadowed by the professional name when it is the professional name that makes the bank accounts that the real name is on to seem impressed, and it is the professional name that trained the real name to get the certification that the professional name gets the hype from. The professional name earned all these monies and spent it to train the real name by seeming stupid.

Me, whose close friends misunderstand my always-seeming-different and most times, unpopular positions on topical issues and have always consoled themselves by choosing to believe that I have a twisted mind.

This is unprecedented, so expect it to be unpredictable as I am, after all. Can anything good come out of a twisted mind? Will we know if we don’t tag along? If I have to shout to make it worth your while, I will climb the rooftop to shout.

If I have to kill a misinformation, I will give it an overdose of rat kill-and-dry poison, such that it will die and won’t even smell again.

If I want to be stupid, I will be top-notch stupid. I will not pretend to be all knowing though but I will twist the mind and squeeze objectivity from it.

Welcome to my world, my thoughts and my objective perspective. If it annoys you, please don’t take it to heart, if I am on your side, don’t take it to heart as I may not be there for long, but keep a date still every Tuesday on www.wetinhappen.com.ng and don’t get it twisted, for it comes from a twisted mind.

Udung, yak mbre’otongo!

Source: www.wetinhappen.com.ng