they are not breaking marriage as an institution but themselves and their hearts and sadly innocent kids

posakosa:

To all Nigerians out there, a sucessful marriage often times has nothing to do with religion. Most conversations I have with Nigerians they more than always want to involve religion when discussing issues related to marriage.
Any kind of success in this world, has to do with self.

Hmmm Religion is one key factor. When u get married to someone of a different religious ideology, am afraid that marriage has started on a shaky groung and is doomed to fail.
How will u feel when ur wife goes to the mosque, you go to the church. Already the division sets in and they will both want to impose their religion on the children.

Hi people, please permit me to contribute my own little quota.

I can attribute a successful marriage to the following

1. Friendship - i beleive a very important step to marraige is friendship, if you are good friends with you spouse then you guys will be able to share all your secrets and pains.
2. Intentions - What are your intentions for that marriage, is it money, fame, power etc. whatever it is determines how well you'll do as a couple
3. Family that prays together stays together, this brings me back to the religion part, truth is, your religious beliefs have a lot to do with how far and well you go
4. Communication - How do you want to make things work when you don't talk. you have a fight and you keep it in your mind, according to a daily devotional i was reading, if you don't deal with anger/differencies immediately, chances are that it aggravates and you might never be able to deal with that anymore, it then generates to bitterness, unforgiveness etc
5. Elimination of third Party - For crying out loud, you made your marital vows to your wife and not friends nor family, not even your pastor, please please ppl, let's grow up. Nothing whatsoever deserves to leave the four wall of your house, you are meant to be one, yourself and your spouse, nobody else.
6. Understanding
7. Tolerance
8. Agreement
9. Trust - Now this is a very important and crucial part, when you decided to get involved (married) with this person, you must have known the person's fault and shortcomings and you still wen ahead with the marriage, why are you now basing your jugdement of that person on the past or on someone elses experience

Bottom Line: Marriage is an institution that you get in and don't look back, you are expected to get into marriage with your spouse, forgeting everything you were, your educational, family, financial or mental background, and starting afresh with this person from nowhere. I'll end my contribution with a bible quotation "love covers multitude of sin". If you love your spouse, Divorce, even a day without talking to her will be a horrible one. start seeing your spouse as though he/she were you(which they truely are). Don't do to the person what you cannot do to yourself.

Leaving you with God's blessing for your marriage

Be happy

Something are actually so complicated, they tend to be beyond logical analysis, bottom line

Marriage is still a beautiful institution, however, there are some factors that can millitate against this beautiful institution called marriage.

i. Tolerance - the ability to bear something unpleasant or annoying, or to continue existing despite disadvantageous conditions.

ii. Mutual respect

iii. Forgiving spirit  etc

All these counts.

i think am lucky. cus am not bothered by little shortcomings from my wife.

Marriage is a beautiful thing becuase it is ordained by God and what so ever God has joined together no man shall put assunder.  There could be a break up when the meaning of marriage is not known and the covenant is not properly kept (till death do us part).  Marriage is not an ordinary thing because it is sacred, "Marriage is holy if the bed in undefile"  - Because it is ordained by Gob therefore marriage needs constant Prayer and God's intervention to keep its ordinances. in order to ward away MR. ASSUNDER - THE DEVIL.

We must therefore know the meaning of marriage

M  -  Man - meaning marriage is meant for real men and not boys because a man must leave his mother and father and be united to a woman
A   -  Association - coming together of both parties (husband and wife) and the family of both becomes related as a result of marriage
R   -  Respect  -   respect each other nomatter the defference
R   -  Responsiblity - You are responsible for each other in all aspects
I  -    Interraction - communication is necessary in marriage
A  -   Active - Marriage must not be domant, must not be left to be idle, make sure you incandle the light of fun in your marriage, dont let marriage     become bored or routinues or a one way thing, make is fun and funn, dont get too carried away with problems of life
G  -   God - God must not be absent in marriage, infact God is the soul head of the marraige, the moment you minus God from your marriage , ?
E  -   Eternal - Marriage is till death do you part, whether sweet or sour - for better for worse

When you know this and stick to it, God helps those who help themselves.

