sonOfLucifer:

I remember you. A***e

I've gone by so many monikers myself, I've lost count.

I'm that dude that was enquiring from you about traveling to India to get a college degree. (If you still remember).

sonOfLucifer:

Peeing. Erections came after Eve. True story.

That explains the pen.is aspect but what about all the other reproductive organs such as the vas deferens, prostate, seminal vesicle?

More importantly, did he have empty ballsacks or were they non-existent?

blueyedgeek:

I've gone by so many monikers myself, I've lost count.

I'm that dude that was enquiring from you about traveling to India to get a college degree. (If you still remember).

Yeah, I do. Send me a mail buharifan@gmail.com

CoolUsername:
That explains the pen.is aspect but what about all the other reproductive organs such as the vas deferens, prostate,
seminal vesicle?More importantly, did he have empty ballsacks or were they non-existent?

CHai.. see haters You want to spoil my story

sonOfLucifer:

Yeah, I do. Send me a mail

I lost interest in the Indian thingy some years back. I'll still send a mail though (who knows, maybe you have money you are not using that you can dash me for new year).

Please continue with the story of creation as inspired by Lucie.

Hilarious as it seems this post only shows how stupid 21st century man will be to believe such a fable as the creation story. Science has given us reputable answers to how the universe began, it's age and how the creatures on earth evolved. There is no doubt that the universe came from design but saying it is the creation story is pathetic.

sobmos:
Not sure what to write. This one pass me.

Reasoning pass all religious folks.

blueyedgeek:
I lost interest in the Indian thingy some years back. I'll still send a mail though (who knows, maybe you have money you are not using that you can dash me for new year).

Please continue with the story of creation as inspired by Lucie.

Np Bro. Thanks for the support.

op pls continue with your story.. I like your creativity

The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. It was the middle of Christmasless December, for the story of Christmas begins years later.
A particularly nasty harmattan wind was blowing through the garden, leaving dust and dry lips in its wake. Eve woke up early that morning and immediately proceeded to make Adam breakfast.
As she walked past the Forbidden Tree, the unexpected happened. One of the fruits dropped and rolled to her feet.

The serpent's advice resurfaced in her mind. She had never felt this way before. She cast a quick glance round her to make sure no one was looking, stooped to pick the fruit and dumped it in her basket.

Back at their open tent, Adam had just rolled out of stone.
'Morning Eve, I'm really hungry today. Must be that new style we tried out last night, huh' he said, slightly tapping Eve's wide ass. Eve chuckled and dropped the basket on the grass.
Adam noticed the new item on the menu.
'Eve baby, what fruit is this? Isn't this fruit from the Forbidden Tree?' asked Adam.
'Adamumu honey, yes it is. It dropped at my feet just as I was walking past it today. I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. Aren't you tired of eating pear and guava? Let's try something new honey'...
Such is the power of persuasion a woman possesses over her lover, that Adam didn't even think twice before sinking his teeth into it and passing it on to his wife.

And as sweet juice of the fruit touched their tongues and rolled down the back of their throats, their reasoning became complete and scales fell from their eyes.

'Eve, what the Bleep happened? I feel strange'
'Me too, honey'

And for the first time, humans felt shame upon seeing themselves naked. Through the power of reasoning which they had gained by eating from the Forbidden Tree, they devised an ingenuous solution: Tree-Wear.
Made of leaves and twigs, this classic designer 2-piece could be worn around the balls and pussy comfortably. They immediately sought a place to hide from God, for they knew that they'd done wrong and offended God.

In the evening, there was a whistling at the Gates of Eden. That was the signal that God was approaching and was in a good mood. And, yeah, he was in a pretty good mood today. Who'd have known gliding through blackholes was such an exhilarating experience.

'Kpon kpon, una dey house? Adam, Eve, where una dey, I don show o'
This was weird. Something must have gone wrong.
'Oh no, no no no they couldn't have' God's mind pounded as he called out to them..

'Yes, Lord' Adam said in a really low voice.
'What have you done Adam?'
'I heard your voice and I hid from you for I am naked?'

'Who told you you are naked? Did you eat from the Forbidden tree?'...

'No be me o. Na the woman wey you use my rib design. Na she carry am give me as I wake this morning'..

'Eve, is this true?'

'Na Snake cause am o.' said Eve, tears streaming down her cheeks.

God was sad. He was broken but not heart-broken. How could his orders be disobeyed? Who would dare do this to him? He was going to correct this immediately. He would show no weakness.

'Snake'

'Yes Papa'

'Show'

The snake bounced like a gangster towards the center of the garden where they were gathered. And God started dishing out curses like a loving God.

