Starting a relationship is always fun and
exciting, but making a relationship last is hard
work. Once you’ve gotten settled in your
relationship, you have to maintain an honest
flow of communication and to continue to
cherish your time with your loved one. Making a relationship last isn’t always fun, but the
benefits of maintaining a long-term and
committed relationship far outweigh the
difficulties that you may face. If you want to
know how to make your relationship last, just
follow these tips.

Part One of Four:
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Making Time for Each Other
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1. Make time for romance: Though “date night” may sound forced, you and your
special someone should aim to have a date
night at least once a week, if not more often.
You don’t have to call it “date night” if that
sounds too cheesy, but you should make a
goal to spend some quality time together without anyone else around at least one night
a week.

- You can do this same thing during date
night, such as cooking dinner together
and then going to the movies, or spice it
up and do something new every time.
- If
you’re staying in, maintain a romantic atmosphere by lighting some candles and
playing some soft music. Whatever you do,
make sure you have
time to really talk during your special time
together. You won’t be able to talk much if
you’re just going to a loud concert together.
- Learn to say no to others during “date
night.”
- Your girlfriends may be begging
you to come out to the bars, but if you’ve
scheduled a date night, tell them you can’t make it and make plans for next week.
- Things will break down if “date night” is the
thing you’re always willing to give up. You
should always look nice, tell each
other how much you love each other, and
compliment each other throughout the night.

2. Make love at least once a week: You don’t have to plug this into your calendar, and
hopefully you won’t have to, but you should
make a conscious effort to make love at
least one a week, no matter how tired you
feel after work, or how much you have going
on that week.
- Making love is a way to maintain your
intimacy and to grow closer to your
partner.
- You should also spend some time just
cuddling and kissing each other, so you
don’t feel like you’re just checking “sex”
off of your to-do list.

3 Make time to talk: Though your schedules may get crazy, you need to make a
concerted effort to talk to each other every
day, no matter how much work you have to
do.
- You can set aside time to talk during
dinner, or to talk over the phone if your loved
one is away.
- Make a habit of knowing what your loved
one’s day was like. Though you don’t
have to bore each other with every little
detail of your lives, you should become
comfortable with each other’s routines.
- If you’re spending a week apart, set aside
at least fifteen minutes a day to catch up
and to remind your loved one how much
you love and miss him.
- When you do talk, there should be no
distractions. You’re not really talking if
you’re also watching the game or
checking your phones.

Part Two of Four:

Maintaining Strong Communication
1. Be honest with each other: Honesty is the key to any long-lasting relationship.
- To
keep your relationship strong, you should be
able to be open and honest with your special
someone.
- You should be able to share your
most intimate thoughts and feelings with your
loved one, or you’re not really communicating.

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- Don’t be afraid to tell your loved one if he
disappointed you.
- Being honest about
your feelings will help you work through
the problem, and is far better than being
passive aggressive if you’re upset about something.
- Share your feelings with your loved one.
If you’re really upset about something that
happened at work or something your
mother said, then don’t keep it all inside.
- Know when not to say something. - Though
honesty is almost always the best policy, you
don’t have to share every little feeling
with your loved one. For example, if you
don’t like his new shirt or think one of his
new friends is kind of annoying, you may want to keep it to yourself. Time your honesty.
If you want to open
up about something important, make sure
you do it when your loved one has time to
talk and is relatively unstressed. Your
news will be better received if he has time to listen.

2. Learn to compromise: In any strong relationship, being happy should be more
important than being right.
- If you want your
relationship to last, then you should learn
how to make decisions with your loved one,
and to find a way for both of you to be happy
with the decisions, or to take turns giving in to each other. Here’s how to do it: When you’re making a decision, have
your loved one rate how important it is to
him on a scale of 1 to 10, and then state
how important it is to you. Then talk'bout
why it’s so important to both of you, and
what you can do to make it matter less.
-Be thoughtful. When the two of you are
making a decision, take the time to
discuss the pros and cons and what you
can do to meet halfway. Take turns giving in on small decisions. If
you picked the restaurant for date night,
let your girl pick the movie. Make sure both people are compromising.
It’s not a compromise if your girl is always
giving in to what you want in the end
because you’re more persistent.

