The National Cake( One Act Play)

The action unfolds at Bisi's compound. Dawn approaches and the chill from the street creates a very warm atmosphere.

Bisi: (puffing a long cigarette)Chop make I chop na wetin da town be that. Who no go wan chop if spoon da him hand? And they talk se person we go follow devil chop,him spoon go long. This our country no be America or China where u go da fear to steal money from treasury. If you wan chop make you chop quick quick. Person wey wan claim holy holy go suffer pass forest wey rain and sun da beat. I don tire to da look. Me sef wan join the looters' club

Basseybursts into laughter)the looters' club? Na de correct name be dat. If u da find money we pass money na to join them,make you follow share the national cake.

Bisi: This national cake wey u da talk u know say no be everybody go get the same share. Some people go take lion share;some their own na tiger share and some they no go carry pass cat share.

Bassey: Anyhow him be share na share whether na lion get am abi na tiger abi na cat. Bt make I ask you teacher,na who da take lion share because na da won go big pass,and no who da chop tiger own and cat own?

BisiSmiling)You don make me remember when I da University. We get own lecturer we da always tell us say the Oyinbo people don share our national cake for us before dem go. You see d way our map da,u go see something we be like letter Y. E be like..(Pauses)

Bassey(drawing Y with the index finger)Like this? Or this?

Bisipicks up a stick and sketches on sand)U see wetin I day draw for here. No so the map be.

Bassey(quietly nods affirmation)na true. I remember.

Bisi: You see this part wey big well well na him be north wey get lion share. U con see this place wey no too big na West where we da now. Na them get tiger share. And finally u con see the part we no small na him be East where you come from na dem da collect cat share. Them even try give una cat share e for be ant share.

Bassey(raises questioning eyebrows) Sure-o ! Na wa o. This malam and them partners don finish us o!

Bisilaughing)Na today u know? See make I tell you very soon una go da collect ant share as una no vote for LPP wey win election.

Bassey: Ant share?

The End!

I have tried to test the sophistication of Pigdin English in communicating ideas through drama.

you try but you are agitating for biafra