Having expectations in a relationship is absolutely normal and there is nothing wrong with it. It’s always a great idea to have standards.

However, too many expectations, or unreasonable expectations cuts deep into the core of your relationship and can break up even the most promising couple. Your expectations go a long way in the way you see your partner and not only that, but how the partner feels too.

Inability to manage your expectations is one of the easiest ways to become disillusioned with an otherwise perfect partner, and it’s something for which you should always note.

I know some people are still wondering why having expectation for your relationship is wrong, why wanting the best for your relationship should be a problem?

I am not saying it is but however I am only saying that if your expectations are not probably guided, you might be slipping off a perfect relationship.

Let me take you down this lane where I carefully explain why you expectations may be doing your relationship a lot of harm than good.

Expectations are Inherently Unrealistic

A lot people expect a superman or a superwoman of their partners. However, It is important that you realize that the person you are with in a relationship is an actual human being and not a collection of statistics on a list or in your diary. When you have these expectations for a person, you’re looking for something/things that fulfills you and probably defines you – not a realistic picture of a person. When you focus too much on those expectations, you begin to lose sight of your partner and who they really are.

Your partner will find out

Expectations are a difficult thing to keep to yourself. No matter how hard you try, you’ll end up letting out, and once that happens, your partner will know. It doesn’t take a verbal statement about your wants for him or her to understand that he or she doesn’t measure up to your standards.

These expectations create resentment.

Expectations, once they are revealed, also create resentment. If your partner can’t fulfill those expectations, who is at fault? Is it you, or is it your partner? No matter what you decide, you’ll put yourself in an predatory relationship rather than one that is built on trust and respect. The moment your partner begins to feel that they do not measure up to your expectations, they at least would try to keep up and once they are unable to, that can breed resentment.

These expectations set up patterns for failure.



Once you engage in a mutual assessment of perceived inadequacies, the relationship begins to breed resentment. Once that pattern starts, it’s difficult to pull out – both partners think mostly of what the other lacks, and the process of building something strong is relatively hard to begin. Relationships built on unrealistic expectations tend to have poor foundations, and once the expectations are exposed for what they are, both parties become unhappy and the end seems to always be just around the corner.

Expectations ALWAYS change

Sadly, expectations are not constant, If your partner changes to meet your expectations, you will only be happy for a while and then those expectations will change. The whole cycle can begin anew, and no one can keep up with these changes.

After all that has been said, I will like to say that, It’s certainly not wrong to have standards, but make sure to manage your expectations with the reality that your partner is a living, breathing person with flaws, wants, and needs. If you are able to do that, you can build a foundation on mutual trust and realistic expectations. It may not always be romantic, but it certainly is healthy.


Enjoy your day!