When last did you see a Father hug his grown up Son in Public?

Adebola (not real name) wrote on his facebook wall

“My father has never been the affectionate type. We never had the
father and son thing we always see on Hollywood.
His role with me started the night he got my mom pregnant and
ended each day when he came home from work and sat watching
TV.

I attend Lagos state university.
I came home few days back after the close of the second
semester.
While unpacking my box, my dad walked into my room and asked
for a hug.
I was confused but said okay.

He came over, hugged me, looked at me and grinned
Then he left the room.
Please is this a shape shifter cos,that Is surely not my dad”

Nowadays it is becoming kinda awkward seeing a father and son
share an embrace out in the open especially when the son comes
of a certain age.

Most sons today just like Adebola, would feel embarrassed if
their fathers were to approach them for a hug.
Whereas, hugging is becoming foreign to these folks, moms then
again are constantly prepared to embrace and kiss their kids at
any given point notwithstanding when its a bit too much.

Hugging brings an extraordinary sort of closeness and an
exceptional sort of bond which is shaped between mother and
child.

On the long run, a father who at the early stages didn’t share such
relationship with their son, becomes insecure when he detects a
developing closeness between mother and son thinking he is now
less loved.

Some fathers even accuse their wives of putting the child
against them especially ,when he begins to notice that the child
always takes the mothers side when there is a misunderstanding
in the home.

This issue (if i can call it that), is not peculiar to Nigeria or Africa
alone.

It is also becoming foreign to the foreigners as well.
In a BBC radio program in the year 2012, Ex deputy prime minister
of Britain John Prescott talked on how he was a bit detached as a
father to two of his sons, blaming his background and culture for
this" He said,

“I have two brilliant sons and I love them to death, but to my regret
I cannot somehow put my arms around them I don’t know
where it comes from but I very much regret that I never had that”
I feel that fathers ought to dependably make time to reflect in
order to understand the sort of parent they are.

A father may not know how to show openly his affection for his
son so ,it would be unreasonable to quantify his adoration for his
child with this.

However, all fathers ought to realize that those easily overlooked
details may turn out to be the most essential things

www.sincerenigerian.com/2015/11/nigerian-fathers-do-not-hug-their-sons.html?m=1

Fp
cc lalasticlala
cc seun

Ok

U want someone to raise ''gay alert''
and u know,nigerians no dy use ear hear gay b4 dem lynche am to coma/death

hmm im coming lemme read

EHMIR:
U want someone to raise ''gay alert''

and u know,nigerians no dy use ear hear gay b4 dem lynche am to coma/death

Gay alert for hugging your dad?

Som fadas do hug der sons tho mothers do more. It's not too common amongst men.

Try and visit the Airport more often sir, I mean the international airport. you might not see it much at the domestic

It's alien to our culture moreover African men lack emotions.they're very unemotional and so it's not normal for them to display emotions like mother's hugging their son or daughter

SAMBARRY:


It's alien to our culture moreover African men lack emotions.they're very unemotional and so it's not normal for them to display emotions like mother's hugging their son or daughter

Seriously

I only shake hands,thats how I like it

You can beat a child shout at him, belittle him, disgrace him in public yet you cannot show him any love or emotional hence we have so many aggressive, emotionally repressed men around who equate s-ex with love because they have not known emotions being expressed as a form of love


Parents also will fight make their kids referees abuse each other use the kids to hurt each yet they can not hug or kiss in the presence of the kids because they feel it will " spoil " them. What we do is teach the kids that marriage is only about fighting and no love and emotions hence they will also transfer same aggression to relationships.

We need to show our kids especially the boys more positive emotions fathers please so the mothers can stop turning them into mini husbands. Fathers teach your son to be an emotionally balanced man biko

Eketem:
You can beat a child shout at him, belittle him, disgrace him in public yet you cannot show him any love or emotional hence we have so many aggressive, emotionally repressed men around who equate s-ex with love because they have not known emotions being expressed as a form of love


Parents also will fight make their kids referees abuse each other use the kids to hurt each yet they can not hug or kiss in the presence of the kids because they feel it will " spoil " them. What we do is teach the kids that marriage is only about fighting and no love and emotions hence they will also transfer same aggression to relationships.

We need to show our kids especially the boys more positive emotions fathers please so the mothers can stop turning them into mini husbands. Fathers teach your son to be an emotionally balanced man biko

Spot on bruv.

Frankly, much of the attention are directed to the females and it ain't supposed to be so.

They fail to show the males love and positive emotions like you rightly mentioned and these males in turn grow to be kinda rigid and less emotional. Whose faults then? Not their faults if you ask me.

Women always complain about this (men not emotionally balanced). Why would they be when all the attention and emotions were directed at the ladies while the men wallow in wondering?

It's normal

Hugging my little girl seems so natural but when I think of hugging my (future) sons something goes "wierd" in my mind, like it shouldn't be done. Yes my father didn't hug me and yes I don't want to perpetuate a lack of emotional bond between father and son but something seems to fight back. I have been contemplating strategies to use to overcome this feeling, I just pray I am successful.

BTW Omoswags you already pointed out in the OP that this is hardly a Nigerian thing so why put it in the thread topic? Fathers all over the world are known to be less touchy feely with their sons.

It's a man thing abeg. Rather a warm handshake will do. Which real man wants to be hugged by another grown up man. When they are kids sure. But your grown up son? Awkward jare. Na women dey like that kind thing.

Most of them were raised to believe that showing emotions (except anger) is effeminate which in turn affects their relationship with their kids.

But I guess those things are gradually changing now.

cococandy:
Most of them were raised to believe that showing emotions (except anger, joy, admiration, surprise, sadness, grief, interest, anticipation, remorse, awe, love ) is effeminate which in turn affects their relationship with their kids.

But I guess those things are gradually changing now.

Fixed.

Some people need to travel out beyond the shores of this country

Human trait is now Nigerian?

5minsmadness:
It's a man thing abeg. Rather a warm handshake will do. Which real man wants to be hugged by another grown up man. When they are kids sure. But your grown up son? Awkward jare. Na women dey like that kind thing.

How about that guy hug of camaraderie? It is one of the strategies I plan to use along with good natured back slapping.

Sure giving my junior bro a hug wen i gt home. For pop? Notin. Mum? X n Os.

Yes, you are right. Over here, We don't display affections much.


But. one thing remains clear to us, they loves us with their all.


Nigerian parents will give their life for their children to live.

LordReed:


[b]How about that guy hug of camaraderie? [/b]It is one of the strategies I plan to use along with good natured back slapping.

Am sure u won't mind. But ur son might find it awkward. Then again who knows, things may change in the coming decades if the world doesn't end by then.

5minsmadness:

Am sure u won't mind. But ur son might find it awkward. Then again who knows, things may change in the coming decades if the world doesn't end by then.

Well that maybe because it is sometimes awkward when a stranger or someone you are not "feeling" gives you that type of hug. I am hoping they will "feel me" enough not to have it be awkward.

interesting

My dad? hug me? I will laugh hard

dmcdad:

Seriously

ehen kilode

missbronze:
Yes, you are right. Over here, We don't display affections much.


But. one thing remains clear to us, they loves us with their all.


Nigerian parents will give their life for their children to live.

Thats true anyway