Topic : A final Dialogue with 2015..
Me:
Come ooo, you this 2015 sef,.O boi, I jus realize say i don tey inside u for long ooo...,shoo sinz january 1 2015... Wetin u use tie me down sef till ds december 31st?
2015:
Bros, y u sef dey talk like this naa.. If I no sweet reach,u for don comot tey tey naa..afterall no b say na handcuffs and superglue I use gum u down. Na Baba God Grace u chop oo.. Infact na hungryman size Grace you chao.
Me:
Well sha,u try say u accomodate me, my family,friends,neighbours,colleagues and wellwishers in good health of mind and body., For that I say a very big THANK YOU.. I dey grateful (big hug).
2015:
Awww..stop making this emotional naa.. I still get small time remainin.. No dey talk like say I don kpai finish..
Me:
Buh as u sef know,everythin dah has a jan 1 must have a december 31st naa... Even me sef get expiration date for the year 2***..
2015:
Yepa!!! Dah far?? Na only 365 days dem gimme.. Evn 2016 ma junior bro dm wan give am 366 days as per leap year.. I no like ds kain ojoro jor (pityface). If to say d power dey my hand,I for give myself 3000055533289 thousand,million,billion days..
Me:
Ogbeni calm down jor...If na ur time,na ur time b dat oo.. Nothing anybody wan do abt am.. Wen 12.00 nack gbagam.. 1 second sef u no go see..
2015:
Kai,upon all the good things wey I do for ppl for my turn, shebi I give em CHANGE wey dey want,LINDA IKEJI sef buy house for bannana island..,shey U sef go OGUN state go become CORPER..And all your plenty fwends wey marry, And even Manutd......(Halts) wetin manutd do this year sef?? (Scratches head, whispers..),let's leave dah one aside for now, And all the other numerous things I did for ppl for my turn,is this how they will pay me back? (Long face)
Me:
Haba,homie,cheer up naa,flex dey dah syd wey u dey go ooo...Forget say erryone dey try form say make u waka shap shap, we go surely remember you for somethings naa. Goals were definately set,and evn thou no be all these goals we accomplish,@ least when there is life,there is a higher percentage say we must MAKE AM. Aluta continua..
2015:
Aluta ke? For goodbye message.. Na wa oo
Me:
All join.. Prayer na prayer,na amen b the koko.
Enhen padi,
Yes oo,I no forget all d good people wey kpai for ur regime, chai u know say dem yapa small, oya close your eyes,comot your cap make we give em a one minute silence.. ( 1 min silence) ..
2geda..( I and 2015) :
May they rest in perfect peace... Amen.
2015:
I fear say u go use aluta continua finish am again ooo..
Me:
U sabi think mumu thing with this your big head sha.. Anyways.., Na things wey I no do for ur regime wey I wan do for anoda regime I wan list for u..
2015:
U don dey plan am down sharp sharp sha.. Shey we go call am newyear resolution? Coz me and u kno say na jan2 u spoil all d one wey u tell 2014 say u go do for ma tenure..
Me:
List nd Resolution na same? Me dn bone dah resolution own oo.. E no dey work.. Nw na wishlist sure pass..
2015:
Lmao!!! OLE!! Lazy pikin.. Sha talk d koko wey u wan talk..
Me:
Oya listen real good ooo.... The list long small.. Concentrate oo so u go help me give 2016 d list on ur way out..
2015:
Am all ears papi..
Me:
1) I wish for world peace in 2016.. People too die for no reason this year.
2) I wish for a higher level of understanding of religions.. If people understand their religion better,maybe the world go better.
3)I wish Nigerians experience real CHANGE in 2016.. People too suffer for your tenure.. Just ask OSUN and IMO people..
4) I wish say God go give common-sense to people on how to properly use social media. The thing wan dey threathen human existence.. E jus be like say everybody wan comot the real world,go dey exist inside social media.
