My Daughter Ran Away From Home - Family - Nairaland
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| My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 3:22pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
It is the second time my daughter will be running away from home to her mum(1st in 2006) we have divorced past six years . She always influence her to do this and the almost seven hours search is like hell before she will eventually call that she is with her. I still wonder what she is up to as I have learnt she is married too. She said she like to see her once in a while,I have arrange my mum place for this. Now she ran to her yesterday again. My wife was worried for over 7 hours after she gave her money to make her hair. I later receive a call in the evening from my Ex. that she is with her. My problem now is,should I leave my daughter with her mum. or what mean do I use to bring her back home. I dont want her to give her bad training as we divorced due to her infidelity. I am lost and dont want the poor girl of 13 years to be influenced badly. Please advise. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by trustonyi: 4:36pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Leave the poor girl to stay with her mum since she feels comfortable wit her |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 4:39pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
trustonyi: Comfortable ? I am thinking about her future. A mother that can teach her lies at age six (then). What will happen now that she is growing up |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 4:47pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Firstly, why are you not allowing your daughter to see her biological mother? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 4:50pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
@ spikecylinder I cant stop her from seeing her,all I said is that she should notify me and she can see her at my mums place, Anytime she feel like. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by peng: 4:54pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
My Broda while i feel for you,i am also sad that you failed to some extent to play a fatherly role otherwise your Daughter will not leave you and run to her mother.Her running to her Mum feels she is more comfortable with her mother and the other way round you may be too strict with her, I guess you have to search on the internet their a lot of books that has to do with he bringing up adolescence like your Daughter you may want to read and see her you can be a better Dad, you don`t have to fight with your EX to get your Daughter back but you have to win your Daughters love, I wish you the best. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 5:07pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
lannre: Why does she have to see her at your mum's place only? Why the restriction? What happened to your Ex's house? If she re-married and you don't like it, I guess you'll have to deal with it because you re-married too. You both (you and your ex) might have issues but please don't let it get in the way of your daughter's psychological and emotional growth. A child needs both parents and if your ex is not dead, why are you restricting their access to each other? Don't make your daughter hate you o. 1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by ifyalways(f): 5:40pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
U are paying for restricting ur daughter and ex meeting to ONLY ur mums house.Kids are quite sensitive and shld be be given the opportunity to make their own choices.i suggest u let her stay with her mum for now,u and ur wife can still call her up once in a while to remind her that u miss her.She wud soon get bored of her mum and come back by herself and pls after that,let her be free to visit her mum at her place. . .NO matter how bad she might be. The last time she ran away,how long did she stay?what made her come back(did u send for her b4 she came or she came of her own accord or her mum forced her to come)? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:04pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
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| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:07pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
ifyalways: what "choices" is a 6-yr old making? If you cant control your daughter now when will you do so? when she's 32? You better teach her serious discipline now, i think the girl feels alienated with her father and finds her mom's place a lot more comfortable . . . its up to the OP to rectify that. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:14pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
davidylan: He should discipline her for wanting unsupervised visits to her mother's?  1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:19pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
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| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:20pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
chaircover: same thing. substitute the age and we still have the same scenario. thanks for pointing that out though. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by ifyalways(f): 6:21pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
davidylan:what i meant by choices is,the choice of meeting with her mum at her house.what do u mean by control?u trying to say that u can stop(control) a girl from seeing her biological mum and in this case,a girl that already knows her mum?what discipline are u talking of pls?Forcing the daughter to accept that the mum is evil Now that the man have made the choice for the girl,what do we have?running away from home at random?wud it not be better if the man allows mother and child to have a very healthy relationship Till theres cause for him to do otherwise. 1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 6:22pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Restricting ? Are you saying its normal for her to see her in my place? And her mum attitude is my fear. I need a very brilliant advise,the young girl is my concern. If the majority said its ideal for her to be at her mum place,without considering her (the mother way of life-even till now) then I will be praying for both Mother and child. But I dont think its ideal for her to come to my place. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
