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The Nativity (nigerian Version) by adelaface(m): 2:23pm On Dec 25, 2015 |
Adamu the shepherd and Usman his brother were keeping vigil that night. Three sheep had gone missing two days earlier and another four the previous day; they've had enough of the cattle rustlers. 'Usman!' Adamu called out over the half empty bottle of locally brewed gin he had been sipping to keep himself alert. Usman responded with a loud yawn and a weak nod, he was very tired. 'If I see am pur anything wey I move, shoot am.' Adamu blurted. Usman perfectly understood what that meant; it was a shoot-at-sight order. He jerked back to full consciousness and picked up his bow (this time more determined), he counted the arrows in the quiver for the umpteenth time: seven, same as the last time. An orchestra suddenly started. The cows mooed and the sheep bleeted all accompanied by the quick taps of hoofs and the locking of horns. "Walahi I don come!" Usman shouted "Na flenty flenty feofle I carry come" Adamu added Adamu who is also a Civilian JTF repeated his age long life code 'mutu kare' meaning die defending). "Harba a wurin!" he screamed at Usman. It was the shoot-at-sight order. Usman swiftly fixed one of the arrows from the quiver to the bow, "Harba a wurin!" He repeated to himself. Adamu already had his dagger drawn and they both moved towards the cattle in James Bond style. Suddenly, they saw two great lights. The lights were so bright that Adamu dropped his dagger and shielded his face with his hands. Usman was already on the floor; he wasn't sure how he got there, what happened to his arrow, what would happen next, he wasn't sure of anything. He thought of their sister Zainab, his Yoruba girlfriend Salewa and his eastern customer Chukwudi. "Ina fatan za ku kasance m" Usman uttered (Meaning 'I hope it won't be painful') as he thought of the cold hands of death. The lights turned out to be angels, and they delivered their message in Warri standard pigin English. "Bros, make una no shake. Na jolly jolly news I carry come give una. No be for only una but every every wey de obodo Naija and obodo oyinbo join. The people wey waka for darkness don see light, people wey join body dey suffer don escape. Make una standa gidigba see the better wey God carry come give una." "E get one pikin wey dem just born now now; that pikin na the bonaza wey God carry dash all the bobo and baby wey dey this zone. This pikin go become king, he go siddon control every every and im government go tontorin our belle as e no go do magomago, anything wey e talk and do na confirmento! That pikin wey una see so, he be God." The angels disappeared. Adamu and Usman got up; they had totally forgotten about the cattle rustlers, they set out to look for this boy and they found him in the manger wrapped in swaddling clothes in the hands of his virgin mother. So these shepherds started the Yokoto dance. A biblical allusion.
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