EbonyNaija:

Something are actually so complicated, they tend to be beyond logical analysis, bottom line

True talk

Marriage is a complicated issue. The Devil is behind all break-ups. If the Devil can try so hard to destroy the union made by the creator himself(THE UNION OF ADAM AND EVE), all must be careful and allow God take over your marriages. It goes beyond understanding your spouse. The devil deceived Eve and Eve later persuaded Adam to eat the fruit. Nowadays that alone could lead to a broken home because when the man remembers the luxury in the Garden of Eden, he will never forgive his wife for allowing him miss all the comfort and peace. So we must allow God take perfect control and heed to his word. that is the key to a happy home.

my marriage is almost 3 yrs now and i thank God for it, i keep telling myself that we have not even started because we stil hav our whole lives ahead of us

-- a lot depends on ur mentality as at the time u decide to enter to marry that person, 4 instance,my parents have a beautiful rlnship and my love's parents dont, but while dating i discovered that the last thing he wants is a problematic home while my aspiration was to have one even beta than my parents, and so we resolved that we'l always work on our problems and treat ourselves like we've got no one else and it has worked, so far,

so i wld recommend,
friendship, -- wen all d love wey shack u don simmer down, u shd stil b able to like d person
communication,
understanding and d ability to manage personal differences
prayer

Your bros was absolutely right. H e just got i spot on .Many rush into it but few know how to survive it. its a murky water.swim carefully.Ponder about it carefully and clear your head cos u never know when those words will be usefull.

Marriages are failing for two big reasons are these:

1. Many people don't bother asking God BEFORE they start dating/marrying a person. I would think the best person to ask about whether or not you should date/marry a person would be the very God that created marriage. Just because the boy or girl ticks all the right boxes or is born again, doesn't mean he/she is the one for you. Everyone needs to find the rib that was taken out of them or the man they were taken out of. You can't join Tunde's rib to Femi and vice-versa. It won't work well.

2. Secondly, most people go into marriage without learning a single jot about what the bible says about marriage.
Many people go into it with a single person mindset and self centered mentality, when marriage is really about giving up yourself for your spouse. God created marriage and gave instructions of what a husband/wife should do but very people know it and even fewer practice it. Many go into marriage with ideas from their parents/friends marriages or worse still ideas from TV programmes and films. By the time of the honeymoon, the fairy tale is over. If it takes a medical doctor 5-6 yrs of training before he/she can even touch a patient, why then do we think we need no training about God's principles before entering marriage? It's like we think some type of wisdom will just drop into us when we say I do and instantly we will have all the skills to make a marriage work.

The simple fact is this, Marriage is of God and we can't do what is of God in our way.

The link below might be of help to the couple
http://www.dianedew.com/marriage.htm

I also know Daystar Church does 6 months premarital training. Maybe this might be of help the couple.

If you have friends abroad (UK or USA), get them to order the 13 Marriage Teachings from Andrew Wommack. The site is below. I ordered all 13 cds. It has been a tremendous help to me and to my friends in our marriages for us to learn what the Bible ACTUALLY says about marriage. I wish I had been given this earlier in my marriage, it would have saved us a lot of problems. Unfortunately we arent hearing much of this in churches nowadays.
I would recommend those of you who are single or engaged to listen to this teaching as well.
UK: http://www.awme.net/shop_en/products.php?cat=103
USA: http://www.awmi.net/store/usa/cds/family


All the best.

femfem2000:

I also know Daystar Church does 6 months premarital training. Maybe this might be of help the couple.

All the best.

Bros six months training for a life time job,you better be kidding.

so the training should be for 10 years right?? No, no, YOU have gat 2 b kidding

cabali:

so the training should be for 10 years right?? No, no, YOU have gat 2 b kidding

Know it today that marriage is the only institute that you recieve the graduation certificate at entry level and never graduate from it,so the learning/training period ends in the grave QED.

