Poem Title: Creation Versus Destruction


Poets: Liricyst and MuhdG


The Poet compares and contrasts bringing (a thing life/entity) and taking it out of existence. Their moral supremacy over one another is not the case here. You should also explain the balance the two brings. If one is allowed to go on without the other what then is our fate? Overall, give us a good poem.

Creativity - 2 points


Entertainment(Enjoyability) - 2 points



Rhymes - 2 points



Flow - 1 point



Consistency on Topic - 3 points



Vocabulary - 2 points (depending on topic) - 2 points



Emotion - 2 points



Imagery - 2 points


Your verses MUST be in line with the topic.


*The maximum number of lines for each verse should be 24Lines, No more, No less!!!

*Deadline is 6pm, 3rd December 2015

*Verses should be posted by both battlers on or not later than the deadline date.

*No biting, swaying, stretching, feeding or recycling.

*No complaining about votes.

*A no show attracts a ban.

*No unnecessary comments.

*No smearing comments about any bar OR biting accusations without proof.
*If there's anything you need to say in defence of your poem/verses please save them for after voting's over.

*No arguments with established vets OR voters.

*Battlers should not interject between votes and voters should just vote and leave it like that.

*Only vets and regular section posters are allowed to vote.

Present!


Abeg who get two biro

Poetic Scene!

Liricyst holla when u ready!

Reyginus
Should i just post mine?

MuhdG:
Reyginus Should i just post mine?

Give Liricist 8 pm. Please.

Reyginus:
Give Liricist 8 pm. Please.

Sure. No p

I will just go ahead n drop what i've done



This happened last night

“f**k you”
“sl*t, sk*nk”
“f**k you too, douchebag”
“you're useless, and childish, I am leaving you”

Its a nightmare
I wake up, brace up the morning sun, vaseline my only make up

Back from my home, this one feels plundered can't wait to retort

It's grounds covered with broken glasses, pages of ma torn passport

Still hear echoes of last night's vigorous exchange of bad words

Loosed bonds, no chemistry and good memories burnt

As soon as the night comes, and those memories burn

i sneak into a world of 3 legged horses and donkeys, where the forth

crippled By the beauty of this place that bears the fault

And white birds come out flying from its broken sky

I bounce in like i own the place and the fellas glorify

There I see my mate, butter on a fly, she sees me and comes around

We kiss, lick the butter on her lips which to others is out of bound

Clutch to her wings, and we fly to a river made of mucus

Where i drink till my belly is full, burnt my tongue coz it was too hot

“it was her proposal”

We in love, marry me, we could livee happily ever after

Our pee pee's don't match, that was my only answer

Plus, this banging noise in my head just wouldn't let me

Best i can do for us is that we could be besties

Ama come visit you, as long as the river still flows with mucus

Ignore other butter on flies, and kill 3 legged horses and donkeys that mock us

that didn't please her, even though i tried my best to tease her

Smacked me with her wings, saying now I know what I'm worth

Then am back in my bed, beneath my sheets covered with my thoughts

Where I keep on hearing echoes of last night's exchange of bad words

“f**k you”
“sl*t, sk*nk”
“f**k you too, douchebag”
“you're useless, and childish, I am leaving you”

I really like the creativity in your verse MuhdG, consistent with the topic which you stuck to and interpreted in your own way.

Imagery/rhymes/emotion satisfactory. I enjoyed it dear.

In saying that, be careful with the repetition of words and the past/present tenses in burnt/burn being so close together.

You said…
“Still hear echoes of last night's vigorous exchange of bad words

Loosed bonds, no chemistry and good memories burnt

As soon as the night comes, and those memories burn”

See with the first n 2nd line your speaking in past tense with “last night and burnt” then you repeat night in a present tense with burn and begin elaborating with your story.

It can be confusing to the reader having the same words being rotated in sequence above each other with the variable changes in “tenses”.

Also with the mucus river dear and drinking your fill, than saying to butter( the insect) you can't be with her coz of your peepee not the same, are you human in that world of fantasy? Just asking because you drank from a river of mucus, surely you could have been with butter.

I no even understand Wetin una dey talk

MuhdG wins via a no show. Lyricist well done o.

Limerick:
I no even understand Wetin una dey talk

Lolol. Read am well

Adanna28:

I really like the creativity in your verse MuhdG, consistent with the topic which you stuck to and interpreted in your own way.

Imagery/rhymes/emotion satisfactory. I enjoyed it dear.

In saying that, be careful with the repetition of words and the past/present tenses in burnt/burn being so close together.

You said…
“Still hear echoes of last night's vigorous exchange of bad words

Loosed bonds, no chemistry and good memories burnt

As soon as the night comes, and those memories burn”

See with the first n 2nd line your speaking in past tense with “last night and burnt” then you repeat night in a present tense with burn and begin elaborating with your story.

It can be confusing to the reader having the same words being rotated in sequence above each other with the variable changes in “tenses”.

Also with the mucus river dear and drinking your fill, than saying to butter( the insect) you can't be with her coz of your peepee not the same, are you human in that world of fantasy? Just asking because you drank from a river of mucus, surely you could have been with butter.

Okay thanks for taking ur time to break it down

...well this is my first time doing poetry so, i guess it's a sure thing that I have a long way to go.

And after seeing u break the my written down, i see clearly whhat ure trying to say

Especially that mucus drinking and peepees don't match part. I see how I contradicted my self. Lol. Even I can't really say.

Heheh. But thanks.

I've learnt

Kr0ne I'm waiting for u to say something o

Cc elymaxiimus
Llaykorn
Emaprince
Guykhena
Ibime

Etc etc

What do y'all have to say... words of advice

MuhdG:

Okay thanks for taking ur time to break it down

...well this is my first time doing poetry so, i guess it's a sure thing that I have a long way to go.

And after seeing u break the my written down, i see clearly whhat ure trying to say

Especially that mucus drinking and peepees don't match part. I see how I contradicted my self. Lol. Even I can't really say.

Heheh. But thanks.

I've learnt

I'm proud you still posted, even though your partner did a no show. Double respect for that

MuhdG:
Kr0ne I'm waiting for u to say something o



What do y'all have to say... words of advice

Nice job, bro. I'm more thrilled with the metaphor and imagery laced in your verse and your consistency on topic. You just have to be careful with the way you repeat end rhymes, though, unless you're attempting a wordplay. I noticed you played Mucus/ mock us but they definitely don't have the same consonant. Mucus is pronounced ''myookəs'', not mock us. Aside that, I enjoyed the delivery. And I feel you can take this tourney if you maintain this tempo.

kr0ne:

Nice job, bro. I'm more thrilled with the metaphor and imagery laced in your verse and your consistency on topic. You just have to be careful with the way you repeat end rhymes, though, unless you're attempting a wordplay. I noticed you played Mucus/ mock us but they definitely don't have the same consonant. Mucus is pronounced ''myookəs'', not mock us. Aside that, I enjoyed the delivery. And I feel you can take this tourney if you maintain this tempo.

Heh. Thank you! I appreciate.

Congrats bro Sorry for the no-show i had only a half verse done added to my disconnected mtn line.
First time i pulled a no-show tho. Nice verse btw.

This looks more like poetry than rap. . . . not quite my thing. . .

Lol

Ibime:
This looks more like poetry than rap. . . . not quite my thing. . .

liricyst:
Congrats bro
Sorry for the no-show
i had only a half verse done
added to my disconnected mtn line.

First time i pulled a no-show tho.
Nice verse btw.

Ahh no p

Thanks man