Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.