3. Learn to say you’re sorry: This is an important point. If you want to be in a long- lasting relationship, then you absolutely have to learn how to say you’re sorry from time to time. - When it comes to a relationship, admitting you’re sorry is much more important than being stubborn. - Learn to apologize if you’ve done something wrong. It may take you some time to realize that you made a mistake, but once you do, say that you’re sorry for what you’ve done. - Make sure you mean it. Be sincere and make eye contact. It won’t mean anything if you’re just saying you’re sorry because you have to. - Learn to accept your loved one’s apology. If he truly means it, then you should stop sticking to your guns, accept the apology, and move on.

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4. Tell your loved one how much he
means to you: Don’t ever forget to say “I love you” and take your feelings for granted.

- You should tell your loved one that you love
him every single day—multiple times a day, if
you can.
- Remember that there’s a difference
between “love you” and “I love you” — you
should really mean it when you say it.
- Always compliment your loved one. Tell
her how great she looks in her new dress
or how much you love her smile.
- Always thank your loved one. Don’t take
his/her favors and kind actions for
granted.
- Always tell your loved one how special
he/she is. Don’t ever forget to make him
feel unique.

Part Three of Four:
Keeping Moving Forward

1. Find new interests to pursue together: A relationship is like a shark — if it doesn’t
move forward, it dies.
- You should find ways
of keeping your relationship fresh so your
love doesn’t become just a part of your
routine. One way of doing this is to find new
interests that you can pursue together, so you have something to be excited about as
well as a shared passion.

- Take a weekly dance class together. This
will give you some great exercise and will
increase your passion for each other.
- Find a new hobby together.
- Try taking a
painting or ceramics class, or find a new love for sailing.
- Take a class together.
- Try learning a new
language or taking a history class
together.
- Train for a race together. This is a great way to get closer, whether you’re training
for a 5K or a marathon.
- Do anything out of your comfort zones.
- Try hiking, mountain biking, or even ice
skating.
- Doing something completely unfamiliar will bring you closer together.

2. Keep it fresh in the bedroom: If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, then
you have to maintain a healthy sex life.
Though your lovemaking may not be what it
was in the beginning after five years
together, you should still try new things in the
bedroom so you’re still excited about making love with your partner and that everything
you do still feels like an adventure.
- Make love in new positions. Don’t do the
same old thing you’ve been doing, even if
it works. You can even look up new
positions together, which will be great for
pre-intimacy.
- Make love in new places. Don’t always go
for the bedroom—try the couch, the
kitchen table, or even check in to a hotel
in the middle of the day.
- Try going to a sex store to pick up some
kinky items to bring into bed.

3. Take trip to a new place together: Though a vacation isn’t a good long-term
solution to any relationship problems, taking
a trip together can help take you out of your
same old perspective and appreciate your
love in a new way. Plus, planning a trip
together will give you something new to look forward to. Plan the trip you’ve always wanted to
take. If you’ve both been talking about
going to Paris together for the last seven
years and you have the funds for it, it’s
time to make your dreams a reality.
- Take a short day trip. Even driving an
hour out to spend a day in the woods or
the beach can make your relationship feel
fresher.
- Take a second honeymoon. If you’re
already married and had a honeymoon,
take another honeymoon to
commemorate your love.

Part Four of Four:

#

Making Tolerance Second Nature


1. Understand contextual behavior: Chances are that along with chemistry, you
met your partner at a time that was
conducive to your union. You may have
been young with a strong sex drive, on a
holiday, or shared a strong emotional
experience together. This is an example of a positive contextual influence that improved
your relationship.

2. Accept contextual behavior: Accept the fact that negative contextual influences are
unavoidable. When a person goes through a
stressful period, a period of ill health,
professional failure, or has other sources of
anxiety then he or she could act in a way that
is not consistent with the behavior of the person you know and love.
3. Identify contextual behavior: If your partner is unsympathetic with you in a testing
time, such as just following labor, being fired
at work, or after a death in the family, then
consider that it maybe not be him or her, but
the situation that produces those words.
Treat contextual influences like the weather. There is nothing you can do about them,
other than to tolerate them.

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2. Accept contextual behavior: Accept the fact that negative contextual influences are
unavoidable. When a person goes through a
stressful period, a period of ill health,
professional failure, or has other sources of
anxiety then he or she could act in a way that
is not consistent with the behavior of the person you know and love.
3. Identify contextual behavior: If your partner is unsympathetic with you in a testing
time, such as just following labor, being fired
at work, or after a death in the family, then
consider that it maybe not be him or her, but
the situation that produces those words.
Treat contextual influences like the weather. There is nothing you can do about them,
other than to tolerate them.

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