avicky:

They will just comment as if they have carried out a survey.
Do you know how many women are longing for their exes to be part of their kids' life?

And no matter what happens, children will always look for the abandoned parent. That's the annoying part for me.

Lolllllll, no vex again.
Surname or who be ur papa to get power

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

All that you mentioned boiis down to sending money , most divorced women just want the bills sorted out but no access to the child.

saphiere:
Men are irresponsible by nature

And 95% of women keep going to shiloh, holy ghost congress, prayer mountain with a picture of the same men u call irresponsible and pray for marriage.

Moana:
married or unmarried how does that cancel paternity? Even is they are extra-marital children, it has never for a second excluded a father from taking care of his child. There are 3cases where they were married and the fathers still did not live up to their responsibilities. Your relationship with your babymama or lack thereof should never for a second affect your responsibilities towards your child or children.

Sometimes I feel like strangling women who sleeps with a married man knowingly and get pregnant because it shows how selfish she is.Affair children go through alot.She is a lowlife and most times it is the children who suffer the sins of their mothers.He will definitely not give a Bleep about the child.You people won't blame women who go around having kids with men who are already taken.

Affair children are like the constant reminder of mistakes or taboo one made.You think the wife of the man will be happy.In this scenario I understand why the men don't give a Bleep.

If it is children from divorce I understand.

The action often determines the reactions

If you know what a jilted female can do

You will understand,

They mobilized every things as a weapons

To get at the offending objects.

jimmychang:



I hate this kind of people when they are trying to make an argument.Why are you insulting him and saying he will die alone lol.HE WILL NOT BE IRRESPONSIBLE LIKE YOUR OWN FATHER.

You point out a particular man who died alone,funny how there are also scenarios of men who had multiple children from different wives but still died with with love around them lol.

Stop projecting.Yes men will vet who want to get married to so as to avoid getting divorced later.I like how you blame everything on men.It shows how emotional you are about this topic and It isn't right for someone like you to make an argument for women because you will end up shooting scoring an own goal.

I did not insult him. The "you" was referring to men in general. Sorry if he assumes I was referring to him. My apologies.

Definitely it can't be all men fault-since some women pocket money the man sends and hide it from their kids,neither can it all be women fault. You all claim that all child neglect results from the women fault . Either she manipulates her kids or she is bad . When will it ever be a man fault?

If the kids were born out of wedlock,it is her fault for opening her legs anyhow .
If both parents were legally married,it is still her fault,she manipulated the kids . So when will it ever be a man fault?

At the bolded, jimmychang learn to read before commenting. My argument was not about having multiple kids, it was about not catering for them. If not why could just one of them remember him or pay him a visit? Did all their mothers(or baby mamas ) lie?

Tuface and Davido with numerous kids or even the average Joe with numerous kids that remembers them or even call on their birthdays or once a while bring toys for them is better than a man with just one wife and kids from the same woman that forget his kids after divorce.

deeptesting:
It is no longer news to hear about couples going their separate ways today,immediately after separation or divorce most father`s cut off all ties with their ex including the children, it really beats my imagination why most men also divorce their children.

Most men quickly move into another relationship abandoning the children for the woman, they don`t call, visit or even write letters to the children. We have witnessed few cases here on Nairaland where the children now grown ups put up pictures of their fathers taken 30yrs ago in search of the man who gave birth to them..

Real men don't divorce their kids too.

no, the women always plays the victim card by using the children against the man, if the man wants the children the woman will not let go.

CuriousStudent:

Are you sure you are educated? You claimed it was women vileness that caused men to stay away,right?
My post was based on if the woman proves to be dangerous or vile,and in this case your only contribution should be prayers and upkeep. Why go close to a dangerous woman?

There is no excuse for abandoning your kids after divorce. Women cater and raise the kids of the most terrible men out there , of men who abused them,of men who failed them, of men who broke them.
We stay in the worst of marriages for our kids sake but you will take the first run "for peace of mind sake"

How about struggle for custody of your child if she is that bad? The kids most likely bear your surname,the law favors your kind. So what's the excuse?

Keep giving excuses. Excuses you will never take from women when vetting them. It will never change the fact most of you are irresponsible. That is why you die lonely without love. Look at rashidi yekeni,one of our greatest footballer. His last days were sad. He was defecating in public.talking to himself. He died in a lonely mansion despite his many kids from different women. Or did all the women manipulated the kids?