ifyalways: all that is beside the point. The daughter running away from home is indicative she has very little discipline . . . i will not condone unruly behaviour from my child even if he/she ran away to greet God in the next street. If she wanted to meet her mom there is a more responsible channel . . . ask her father. Why put others through a harrowing 7 hrs wondering if you're ok or not? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:25pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Does her mother not have a place of her own? Whats wrong with the mother's way of life? I thought you said she re-married? Maybe you need to expatiate further. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:26pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Indiscipline? David, have you considered that there is a step mother in the picture? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:27pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: and? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:30pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
And might have been maltreated. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 6:31pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
@ spikecylinder She is married, and her husband will definitely be visiting. Was told she is married to a married person. So I dont know much about her staying |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:33pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
My point is, you need to set aside your differences with your ex wife and allow your daughter to visit her mother. 1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by ifyalways(f): 6:34pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
lannre:Lanre just be very careful cos u might in the process of trying to protect ur child u might end up making her hate u. Shes living with u,do u observe any changes in her after her visits to her mum?Assuming her mum is evil(according to u) do u think she wud not behave in front of her girl?If u have fears abt her mum,u can discuss maturedly with her and let her know shes got a big role to play in her daughters life and welfare  This girl is 13,she does not need to be influenced by her mum before she goes haywire,(mind u) if she wants to. U shld let her see her more as often as possible. Ask and talk abt her mums welfare whenever she comes back.Pretend to care,LOL .It wud make her gain more confidence in u.As long as this woman is alive,theres nothing u can do to stop ur daughter from seeing her UNLESS she decides not to. 1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by Nobody: 6:35pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: so that justifies running away every time? Dem never born that pikin well o unless she's not mine in which case that would be the last day she entered my house. spikedcylinder: This is something that the OP has to work on, obviously the girl wants to spend more time with her mother . . . its her right and to deny her that is cruel. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by JJYOU: 6:36pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
spikedcylinder:it would be nice to know how a young girl ended up staying with the dad in the first place 1 Like |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:41pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
davidylan: I don't blame your aje butter ass. If you see real suffering, you will run faster than your legs can carry you.  |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 6:46pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
JJYOU: Thats a long story she was carried away with fornication ,so she never bother to think about the girl until now, I dont know her mission,learnt she was at my place last Wednesday ransacked and search for only Gods know what. I dont even know what she want again. She is just making life miserable, I have lots on my head. I pity the young girl. I know she has nothing to offer her. I know better. That is why I am avoiding serious contact until the girl is in the University then she will be a little mature to hear me well. I am not the one to tell her who her mother is,her attitude is enough. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by spikedcylinder: 6:49pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Dude is not even ready to listen. You'll come back to tell tales of how you can't find your daughter anymore because your ex wife absconded with her and her new husband! |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by ifyalways(f): 6:55pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
@OP,From every indication,it seems shes running away cos u wont allow her to go see her mum However,If she comes back from this awol,sit her down and talk with her,let her know u wont tolerate her running away from home at random,shes got to take ur permission and inform u whenver she wants to go see her mum and pls allow her to go.That said,u can hate/dislike the woman till eternity,it wont change the fact that shes the mother of ur daughter.  @Spikey,lol,thats possible oo. |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by JJYOU: 7:00pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
lannre:thread carefullly. are there not people around you that can help you sort this out? you dont have to stress yourself too much she is with her mum not her enemy. do you have other kids apart from her? ifyalways:do you think this guy deserve any praise for doing his best for his daughter in a society where most men walk away without consequences? he is not trying to fight the woman but protect his flesh and blood which is right. must everything on NL take gender line? |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by lannre(m): 7:05pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
still reading comments. I really appreciate every submission, even those who feel otherwise. I am learning fast from all submission. Thanks. I still welcome more advise. I still want to know if it is ideal for her to see her daughter at my place whenever she feels,and why did she come to my place when we are not home,she ransacked everywhere last Wednesday. I dont know her mission. To be sincere I cant stop her from seeing her mum. (please note that) |
| Re: My Daughter Ran Away From Home by ifyalways(f): 7:07pm On Jun 14, 2009 |
Praise him for raising his OWN child Hes tried but he shld be careful still.Everything hes done for the girl can be brought to nothing if he does not handle this well.How possible is it to protect una word a child from her own biological mum?a 13 yr old girl too.I expire here anyway b4 u come up with ur gender trashing line |
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