As strong as I am, I'm really getting tired of this my 19 year old brother.

My parents complained about how he's bn frustrating there lives, I decided to take him in with me since I don't want my parents to have hypertension because of him. The first day he got to my house, he did nt sleep at home, I cald him, he said he went to a party( in an environment he's new in). He came back around 10am the next day. There was a day he evn told me to f**k off that he's got his own life to live the way he want it.

Yesterday, I came back to meet him with some guys I'v never seen before, in my house partying, I scolded him in front of his guys and I sent them away.

Now, I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my brother, my lenovo thinkpad laptop and the 10k in my wallet. I cald him and he said he knows nothing about my laptop and my money.

I'm really not bothered about my laptop or money now cos I believe God will provide another one. I'm fed up with him but he's my brother, I can't just give up on him like that and I don't want to send him back to my parents cos I dnt want them to die now.

Please, I really need nairalanders advice on how to live peacefully with him.

N B he's been beaten and disciplined so much that he's now used to that method of punishment

Use Nigeria police they are life changers...

there is no sanity in d word.

and have u heard of antisocial personality? it can't be changed but psychotherapy can do wonders but check it up sha

If nah me punches would ve gone a long way but hez sounds spiritual.

Rid these guyz in his life nd he would be back to normal...

No advice....
Shaa just beat him up( in my voice)

a

ok

I don't even know what to say

Take him to the Nigerian Army, Ikeja military cantonment, department of military police, aswear his stubbornness will be converted to obedience there, believe me, let him spend just one week, you won't believe it when he returns, my dad once tried ds for his younger bro, or in the alternative, take him to SARS division of the Nigerian Police, but I hope he's strong enough....well that's on a lighter note, but there's actually little u can do abt this guy, he is past that stage alrdy, I'm sure he mst hav been exhibiting these traits from childhood, he shld av bn corrected, cos as it stands now, its only experience that will teach him, that's not to say u shld giv up, today his sunday, write his name in a sheet of paper, wrap it with ur offering and drop it in d box.
E go Better

talktonase:
Use Nigeria police they are life changers...

I'v bn cald upon once to go bail him out when he was accused spending someone's money.

I had to go to the station and pay the money when my mum became so depressed. He spent like 3days dere before I suffaced.

That's like 2 yrs ago and he still hasn't changed.. He's gettin worse day after day

if na when i still dey in the world i would have recommend RAT poison...

but u can commit him in the hand of mopol
if God is too slow for your liking and c wonders

wasak:
Take him to the Nigerian Army, Ikeja military cantonment, department of military police, aswear his stubbornness will be converted to obedience there, believe me, let him spend just one week, you won't believe it when he returns, my dad once tried ds for his younger bro, or in the alternative, take him to SARS division of the Nigerian Police, but I hope he's strong enough....well that's on a lighter note, but there's actually little u can do abt this guy, he is past that stage alrdy, I'm sure he mst hav been exhibiting these traits from childhood, he shld av bn corrected, cos as it stands now, its only experience that will teach him, that's not to say u shld giv up, today his sunday, write his name in a sheet of paper, wrap it with ur offering and drop it in d box.
E go Better

Tanx very much for the advice. I really do hope he change soon.

My dad was a very strict man, he gave him a beaten one day and d beaten landed him in the hospital, he even spend close to two weeks dere. Still he hasn't change.

My mum sometimes do say, perhaps evil spirit enter into her when she was carrying his pregnancy

@ op, all your brother needs is time to pour out his heart to someone who will listen. He may no longer trust you or other family members to really listen to him. So getting someone whom he will open to is what you should do. I strongly feel that something is eating him up hence his deviant behaviour.

N.B

Beating and discipline, if not administered correctly, can have a negative efect on a child.

Sometimes mothers re usually the cause, when u go visiting different prayer houses for child/safe delivery etc, u will certainly stumble on those that work with the devil...

Ur brothers issue don pass the ordinary but I pray he does not send those aged parents to early grave before u guyz realize to free him..

I knew of a family with such kind of child they tried their best yet for where, they just decided to relocate one morning after he must ve left home so that they will lose contact with him.