Before children will avenge the death of the father's even if it means them losing their lives in the process. But now to put your picture on father's day is a problem . Or is it that all women are manipulating their kids?
How can in a family of 5 kids a woman manipulates all of them, so 1 of them could not attest of your goodness or paternal love? Just one?

You think it is normal for a grown child to come denounce his father or change his surname in adulthood? Oh,your defence is the same "the mother manipulated him". No introspection. It is never the man fault. Everything she tells the kids are lies. Even when they witness him beating her or are aware of his side chicks

When you are ready you ,you will tell your gender to act better

modified
For those of you divorced men waiting for your children to come look for you as is the usual practice. Better zero your mind on them. Kids are wiser now. You can't decieve them with the altar call or show up when you aging. Except you are very rich( most kids like to identify with wealthy them as their fathers ) no one wants an aging man who usually comes with health issues. They may reconcile or want to know their routes but don't expect devotion or care or introducing you to your grandkids or inviting you over for holidays or building house for you or video calls or nursing you or sending you money or renovating your leaking roof

Tell us your story, so that we can better understand your plight. All these gibberish no get any meaning.

Since 2015 topic Mods haba now

Following your comment I have no better contribution to the topic except just 2 simple lines.

1. The men may not be doing well financially"

2. The men may have been taken away by another woman (possibly more ferocious) whose hands his heart now belong"

Meanwhile, l appreciate your use of English.

ronald4lif:
Some divorcee women are vile, ferocious and seek to torment the life of their ex partner employing their kids as a snare to exploit the men. When men notice this they retract from their responsibility which ultimately result to less parental access to their kids by their mothers.

I'm not holding brief for anyone but a sizeable number of divorcee women are heartless and usually bitter even in some cases where the separation was perceived to be consensual between both couple.

There's absolutely no divorcee male I know whose ex wife doesn't devise means to callously deal with them using their kids. There seem to be this notion that they were rejected, used and dumped which fuels resentment and bitterness.

In the UK, they'd use bogus child support claims to render your life useless till you start drifting from your fatherly responsibility. Don't ever believe the men just decided to abandon their responsibility until you have a full grasp of what is truly happening.

This happen mostly as a result of women don't wants the father to be there physically but only financially.

Imagine.

Such man have no options than to find new love and children to call his and forget those ones.

And sometimes, after divorce, no man wishes to visit where his children stay because the woman may be disrespectful to his visit

agabaI23:
No it is because most times, the women don't want them to be part of the children's lives but they will want them to be financilly involved fully. I doubt there is a father that will abandon his children because he is divorced.

I concur to this .

Old posts but seems like we aren't ready for this discussion.
In the west and most places in the world, the marital laws favor only women. Divorce is incentivize by granting the woman about half the man's wealth and also granting her child custody and support. I read somewhere that in some European countries, the man needs the permission of the mother to conduct DNA test but child support is forced on the man. And even in cases where the women are responsible for the break ups (e.g. cheating, domestic violence, etc.) or have addictive lifestyles (e.g drug abuse, partying, prostitution, etc.) that can impact negatively on the kids, 90% of the time they still will get child custody and support.
I think the people who matter and can really make things happens are all about their self ambitions. Women are estimated to be about 55% of the world population and these leaders know that by moving for a change--one that allows for shared custody (male child goes to daddy and female child to mommy) and reciprocal responsibilities (where the father pays the mother for the child with her and the mother does likewise to the dad)--their business interests, political ambitions, etc. will come under immense pressure. As such, the status quo remains.

I got separated from my wife when d kids were in their early age but l never left her without taking responsibilities of my 2 kids.

They are through with their university education. Over d yrs she has brain wash d children. Bcus they grew up with her,they listen to their mother. Is like, l don't have children.

Life continue

because a divorced woman is angry and vile. Some of them try to turn the back of the kids against their daddy by saying all sort of bad things about him, no matter how hard the man try to be a responsible father, the kids would not appreciate it. Men know this and that is why they dnt indulge themselves. Not all dads tho.

True Talk But Good Dad does His Responsibility without that

CuriousStudent:

Are you sure you are educated? You claimed it was women vileness that caused men to stay away,right?
My post was based on if the woman proves to be dangerous or vile,and in this case your only contribution should be prayers and upkeep. Why go close to a dangerous woman?

