Yieldings:
Personally, I would prefer nature to take its course.

Recommendations are fine, but at the end of the day you've to use your own judgement.



@ bolded, if that is your plan, then that's a very bad idea. You're going to see someone once or twice and then walk down the aisle. It takes time to get to know someone; once or twice is not enough. By spending time together, you will find out just how compatible you are, if you've similar values, expectations, etc. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, so ensure you have met the right person before taking the plunge.

Many thanks for your response! I appreciate it. My plan to visit Nigeria once or twice in the next couple of years is because I don't enjoy long distance flights.

Please, be very mindful of the naija connection ish. You might end up with karishka, and she might end up with mike tyson...just saying.

Long distance dating is fraught with pitfalls. There is that tendency to pretend. The opportunity to know each others bad side is very rare.

Be very careful with church girls .

You can meet your spouse anywhere (don't automatically approve that church girl o...plenty stories that touch)...@ the grocery store, in college, @ the bank, @ the gym etc. Just be open minded.

It's usually best if you marry someone that is already used to the environment you'll be settling in. I no wan read your story for news o.

It depends on who is doing the recommendation.

Through your life's experiences you've gotten a true picture of the right woman that suits you. I congratulate you on this.

I wish to remind you that 90% of your happiness will depend on this woman. This search for her is not one to be given to chance. You will have to sit down in some quiet place and dig deep to fashion out your best strategy.

There are no finished products in the market.look for one that has the potential and you infuse and instil the right morals and discipline into her. You sef must be a person disciplined and with refined mind before you can work with a raw material. You must lead her by example.

Look beyond conventional places of getting women. Your ideal woman could be somewhere right now innocently happy while hawking akara and bread in some interior locale.

Neverquit:
Please, be very mindful of the naija connection ish. You might end up with karishka, and she might end up with mike tyson...just saying.

Long distance dating is fraught with pitfalls. There is that tendency to pretend. The opportunity to know each others bad side is very rare.

Be very careful with church girls .

You can meet your spouse anywhere (don't automatically approve that church girl o...plenty stories that touch)...@ the grocery store, in college, @ the bank, @ the gym etc. Just be open minded.

It's usually best if you marry someone that is already used to the environment you'll be settling in. I no wan read your story for news o.

Chubhie:
It depends on who is doing the recommendation.
Through your life's experiences you've gotten a true picture of the right woman that suits you. I congratulate you on this.
I wish to remind you that 90% of your happiness will depend on this woman. This search for her is not one to be given to chance. You will have to sit down in some quiet place and dig deep to fashion out your best strategy.
There are no finished products in the market.look for one that has the potential and you infuse and instil the right morals and discipline into her. You sef must be a person disciplined and with refined mind before you can work with a raw material. You must lead her by example.
Look beyond conventional places of getting women. Your ideal woman could be somewhere right now innocently happy while hawking akara and bread in some interior locale.

Thank you for your contributions!

HNY all.

I wouldn’t advise anything when choosing a life partner, neither would I rule out anything. I personally eschewed the internet, but I’m sure it’s worked for some. Recommendations can certainly work – and work well. Be that “soft” or more formal types of recommendation.

Traditionally recommendation via family/community networks and contacts was how it was done – and still is in many places. Many tightly knit – for example some Jewish traditions – have specialist matchmakers, with excellent results. I had a “soft” recommendation when meeting my wife.

One of the issues I see with random recommendations, is that people tend to match any “singles” they know, without much thought to the individuals themselves. Often, the “recommenders” have a vested interest. Beware.

I had a few of these myself. They never went past 1 date, and always had me thinking “whose idea was this?”

The other is pressure from friends or family if they are aware. I had one introduction where the “friend” that introduced us kept pressuring me to commit, regardless of the fact that I was not certain. And not just pressure, but no concern about my misgivings, instead questioning my manhood.

My main concern about your post is this;

BlessedFellow01:
Do you reckon it is worth trying or too risky considering the fact that I may not have more than one or two physical contact with

Absolutely "too risky". I do not think that is advisable. You simply cannot know someone properly, let alone enough for marriage, without spending adequate time with them.

Phone communications and fleeting visits leave too much room for non-disclosure and outright deceit. In the last experience I mentioned above, it took just one day of my second visit for the whole tissue of lies she had constructed to collapse.

However you meet your wife, you have to know each other thoroughly and build your own rapport/relationship. I don’t even recommend distance relationships, unless the relationship was established prior to the distance coming into play.

Are you a Christian? Entreat the Lords favour. The Lord does for good or bad. Humble yourself,it’s what saved me from the ghastly mistake I would have made by marrying that woman.

Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death The woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

Proverbs 19:14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

And yes, good single independent ladies still exist. All the best in your search. Please return with good tidings and pictures .

Mutaino7, thanks for the mention


TV

TV01:
HNY all.

I wouldn’t advise anything when choosing a life partner, neither would I rule out anything. I personally eschewed the internet, but I’m sure it’s worked for some. Recommendations can certainly work – and work well. Be that “soft” or more formal types of recommendation.

Traditionally recommendation via family/community networks and contacts was how it was done – and still is in many places. Many tightly knit – for example some Jewish traditions – have specialist matchmakers, with excellent results. I had a “soft” recommendation when meeting my wife.

One of the issues I see with random recommendations, is that people tend to match any “singles” they know, without much thought to the individuals themselves. Often, the “recommenders” have a vested interest. Beware.

I had a few of these myself. They never went past 1 date, and always had me thinking “whose idea was this?”

The other is pressure from friends or family if they are aware. I had one introduction where the “friend” that introduced us kept pressuring me to commit, regardless of the fact that I was not certain. And not just pressure, but no concern about my misgivings, instead questioning my manhood.

My main concern about your post is this;

Absolutely "too risky". I do not think that is advisable. You simply cannot know someone properly, let alone enough for marriage, without spending adequate time with them.

Phone communications and fleeting visits leave too much room for non-disclosure and outright deceit. In the last experience I mentioned above, it took just one day of my second visit for the whole tissue of lies she had constructed to collapse.

However you meet your wife, you have to know each other thoroughly and build your own rapport/relationship. I don’t even recommend distance relationships, unless the relationship was established prior to the distance coming into play.

Are you a Christian? Entreat the Lords favour. The Lord does for good or bad. Humble yourself,it’s what saved me from the ghastly mistake I would have made by marrying that woman.

Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death The woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

Proverbs 19:14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

And yes, good single independent ladies still exist. All the best in your search. Please return with good tidings and pictures .

Mutaino7, thanks for the mention


TV

Many thanks for your contribution! Very insightful.

Recommendation is okay but you have to do your home work very well. Don't be in a hurry. However it's better for you to find a wife where you live to avoid stories that touch. There are great Nigerian girls over there.

https://www.nairaland.com/2840629/it-go-back-him-get Op another one

intbizoil:
https://www.nairaland.com/2840629/it-go-back-him-get Op another one

Amhappy:
Recommendation is okay but you have to do your home work very well. Don't be in a hurry. However it's better for you to find a wife where you live to avoid stories that touch. There are great Nigerian girls over there.

I am grateful to everyone who has contributed to this post! I think I can make an informed decision based on your contributions.

BlessedFellow01:


Many thanks for your response! I appreciate it. My plan to visit Nigeria once or twice in the next couple of years is because I don't enjoy long distance flights.

BlessedFellow01:




I am grateful to everyone who has contributed to this post! I think I can make an informed decision based on your contributions.

I hope you can. Good luck.