......If I were you Get a counsellor for him, if you don't notice any imrpovement,, Carry am Go Area F, dump am for Cell for 1 week so he would see the other side of Life,,,you can bring him to my Guard Room in Minna, no Problem,I will gladly accept him.....His just a spoilt kid who believes everything should be in his own terms and if he isn't curtailed now,, am sorry to say, you will (breeding an armed robber or thief already. Happy Sunday

He has his own life to live as he has rightly told you.let him be for now,I believe he will come back to his senses before its too late.
Don't lose sleep because of that boy.keep him at bay for now

[quote author=uboma post=405066

N.B

Beating and discipline, if not administered correctly, can have a negative efect on a child.[/quote]

Yes, the beaten is having so much negative effect on him. I discovered that he's gettin worse after so much beating

queenoflafia:
He has his own life to live as he has rightly told you.let him be for now,I believe he will come back to his senses before its too late.
Don't lose sleep because of that boy.keep him at bay for now

I actually dnt bother mysf with his matter sometyms, buh I just have to think of my parents feelings( my mother expecially)

Jadonjack:


Tanx very much for the advice. I really do hope he change soon.

My dad was a very strict man, he gave him a beaten one day and d beaten landed him in the hospital, he even spend close to two weeks dere. Still he hasn't change.

My mum sometimes do say, perhaps evil spirit enter into her when she was carrying his pregnancy

Your father went overboard when trying to correct your younger brother.

And tell your mum to shove aside that belief. There's no issue of evil spirit.

Are you in Abuja? If yes, I can spare some hours on weekends free of charge to counsel your brother.

queenoflafia:
He has his own life to live as he has rightly told you.let him be for now,I believe he will come back to his senses before its too late.
Don't lose sleep because of that boy.keep him at bay for now

Wrong advise.

Keeping him at bay will only worsens his condition. That boy needs love and attention from his family.

uboma:



Your father went overboard when trying to correct your younger brother.

And tell your mum to shove aside that belief. There's no issue of evil spirit.

Are you in Abuja? If yes, I can spare some hours on weekends free of charge to counsel your brother.

Thank you bro. I really appreciate your concern but I'm in ibadan

He should leave ur house. He's a big boy, allow him just as I did my bro. He's gone back to our parents.They will not die. My mum contributed to his attitude, so she should enjoy the outcome.

OP. I learnt from your write up that your brother is 19years.
Yes, my advise is, there no iron that cannot be bent even if it quenches it will undergo some level of melting.
1. Just seat him down very early in the morning and tell him the implications of his attitude towards his family and new environment.
2. Bring his mind to a law that you want him to abide to which the landlord don't allow
3. If he refuses,truth is that you need to allow him enjoy his ruthless life with friends in your house for the main time.
4.Watch all their useless activities under pretence and document it in your head.
Now we don't know which state you and your brother' are.
5. Go to any SARC, Army, or any Special Anti-Crime station and make your problem be known. They will ask you what you want them to do for you and never have any single feelings for your brother by hiding his bad side. If you do, your brother whom am seeing as a cultist from your explanation will claim many lives before you and your family will know.

6. Set him up. Yes, I said you should set him up with his friends and call on the attention of SARC or any other force.. Make sure you are friendly to him to avoid him been suspicious.
7. When your attention is called by him to hel, pay a deaf ear. After the torture which I believe will take him up to 2years imprisonment, he will come back to his senses.

Young boy like him learn things in hard way and if you don't take him in hard way on time many lives may be lost.

Jadonjack:
As strong as I am, I'm really getting tired of this my 19 year old brother.

My parents complained about how he's bn frustrating there lives, I decided to take him in with me since I don't want my parents to have hypertension because of him. The first day he got to my house, he did nt sleep at home, I cald him, he said he went to a party( in an environment he's new in). He came back around 10am the next day. There was a day he evn told me to f**k off that he's got his own life to live the way he want it.

Yesterday, I came back to meet him with some guys I'v never seen before, in my house partying, I scolded him in front of his guys and I sent them away.

Now, I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my brother, my lenovo thinkpad laptop and the 10k in my wallet. I cald him and he said he knows nothing about my laptop and my money.

I'm really not bothered about my laptop or money now cos I believe God will provide another one. I'm fed up with him but he's my brother, I can't just give up on him like that and I don't want to send him back to my parents cos I dnt want them to die now.

Please, I really need nairalanders advice on how to live peacefully with him.

N B he's been beaten and disciplined so much that he's now used to that method of punishment

People like him only learn from their bitter experiences, try and talk to him, take him out to a good joint and buy him stuffs and explain to him wat he is doing to his life and hw dt will land him to poverty in future. Advice him on d way forward n hw u r willing to help him better his life. Wats does he do, is he in uni

I hope he does nt smoke weed or ve joined cult yet sha

Jadonjack:


Thank you bro. I really appreciate your concern but I'm in ibadan

You are welcome.