There is no excuse for abandoning your kids after divorce. Women cater and raise the kids of the most terrible men out there , of men who abused them,of men who failed them, of men who broke them.
We stay in the worst of marriages for our kids sake but you will take the first run "for peace of mind sake"

How about struggle for custody of your child if she is that bad? The kids most likely bear your surname,the law favors your kind. So what's the excuse?

Keep giving excuses. Excuses you will never take from women when vetting them. It will never change the fact most of you are irresponsible. That is why you die lonely without love. Look at rashidi yekeni,one of our greatest footballer. His last days were sad. He was defecating in public.talking to himself. He died in a lonely mansion despite his many kids from different women. Or did all the women manipulated the kids?

Before children will avenge the death of the father's even if it means them losing their lives in the process. But now to put your picture on father's day is a problem . Or is it that all women are manipulating their kids?
How can in a family of 5 kids a woman manipulates all of them, so 1 of them could not attest of your goodness or paternal love? Just one?

You think it is normal for a grown child to come denounce his father or change his surname in adulthood? Oh,your defence is the same "the mother manipulated him". No introspection. It is never the man fault. Everything she tells the kids are lies. Even when they witness him beating her or are aware of his side chicks

When you are ready you ,you will tell your gender to act better

modified
For those of you divorced men waiting for your children to come look for you as is the usual practice. Better zero your mind on them. Kids are wiser now. You can't decieve them with the altar call or show up when you aging. Except you are very rich( most kids like to identify with wealthy them as their fathers ) no one wants an aging man who usually comes with health issues. They may reconcile or want to know their routes but don't expect devotion or care or introducing you to your grandkids or inviting you over for holidays or building house for you or video calls or nursing you or sending you money or renovating your leaking roof

Educated woman!
I can feel your bitterness from afar.
And I will always and always stay away from your kind.
You fight for what you can handle. Why struggle for custody when you have no means.

Children are wiser indeed.. They become adults right? They can now think for themselves and begin to look through your hatred-filled advice and vomit all the poison you gave them while growing up.

Madam stop wishing.

The same instruction goes to you. Keep away from irresponsible men.
Do not use your kids as a means of getting back to your ex.
Learn to move on. Be at peace with yourself.

Mind you, I will never encourage even my sister to stay in an abusive marriage because of the kids. You are not doing the kids any favours. Tell yourself the truth, in your deepest 💓 you know why you are sticking around.

In sane countries, there is what we call prenup.
And if the women are sincere, why are they not the ones insisting on prenup?

Ahaa, unless the woman has some change. If not, she will start the emotional blackmail.

Please pursue peace of mind.

avicky:

That's not true. I have seen a father who abandoned his son after separation. The wife wants him to be involved in the son's life but he wouldn't budge. School fees, feeding, health has been the responsibility of the struggling mother.
Look, so many irresponsible fathers out there. Two sane adults should not bring their kids into the fracas between them.
So I don't buy your assertion.

Likewise so many irresponsible mothers as well

saphiere:
Men are irresponsible by nature

Including your male families

Epicji:
I got separated from my wife when d kids were in their early age but l never left her without taking responsibilities of my 2 kids.

They are through with their university education. Over d yrs she has brain wash d children. Bcus they grew up with her,they listen to their mother. Is like, l don't have children.

Life continue

See now, hope you married another woman and had children by her. Cos they can never be truly yours. Their mind has been conditioned against you.

NOwazobia:
Baby Mamas, are different from married divorcees.

So, baby mamas should be out of the equation because most times it is as a result of prostitution.

Children care should be treated same

gentle007:


Educated woman!
I can feel your bitterness from afar.
And I will always and always stay away from your kind.
You fight for what you can handle. Why struggle for custody when you have no means.

Children are wiser indeed.. They become adults right? They can now think for themselves and begin to look through your hatred-filled advice and vomit all the poison you gave them while growing up.

Madam stop wishing.

The same instruction goes to you. Keep away from irresponsible men.
Do not use your kids as a means of getting back to your ex.
Learn to move on. Be at peace with yourself.

Mind you, I will never encourage even my sister to stay in an abusive marriage because of the kids. You are not doing the kids any favours. Tell yourself the truth, in your deepest 💓 you know why you are sticking around.

In same countries, there is what we call prenup.
And if the women are sincere, why are they not the ones insisting on prenup?

Ahaa, unless the woman has some change. If not, she will start the emotional blackmail.

Please pursue peace of mind.

The wise take advantage of every exhortation. The fools personalize it.