My dear friend,
marriage is indeed a beautiful institution.It make or mar an individual;but for marriage to be successful a lot of factors come into play among them is the God factor.The Bible says EXCEPT THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE THE LABOURERS LABOUR BUT IN VAIN.The institution is like building a house and can you imagine building without the architect's model or blueprint.A lot of people are building their marriages without consulting the ARCHITECT-God Almighty;many still go ahead with their eyes wide open starting their marriage on a very faulty foundation.Just because an individual is a graduate or a phd holder does not mean the fellow can grapple with the complexity of marraige.A fellow can be BORN AGAIN and yet exclude God while embarking on the issue of marriage;such fellows suffer at the end.God says if anyone lack wisdom let him ask from Him.For marriage to be successful the no.1 requirement is to ask God for WISDOM.The moment a fellow choose  a wrong partner for marriage,that marriage is doomed before it even started.Just like you have notice the rate of divorce is on the increase even in churches.one of reasons is that PEOPLE PREPARE FOR WEDDING OF JUST ONE DAY WITHOUT PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE.
My dear friend do not be afraid to embrace the institution called marriage,only ensure you get God involved right from the on set.Read my articles concerning the issue of marriage as it bothers on choice of marriage partner at
http://choiceofmarriagepartner.blogpot.com.
Remain blessed and be focused.

www.hubpages.com/profile/aboveonly.

sayso:

Know it today that marriage is the only institute that you recieve the graduation certificate at entry level and never graduate from it,so the learning/training period ends in the grave QED.

an aged pastor that preached at our wedding said even if an angel announced from on high you were meant to be hubby and wifey and both of you choose not to work on loving,celeberating, forgiving and respecting each other you are more likely to join the crowd without any angellic announcements. he was right

cabali:

so the training should be for 10 years right?? No, no, YOU have gat 2 b kidding

Marriage has a lot of complexities. 10 years might not be enough because you keep learning everyday. My friend talked of his uncle and his wife that were married for 24 years and they broke-up even after having six children. It complex.

people should stop rushing into marriage and parents should stay off marriage.
let the couples work things out themselves and seek God's advice or Man of God's advice
dont marry family,marry the person cos someone might come from a good/rich family but will be bad/poor person
in all u do, GOD FIRST

In addition to this

visitor29:

people should stop rushing into marriage and parents should stay off marriage.
let the couples work things out themselves and seek God's advice or Man of God's advice
dont marry family,marry the person cos someone might come from a good/rich family but will be bad/poor person
in all u do, GOD FIRST

Three things you must know in the process to preserve a Mutual Communion Known as Marriage.
I. Be Patience
II. Must Have Endurance
III. Must Always Over-Look Things

The most important thing is friendship. If the husband and wife are best of friends, then it will be easier to relate with one another in times of trial. Sex before marriage, usually clouds the reasoning of intending couples. Marriage is a lot more than sex. It has to do more with compatibility and true friendship.

As a result, lack of understanding, which mosly originates from insufficient knowledge about each other is primarily resposible for marriage breakups. Also, impatience, lack of tolerance, infidelity, just to mention a few are responsible.

Virgo83:

In addition to this

Three things you must know in the process to preserve a Mutual Communion Known as Marriage.
I. Be Patience
II. Must Have Endurance
III. Must Always Over-Look Things

I do not agree that a couple Must always overlook things. For a successful marriage, over looking things always is not the best. If a party feels something is not right, then he or she has the right to tell the other person so that a matter of such will not reoccur. Always overlooking things will eventually lead to both becoming intimate strangers. That's why building solid friendship before marriage is advised.

Well CHANGE is the only constant thing in life, Abi no be una dey talk am?,

jumie:

The most important thing is friendship. If the husband and wife are best of friends, then it will be easier to relate with one another in times of trial. Sex before marriage, usually clouds the reasoning of intending couples. Marriage is a lot more than sex. It has to do more with compatibility and true friendship.

As a result, lack of understanding, which mosly originates from insufficient knowledge about each other is primarily resposible for marriage breakups. Also, impatience, lack of tolerance, infidelity, just to mention a few are responsible.

Youre right my brother, Just like when husband and wife is playing police and thief or cat and dog

sayso:

Know it today that marriage is the only institute that you recieve the graduation certificate at entry level and never graduate from it,so the learning/training period ends in the grave QED.

in the house,


Sorry maybe you mean to say you recieve your admission letter when going into it, but mind you,you can always get a change of institution or course form later,

Abi, ?