Please try to sit your brother down and have a heart to heart talk. Don't raise your voice on him at any point. Make him understand that his deviant behaviour is destroying the family and you really want to mend whatever is eating him up from within. Be a good listener. This may take repeated sessions with him because he may not be willing to open to you at first.

ify2016:
OP. I learnt from your write up that your brother is 19years.
Yes, my advise is, there no iron that cannot be bent even if it quenches it will undergo some level of melting.
1. Just seat him down very early in the morning and tell him the implications of his attitude towards his family and new environment.
2. Bring his mind to a law that you want him to abide to which the landlord don't allow
3. If he refuses,truth is that you need to allow him enjoy his ruthless life with friends in your house for the main time.
4.Watch all their useless activities under pretence and document it in your head.
Now we don't know which state you and your brother' are.
5. Go to any SARC, Army, or any Special Anti-Crime station and make your problem be known. They will ask you what you want them to do for you and never have any single feelings for your brother by hiding his bad side. If you do, your brother whom am seeing as a cultist from your explanation will claim many lives before you and your family will know.

6. Set him up. Yes, I said you should set him up with his friends and call on the attention of SARC or any other force.. Make sure you are friendly to him to avoid him been suspicious.
7. When your attention is called by him to hel, pay a deaf ear. After the torture which I believe will take him up to 2years imprisonment, he will come back to his senses.

Young boy like him learn things in hard way and if you don't take him in hard way on time many lives may be lost.

Get lost with your advise.

@ op, heed the above words at your own peril.

ogawisdom:


People like him only learn from their bitter experiences, try and talk to him, take him out to a good joint and buy him stuffs and explain to him wat he is doing to his life and hw dt will land him to poverty in future. Advice him on d way forward n hw u r willing to help him better his life. Wats does he do, is he in uni

I hope he does nt smoke weed or ve joined cult yet sha

he's not in any higher institution yet, he just completed his SSCE last year.

And as per the weed, I can't be so sure but with the way he behaves, I fear he's bn smoking

uboma:



You are welcome.

Please try to sit your brother down and have a heart to heart talk. Don't raise your voice on him at any point. Make him understand that his deviant behaviour is destroying the family and you really want to mend whatever is eating him up from within. Be a good listener. This may take repeated sessions with him because he may not be willing to open to you at first.

I ll try not get tired sitting him down. Tnx bro

My Bro, relax since he told u he can take care of himself he sold do Dat, stay on his own,

Jadonjack:


he's not in any higher institution yet, he just completed his SSCE last year.

And as per the weed, I can't be so sure but with the way he behaves, I fear he's bn smoking

Dig deeper BC if he is smoking weed n ve joined bad gang/cult then they will b into crime BC they will need cash for their useless life style

Just try to counsel and pray for him for one yr, involve as much help as u can using pastors n other men of God in case it's a curse/spiritual problem and if u dnt see visible changes then u ve tried for him, let him leave ur houz b4 he kills u.

Such a person will learn after spending like 2yrs in SARS cell awaiting trial for a crime BC dts where he is headed if he does nt change.

Ajonwa

By d way I hope u kw if he commits serious crime n he is traced to ur houz and unknown to u he hide gun/weeds/bullet in ur houz n d police sees it there and may b out of frustration he confesses u r one of them, my bros u r finished. Jst search ur houz on regular basis to avoid stories dt touch

Jadonjack:


I'v bn cald upon once to go bail him out when he was accused spending someone's money.

I had to go to the station and pay the money when my mum became so depressed. He spent like 3days dere before I suffaced.

That's like 2 yrs ago and he still hasn't changed.. He's gettin worse day after day

carry him to mountain of fire.

ogawisdom:


Dig deeper BC if he is smoking weed n ve joined bad gang/cult then they will b into crime BC they will need cash for their useless life style

Just try to counsel and pray for him for one yr, involve as much help as u can using pastors n other men of God in case it's a curse/spiritual problem and if u dnt see visible changes then u ve tried for him, let him leave ur houz b4 he kills u.

Such a person will learn after spending like 2yrs in SARS cell awaiting trial for a crime BC dts where he is headed if he does nt change.

Ajonwa

By d way I hope u kw if he commits serious crime n he is traced to ur houz and unknown to u he hide gun/weeds/bullet in ur houz n d police sees it there and may b out of frustration he confesses u r one of them, my bros u r finished. Jst search ur houz on regular basis to avoid stories dt touch

Thanks bro. You opened my eyes to another side of the issue. Mayb I shld evn strt the search now