By the way I don't wish men ill,it is men that wish women ill. I didn't wish I'll on the poster,I only explained a real life situation that happens Everytime and gave advice to men on how to avoid it.
How is it wishing men ill?
The only person with malice in their heart here is you, because you are projecting . Counter my argument or move,you know nothing about my life or personal life.

I will continue to call out men bullshit when necessary, the wise will learn from it or ignore.

By the way I don't advice children against father's. It is men in the business of poisoning others mind with "don't marry this or marry that or she did this". Children are wiser and think for themselves as you said. No manipulation needs to occur to know who was there for and who wasn't it.

I won't advice anybody to be with a wretch like you,poor in mind,and poor in pocket. I can swear you earn less than $1000.


And you are very stupid, just in case you don't know

Moana:
i have 3 cousins with children whose fathers refused to take care of and they even use their mother's surnames and over 7 people i stayed in hostel with that were single mothers with no support from their fathers are you satisfied with double the number?

Nigerian women are worshipped and how many of these worshipped women are being used for rituals and human trafficking. The number of rape and physical abuse cases on NL alone are alarming. Child marriage is a sign of women being worshipped abi? Okay continue

Don’t mingle affairs going on in the backwards north for ongoings in the civilized part of the country

They've not been responsible from the beginning

CuriousStudent:

The wise take advantage of every exhortation. The fools personalize it.

By the way I don't wish men ill,it is men that wish women ill. I didn't wish I'll on the poster,I only explained a real life situation that happens Everytime and gave advice to men on how to avoid it.
How is it wishing men ill?
The only person with malice in their heart here is you, because you are projecting . Counter my argument or move,you know nothing about my life or personal life.

I will continue to call out men bullshit when necessary, the wise will learn from it or ignore.

By the way I don't advice children against father's. It is men in the business of poisoning others mind with "don't marry this or marry that or she did this". Children are wiser and think for themselves as you said. No manipulation needs to occur to know who was there for and who wasn't it.

I won't advice anybody to be with a wretch like you,poor in mind,and poor in pocket. I can swear you earn less than $1000.


And you are very stupid, just in case you don't know

Abeg I no be your papa. No be me do you o. Seek peace abeg. Pepper body no go help you. That your pipe dream will not come to pass unless you seek and find ☮️ wise, educated and we'll to do woman.

Shantyken:


And 95% of women keep going to shiloh, holy ghost congress, prayer mountain with a picture of the same men u call irresponsible and pray for marriage.

Them don carry my name go shilo tire, and then still know say I de irresponsible. Abeg no be mental craze be that

vickydevoka:

Them don carry my name go shilo tire, and then still know say I de irresponsible. Abeg no be mental craze be that

No mind them

gentle007:

Abeg I no be your papa. No be me so you. Seek peace abeg. Pepper body no go help you. That your pipe dream will not come to pass unless you seek and find ☮️ wise, educated and we'll to do woman.

I knew it was a failure of a man I was chatting with and the chance of amounting to anything in this life is low for you

Better focus on your Keke napep driving (eya fuel price will affect your hustle) or the petty trades you do.

This is my last conversation with you,I don't talk to hustling guys

It is always assumed that a man takes care of his kids because he fathered them. That is part of it, in fact, but hardly all of it.

A man enjoys a deep emotional satisfaction from his association with his children. Their presence in his life gives it that little more.shine that makes life bearable.

Often, during and after divorce, this emotional satisfaction is withdrawn because the women make it difficult or even impossible for the man to connect with his children often. She hoards them or tries to control his interaction with them. (Meanwhile within mutual social circles, she may be reviling him for abandoning them)
It doesn't end there, many women frequently work to poison the mind of the children against their father. They would say nasty things that these kids tell their teachers and friends about, who in turn, call their fathers to inform them.

The courts also often make the error of giving the man visiting rights only. Preferably it should mandatorily be the children spending time with their father on all school vacations.
In my opinion that should be ideal.

Anyway, given this withdrawal of emotional staisfaction, in addition with an attempt to withdraw from the emotional devastation of having children whose minds are being actively poisoned against him, the man withdraws totally from the family and starts working towards starting another one.

It is a practical solution.
In my opinion, it is absolutely unacceptable, even stupid, that women expect to make things difficult for men in relation to their children, yet expect to have an easy time of it. Things don't work that way.

On the other hand, divorce is a period of uncertainty and women legitimately entertain the fear that if a man takes the kids, he may abscond with them or try to keep them away from him. That does not imply that she should follow the steps above, they can have an arrangement to make it work.

