Experience has shown that it is very difficult to
be in good relationship with friends and relatives
while having a deep religious commitment,
especially, if those friends or relatives don't hold
the same faith, religious belief or denomination
as you. It has become a common thing that
when someone becomes committed in his/her
religion, he/she parts away with old friends,
relatives, and even parents. Although, it is
always true that bird of a feather flock together,
if you chase away all your old friends and
relatives, who would you call to your belief? Or,
is your own religion for you alone? Won't you
invite people to it? You should call and convince
them to be committed too.
Note: You should only call to a valid and true
religion!
It is unfortunate that some families have
collapsed just because a member has just
become religiously committed. Some have
received curses from their parents. Some have
even created bad images for their belief or faith
unknowingly as a result of their bad character. Is
it a sin to be religiously committed and serious?
It is a shame if someone's friends and relatives
cannot benefit from someone's faith or belief.
It is not a curse or overstatement that not all of
them will accept, but, do your best and leave the
rest. Among those who would not accept, some
would call you a bigot. They would say you no
longer have their time. They would say you are
cantankerous. But, don't be discouraged.
If you are sincerely doing a particular religious
practice, which your friends or relatives don't
accept, and which causes differences among you,
there is no problem. Just try and make efforts to
find textual evidence and references and put it
before them in the best possible manner. Not
saying, "hehe, you that you said so so and so,
you are in trouble now,here is my evidence
against you". Rather, say, o you my friends or
relatives, I love you and hate anything that can
cause dispute among us. Tell them that it is not
possible for friends not to have disputes and
differences, but it is always possible to settle
them amicably. Say, on so so issue in which you
have differences of opinion or faith, here is your
evidence. Say, you have not brought the
evidence to defeat or ridicule them, but to
strengthen your relationship and friendship with
them. After showing them the evidence, ask
them that do they now know that you can do it
without cutting off your friendship tie with them.
Tell them that you have been doing it based on
this evidence, and I hope that they will accept
and still love you.
In addition, you need to be extra good, nice and
kind towards them following every instance of
differences. If you used to call or text them once
a week before, increase it to like twice or three
times. Take advantage of those aspects in which
your faith or religion has made it permissible for
you to do things in common with them and do it
so good that they might be convinced that you
really love them.
Furthermore, you should try to eat with them and
let them eat with you too. This will strengthen
love among you. If they present you gifts, accept
them without hesitation, and try to also present
them with gifts. Always be helpful to them.
Moreover, if it were your parents, for instance, if
they ask you to do just a thing, try to do
additional two or more things that you are very
sure will please them. Be extra careful here, and
don't gamble! Only do that which will please
them! If they ask #100 from you and you can
afford #200, please give them, or at least add
any amount you can afford to it. This will send a
serious message to them. It is called "aroko",
meaning a "symbol" in Yoruba land. Bet it with
me! Whether in your absence or presence, they
(friends or relatives) will confess that you are
now more nice and kind, and they will decide to
let you be and to let you continue with your faith
or belief or whatever you have chosen to do.
Note: Be sure to always try to do good to them
more than you used to do. Increase your
kindness towards them. This will make them
realise that you really love them, and will make
them convinced that you are really acting
according to a valid religious faith. They will be
happy to see that your faith has improved your
character. They may not know all other things
about religion, but they know their right due from
their children including you. That's why you
would see them saying, " Is it your religion that
says you should no longer show respect to us?
Does your religion say parents are not
important? If your religion doesn't teach good
character, then it is not a good religion, so leave
it now". And, as a matter of fact and evidence,
there is no such religion that says one should
not be dutiful and kind towards parents, friends
and relatives. You may not need to verbally tell
them to accept before they are convinced and
decide to make you (child) their model.
Character does it all! With good character, you
can package "shit" and give it to people and they
will accept it.
Furthermore, always try to let your friends and
relatives know what right your faith has given
them. Tell them, oh, do you know that you can
do this do that. Do you know it is upon me to do
this and that for you according to my faith.
Also, it is very essential to always tell them that
you love them, and try to show love and
kindness towards them. Always be ready to help
them, at least with kind words!
This is not only for a faith or belief, but also for
anything you have chosen to do or follow, be it a
career or otherwise, which your friends and
relatives have objected to. This method also
works for couples. You can convince them
amicably and gently. And I promise you, with this
and prayer, they will let you do what you have
chosen to do.
With this, I hope you will be able to marry both
religious commitment and good friendships and
family relationships.
Thanks for reading!
May God guide us!
http://2gedatalk..co.ke/2016/01/how-to-maintain-religious-commitment.html?m=1
cc: Lalasticlala,Barcanista

It is called "aroko", meaning a "symbol" in Yoruba land

can you expantiate more on these.