'Snake, for wetin you do, no more feet for you. Na belle you go use dey waka up and down. When man see you, im go kill you post picture for Nairaland. Idiot, you wan carry me play abi'
'Eve, your father yansh there, from today, to born pikin go hard you well well'
'Adam, for this nonsense wey you do, you see this ground. I don curse am join. Before you chop for this life, you go sweat tire. Thunder fire all of una. See as una dey treat me after I don take my time create una..'

'Ngwa, everybody pack una load commot this garden now now'

'Oga, even us?' tortoise asked, 'Wetin we do na?'

'Mscheew, before I count ten, make all of una commot from here'..

As the animals moved towards the gates of the garden, Angels Gabriel and Michael from Heaven Sector 1 division approached from the skies with flaming swords to guard the entrance and ensure that no one would ever step foot again into Man's first home.


END OF PART ONE.

sagamite frank317 laykhorn ishilove sukkot uyiiredia dearpreye MizMyColi

I just dey look.

sonOfLucifer:
sagamite frank317 laykhorn ishilove sukkot uyiiredia dearpreye MizMyColi

CC: llaykorn
Laykhorn and llaykorn are different persons.

laykhorn:

CC: llaykorn
Laykhorn and llaykorn are different persons.

My bad. Thanks.

Haha. This was a far more interesting read than the Bible's.

sonOfLucifer:
sagamite frank317 laykhorn ishilove sukkot uyiiredia dearpreye MizMyColi

Lol... Did I ever believe this story? I must have been sick

frank317:


Lol... Did I ever believe this story? I must have been sick

My broda.. e taya me.. at some point, even these Pastorpreneurs would have realised it's a big joke.

I can't..

intarastin mi amigos, intarastin

sukkot:
intarastin mi amigos, intarastin

My Oga, hailings.

sonOfLucifer:

My Oga, hailings.

top of the morning and compliments of the season to you my kind sir

Wow! The story is great

sonOfLucifer:
In the beginning was God.

And he got bored because the world was void. God knew not how he came. He had always existed. He is, was and is.

He couldn't die, so he couldn't be said to be alive. He was. He just was.

At some point, a thought came into his head. Now one can't say where this thought came from. Or if this thought gave him a sense of purpose. But it was a good thought.

So he spoke. And there was light. And with that light, he saw lots of darkness. And space, lots of space. The kind of space that will put a smile on an Ikwerre man's face.

So off to work he set. A planet here and a planet there. The world was his creative playground. All he had to do was speak and it became. The original talk and do.

And at the end of the work, he made himself some Amala and Ewedu to eat with his 7 fingers.

After eating, he drove his Bentley to planet Pluto to dance Azonto in space.

He then spent 4 weeks in meditation to prepare for designing how he would construct a perfect arsse like Kim Kardasians.

Then he took some female angels and gave them a Godly banging.





Any more rubbish you people want to hear about what we "know" about God?

Sagamite:


And at the end of the work, he made himself some Amala and Ewedu to eat with his 7 fingers.

After eating, he drove his Bentley to planet Pluto to dance Azonto in space.

He then spent 4 weeks in meditation to prepare for designing how he would construct a perfect arsse like Kim Kardasians.

Then he took some female angels and gave them a Godly banging.





Any more rubbish you people want to hear about what we "know" about God?

Create your own thread bro.

The top still makes more sense.

Richirich713:
The top still makes more sense.

Who created the "Ultimate Being"?

He emerged from "Nothing"?

Sagamite:


Who created the "Ultimate Being"?

He emerged from "Nothing"?

Ever heard of the word eternal?

Atheists used it all the time for the universe before the Big Bang arrived.

Richirich713:


Ever heard of the word eternal?

Atheists used it all the time for the universe before the Big Bang arrived.

And so?

So you think when you explain your unexplainable GOD with eternal, it makes sense. But when Atheists explain their unexplainable start with eternal, it does not make sense?

Richirich713:

Ever heard of the word eternal?

I assume you've met this God and he told you he's eternal. More blessings upon thy lovely heart.

Sagamite:


And so?

So you think when you explain your unexplainable GOD with eternal, it makes sense. But when Atheists explain their unexplainable start with eternal, it does not make sense?

Atheists no longer hold to the view that the universe is eternal, that all change when the big bang arrived on the scene.

And yes its makes much more sense to say a intelligent eternal being created the world than to say "nothing" did it.

sonOfLucifer:

I assume you've met this God and he told you he's eternal. More blessings upon thy lovely heart.

And I assume u saw "nothing" do "something" and later randomly created dinosaurs for no reason.