I started dating her far back 1998, we so much love each other. She got pregnant for me year 2000 and I was called by her family, which I accepted the pregnancy and told my family about it and the two families met and it was accepted that part of her dowry will be paid before she deliver the baby.

Just 3days after the meeting I was called by her family again that the pregnancy is no more, which the family themselves accused her of aborting it and handed her over to me that I should take any action I against her because she has disgrace their family.

I went and told my family about the what I was called for. They were not happy and my grandfather who was alive then warned to stay off her ways from that moment or I regret in future.  And she was also warned not to be seen with me again since the pregnancy that join us is no more. So we parted ways despite the love we have for each other.

Two years later I was employed and posted to another state, we lose contact as phones were not yet available for calls then. I do visit home once a year and that was during Christmas. Sometimes we see from afar and wave as we r been warned to quit.

I met a lady I was dating in the new state I was posted and we started planning to get married year 2007. On telling my family about the wedding plans they were not in support of me marrying from that tribe which the refer me back to my former love instead of marry the lady. After my grandfather's death who warned me to stay clear.

All my effort to make them understand prove abortive. And the love I have for the first lady initially was not there again because I have move on without her thought.

When I visit home I send for the lady and she came, we gist well and before you know it we started plans leaving the other lady in darkness. As she couldn't hear from me again I kept giving her excuses since my family are not supportive of me marrying from her tribe.

During the time we were planning my mind didn't still give me to marry the lady at home because I didn't love her as I used to love her when she got pregnant for me year 2000. But I still continue with the plans believing after the marriage the initially love will come back to normal.

As the preparations goes on I send money for her dowry and some traditional rites. Her family were indecisive of who should be entitle for her dowry as her dad is late. The gave it to one of her aunt and later change decision to give to her elder brother, this bring confusion in their family and hatred ensured. Which make the aunt to lay a curse on the lady that if truly she is entitle for the dowry and was given to someone, that the lady will not have peace in that house and there will be no cry of a baby in the house.

It goes like that till five days to our wedding, when I started feeling uncomfortable about the wedding and I decided to call it off. But was persuaded by my family not to call it off that it is the handy work of enemies to see the wedding didn't hold. That I should trust God everything will be alright after the wedding.

On the wedding day all I was doing was to please the ordiance but deep inside me I was not really happy. As the wedding and reception ended 3days after we left the town together to where am working. We live like total strangers as we don't communicate freely with each other.

Two years gone no sign of pregnancy. We started going for medical checkup and we were confirm to be very OK except for the fact that my wife was asked for her womb to be wash as there were some retained product of misconception there.

After that has been done, still another year past no sign. I received a call from home that I should send my wife down to apologised to her aunt because the issue has been out that she is the one behind her not getting pregnant. She went and I was called that the issue have been settled, I even spoke with the woman she assured me no problem.

But when I travelled home for Christmas I went to visit the woman but met other grandmother who still hold her stand that the issue can't be settled because my wife's case is not the first crisis in their family. They went as far as telling me to marry someone else when am still young. A sister the the aunt went as far as meeting my mom and my uncle to tell them I should be advice to remarry.

Despite that I still bring my wife back, we hope on God to shame the enemies. All my fears is DIVORCE as the Bible didn't support it. But am dying silently because I don't have peace of mind as the love and affection between us initially wasn't there.

When my wife went for her sister's wedding some months after she stays in my mom's house for the period till she returned. When she return we had some little misunderstanding and she told me boldly that I am nothing to her, that I should call my sister to tell me the kind of men that visits her when she was in my mom's house for her sisters wedding. ( It may be seems as act of provocation) but when I called my sister she confirmed it. That my wife do tell them either her distance cousin or her classmates while in school.

I was really hurt and heartbroken and that led to our separation for three years now. Since then we don't communicate on phone and known of her family member ever called me to ask what is happening.

I decided to marry someone else and move on with my life but sometimes I feel I should settled with my wife but many questions kept me wondering if that will be am not going back to the same mistake, as

1. The love and affection is no longer there.
2. The family crisis still persist.
3. My grandfather warned me early when he was alive.

I need your candid advice please.

Follow your heart.

Hmmmmm ... this one strong o

The decision is yours alone to make!

Grandpa warned you but you didn't listen, even if your family rejected the other lady ( obviously you weren't man enough to stand your ground) couldn't you have searched for someone else? Instead you went back to a Lady who aborted your baby after agreeing to marry her

I wonder how people expect people to change after marriage knowing fully well that marriage isn't something that you can stroll in and out , why take such risk?


I'm totally against divorce but in this case I see nothing settleable in this as you guys have already been separated for 3 years and by the way divorce is not a 'sin' on the ground of infidelity.

Ur is so long

Retrogressive cultures,

Do curses work? Don't know what to say

elantraceey:
Grandpa warned you but you didn't listen, even if your family rejected the other lady ( obviously you weren't man enough to stand your ground) couldn't you have searched for someone else? Instead you went back to a Lady who aborted your baby after agreeing to marry her

I wonder how people expect people to change after marriage knowing fully well that marriage isn't something that you can stroll in and out , why take such risk?


I'm totally against divorce but in this case I see nothing settleable in this as you guys have already been separated for 3 years and by the way divorce is not a 'sin' on the ground of infidelity.

Thanks so much.

Mskrisx:
Follow your heart.

I will, thanks

PresVA:
Hmmmmm ... this one strong o

God will make it easy

Your problem is indecision.
Stick to who your heart wants. Not who you're told to be with.

Here we go again. Another Saint-and-Devilish spouse relationship.

Reading

Keep your bible away. Shove your grand father's admonition aside. Close your ears to gossip. Now sit down and ask yourself what you want. But I must add; a woman who boasts of men toasting her is not a good woman. Inferiority complex can make us do unthinkable things

Siena:


And you're too lazy. The thread starter's write-up had quite a few typographical errors, and mixed-up tenses, but it was paragraphed perfectly, and made easy reading.

You're living proof, that the best way to hide something from the average black man IS to put it in a book.

Thx 4 being so observant,one medal 4 u 'white man'

Siena:


And you're too lazy. The thread starter's write-up had quite a few typographical errors, and mixed-up tenses, but it was paragraphed perfectly, and made easy reading.

You're living proof, that the best way to hide something from the average black man IS to put it in a book.

I really hate it when people say a piece of text is too long. How did they read text books?

Siena!

Where have you been?

I hope you are the Siena from Auto section..

Don't worry, you don't know me but I am one of your silent fans....

Good to have you back...