5)I wish For a higher standard of living for Nigerians.. E no easy,Nigerians dey hustle buh our hustles no dey show... Tell 2016 make e leave other countries favour us first.. Till $1 is equivalent to something relevant.
6)To be a Nigerian Politician no easy @ all.. Nothing they attempt to do wey dey make sense for the eye of the people.. True true,dem no dey try, buh Prayers dey more important than blame-games.. I wish for these Political figures to be unified and steer this country to safer waters. (Enhen,make lai mohammeed no dey lie again too.. Add that one too)
7)Tell 2016 say MANUTD don suffer enough! Kilode? Dem no dey change coach say we change coach? Sinz how many years now.. One small interhouse sports medal we no add to cabinet.. Dust jus dey cover d ones wey we don win tey tey.. Vangaal dey use philosophy dey romance our ears.. Trophy we no see.. Tell 2016 say dah jazz e give barca.. Power must change hands now.. Na Manutd turn to use that jazz.. (Paramode)..
2015:
Anhan.. U dey vex for Manutd ooo.. Buh chelsea sef dey suffer small naa,make I tell 2016 anytyn abt em too?
Me:
Oga na the work I send u make u do.. C and M no b same alphabet.. Afterall,they still dey refer to chelsea as the champions,wait till them call them league 2 champions.. Enhen u fit call for help then. Listen on jor..
E be like say youths don dey die pass adults ds days.. Abeg make 2016 come along with long life. Young people all around the world need am.. And make our adults no dey anykain death again.. How teenager of 2* go matchet 80 year old man? If I reach 80.. Omo flex jus start oo.. Nobody go come matchet me for my house.. I can't EXIT dah way o
9)Also,abeg tell 2016 Make he tell God to teach Nigerians how to practice and get used to proper ethinc harmony..Ethnocentrism,Tribalism and prejudice is tearing our. Dear nation apart ...we ask that God Gives patience to the minority,hope and liberation to those that feel oppressed,make us understand true freedom and cherish our cultural uniqueness even in our diversity.. This way we will prosper as a nation.
2015:
Chai ds ur list don dey too long ooo
Me:
And I neva write my own personal things oo.. Like:
A)off light switch for 2015,on am back for 2016
B)get low b3 for 2015,charge my fone for 2016
C)Enter toilet go piss for 2015,come out 2016
D)Marry for ...... (No cancel dah one)
E) ETc, ETc, ETC..
F) Finally get liver toast dah pretty girl wey I don dey eye sinz 2*****, and rake for that my oga..
Anyway sha,No worry my own na private letter.
Buh for these few points above please help me beg 2016 to actualize some for us.. Na beg we beg..
2015:
No lele pal,wah are fwends for afterall.. Gimme the letter.. Make I package for u..
Me:
No forget am for shoprite wen u dey take final selfie oo..
2015:
Haba naa.. Wah u take me for? Gimme small credit naa..
Me:
Oya no vex.. Owk gimme ur personal no.. And BB pin Make I fit hala nd ping u naa..
2015:
Oya take am.. 08020152015,BYE2015 pin..
Me:
No wahala ma sure nigga.. I go dey hala u once a while.. I promise. Goodbye 2015.
2015:
(Cryin) singin.... Goodbye is d saddest word I eva heard..
Me:
Y u wan spoil d mood naa (changes track) Oya shakiti bobo.. Shakiti 2015,
(2015's mood changes),take his shakiti pose and starts shakiting.. Smiling happily.. Opens d door.. Shakities away...
Me:
Phew! What a perfect gentleman.. Too bad he had to go...
Minutes later.. (Knock on d door) ko ko ko ko ko ko...
Me:
Yes who is dere o jare... (In yoruba tone)
Stranger:
Its me.. D one u have been expecting..
Me:
Allawee?? (Shines eyes)
Stranger:
Allowance ni.. Na 2016 o jere, ngwa open this door na na na.. My hands are heavy with good tidings.....
CuRtain Falls.
Happy new year to all beautiful people out there.