I rest my case ooo

jumie:


I do not agree that a couple Must always overlook things. For a successful marriage, over looking things always is not the best. If a party feels something is not right, then he or she has the right to tell the other person so that a matter of such will not reoccur. Always overlooking things will eventually lead to both becoming intimate strangers. That's why building solid friendship before marriage is advised.

True talk.
Dealing with an issue immediately that annoys any of the parties is very important. This solidifies marriage.

sayso:

Know it today that marriage is the only institute that you recieve the graduation certificate at entry level and never graduate from it,so the learning/training period ends in the grave QED.

Meldrick:

Marriage has a lot of complexities. 10 years might not be enough because you keep learning everyday. My friend talked of his uncle and his wife that were married for 24 years and they broke-up even after having six children. It complex.

If you are both saying Bleep the training, then I concur! cos I see no use of it. If 2 people stay together in love respecting one another, they'll do just fine.

Afterall our parents did not attend a training and most of them stay for decades together. Even if some of them break away, then we can say that even with the 6months training, they still woulda!

Most people do not understand what marriage means. Its not just two comin to live together. Some married cos they like & not love. Marriage does not consist in two of you gazing at each other but both lookin in the same direction to archeiv a goal. Its not about beauty even a wife doesn't ve to be fine but young enough to bear a child.

young men/women of nowadays believe in ready-made partners. most on knowing that a babe/guy is already made hastily go to the alter only to discover sooner than later that all that glitters is not gold ;

pple marry for all the wrong reasons
a) Wealth
b) Class thing
c) Boredom etc

To be honest, I think if one isnt mature & ready to handle the responsibilities that comes with marriage! dont even go there!!!!! FILE

Nezan:

young men/women of nowadays believe in ready-made partners. most on knowing that a babe/guy is already made hastily go to the alter only to discover sooner than later that all that glitters is not gold ;

But sincerely most young people want ready made partners. Nobody wants to suffer. The situation in the country has made love strive with finance. Everyone is seriously in love with a comfortable person and after the mariage of such individuals, wht happens becomes what they have to try and cope with. The trouble begins.

Meldrick:

But sincerely most young people want ready made partners. Nobody wants to suffer. The situation in the country has made love strive with finance. Everyone is seriously in love with a comfortable person and after the mariage of such individuals, wht happens becomes what they have to try and cope with. The trouble begins.

Q.E.D.

Divorce and remarriage is not allowed by the WAY sorry to burst anyone 's bubbles, despite it being high in the Church. Mathew 5v32, Luke 16v18 , Mark 10 v 1-15, Malachi 2v16.

Jesus said God hated it and He would not allow it to be done.

It does not mean that people do not do it they do to their detriment. Marriages goes through so many testing marital affairs, bareness of either one of the partners, money , children etc the object of marriage is NOT TO END In divorce and not as an option as many see it to be nowadays.

THe Word says that it is better for a woman if she needs her space to be alone but not divorce her husband and men are not to divorce their wives at all.

well my brother l want u to put everything u do in the hand of the lord before doing lt though there may be trails on ur way but the bible made us to understand that he will not bring the temptation that is more than us to come upon us he will always make a way but the reason for the break ups in marriage is becos we dont walk in accordance with God. he said our young men shall dream dreams and our women see visions before any break up he must have revealed lt to u or ur wife maybe directly or indirectly but out of lgnorance lt happened but lf u re steadfast in the lord there cant be break-up becos the family that prays together stays together. good luck

Kingsleyinfo:

Until the full meaning of "for better for worse" starts sinking into people marriages will keep breaking.

THATS JUST IT MY BROTHER AND NOTHING MORE,

ITS JUST LIKE STICKING TO 1{ONE} SINGLE T.V CHANNEL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, SO TAKE YOUR TIME IN CHOOSING THE CHANNEL YOU'D WANT IT TO BE, AND SORRY ""NO FREE TO AIR""", you know what i mean,

I rest my case,


Irest my case,

This is because, both of them don't feel happy after their marriage that's why they end up separated. It is better if you should know your partner first before you go on with the marriage. You ccan ry this link. I read it and it helped me. http://www.solutionbay.org/problems/after-marriage-problems