Now this does not attempt in any way to absolve some men that appear to be irresponsible.

Having said that. It is the same reason men hate the thought to alimony. Why should any man maintain any woman who is no longer his wife, provides him no emotional support or sexual relations. It is just absurd.

Guess what one the highest predictors of present fathers is; joint physical custody.

Once a man has access to his kids (I don't mean visitation) in a manner that the woman does not control in any way, he stays with them and takes responsibility for them.

Women don't want this ofcourse because it implies that she may not get any child support, they fight it tooth and nail.

So it is a 2 way street.

I Thought It Was Only Me Noticing This Bad Habit Of Theirs Because I've Never Seen Divorce Papers For Children But Yet, They Divorce Both Wife And Children are the

CuriousStudent:

I knew it was a failure of a man I was chatting with and the chance of amounting to anything in this life is low for you

Better focus on your Keke napep driving (eya fuel price will affect your hustle) or the petty trades you do.

This is my last conversation with you,I don't talk to hustling guys

Go find peace abeg.

I really feel for you. Do not let bitterness and hatred consume you.

So sorry for you o.

I was wondering if you are just a victim of circumstances but it turns out what happened to you or is happening to you was/is your fault.
Go seek ☮️ abeg.

hairyman:
It is always assumed that a man takes care of his kids because he fathered them. That is part of it, in fact, but hardly all of it.

A man enjoys a deep emotional satisfaction from his association with his children. Their presence in his life gives it that little more.shine that makes life bearable.

Often, during and after divorce, this emotional satisfaction is withdrawn because the women make it difficult or even impossible for the man to connect with his children often. She hoards them or tries to control his interaction with them. (Meanwhile within mutual social circles, she may be reviling him for abandoning them)
It doesn't end there, many women frequently work to poison the mind of the children against their father. They would say nasty things that these kids tell their teachers and friends about, who in turn, call their fathers to inform them.

The courts also often make the error of giving the man visiting rights only. Preferably it should mandatorily be the children spending time with their father on all school vacations.
In my opinion that should be ideal.

Anyway, given this withdrawal of emotional staisfaction, in addition with an attempt to withdraw from the emotional devastation of having children whose minds are being actively poisoned against him, the man withdraws totally from the family and starts working towards starting another one.

It is a practical solution.
In my opinion, it is absolutely unacceptable, even stupid, that women expect to make things difficult for men in relation to their children, yet expect to have an easy time of it. Things don't work that way.

On the other hand, divorce is a period of uncertainty and women legitimately entertain the fear that if a man takes the kids, he may abscond with them or try to keep them away from him. That does not imply that she should follow the steps above, they can have an arrangement to make it work.

Now this does not attempt in any way to absolve some men that appear to be irresponsible.

Having said that. It is the same reason men hate the thought to alimony. Why should any man maintain any woman who is no longer his wife, provides him no emotional support or sexual relations. It is just absurd.

Guess what one the highest predictors of present fathers is; joint physical custody.

Once a man has access to his kids (I don't mean visitation) in a manner that the woman does not control in any way, he stays with them and takes responsibility for them.

Women don't want this ofcourse because it implies that she may not get any child support, they fight it tooth and nail.

So it is a 2 way street.

You made sense alot.i can agree.

But the welfare of kids should not be tied down to "emotional satisfaction" and the rest. Feelings or satisfaction shouldn't be the reason to withdraw any support from kids. Or do women "feel good" or "connected" to the men before raising their four kids alone?

It is never an easy road for either couple,but it seems it's women that still fulfil their duties despite the uneasiness while men can take the royal walk when their emotions,peace of mind or whatever is at stake. This is what men accuse us of, "wanting soft life or taking the leave when a man money finishes or he loses his job".

Tying down a man support to his kids after divorce to his "emotional connection " or "gossip from the ex-wives" and the rest is flimsy.

But off course those excuses will continue to fly until the law makes it madatory-at that time you will complain of the law being man-hating or gynocentric

By the way I also wish the law should be flexible on custody. A woman should not be automatically granted custody.

hairyman:

Guess what one the highest predictors of present fathers is; joint physical custody.

Once a man has access to his kids (I don't mean visitation) in a manner that the woman does not control in any way, he stays with them and takes responsibility for them.

Women don't want this ofcourse because it implies that she may not get any child support, they fight it tooth and nail.

Pure fact