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Moving On! - Romance - Nairaland

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Difficulty In Moving On / Moving On / Moving On After Heartbreak (2) (3) (4)

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Moving On! by izeek(m): 4:09pm On Jun 18, 2009
its one of the hardest things to do, but u have to learn to move on from that relationship that is just not working anymore.

there are several reasons why u want to still remain tied to such relationship that has caused you SO much pain already.
sometimes we tell our selves we are moving on, and still end up going back to that same friendship,
hoping for some sort of miracle or change to occur.
it never will change, cos from experience it never has.

am saying this cos of the phone call i just got recently.

i had a past i had always told myself i was gonna leave and all,
but i always went back hoping something was gonna be different everytime i went back.
somehow it just got worse and never seemed better.
the lady in question always fomented trouble and cos i was always the one making amends,
she took it as some right to stay and wait till i made the move.
a month back i decided not to call her anymore and move on.
and even though it was difficult, i threw myself into my job and worked late hours to achieve this.
then just 2weeks ago, a lawyer friend in my coy called me and told me something that finally made up my mind.

his words exactly " whenever u go back, u turnout unfocused and not knowing what you want".
why am i saying this , she just called me and started raining curse on me, that i will regret ever deciding to neglect her.
why can't some breakups just be cordial.


even though i feel bad, i know i have taken the right decision and this time for good.
Re: Moving On! by donex: 10:39pm On Jun 18, 2009
A friend of mine once wrote this to me,  I have been in an abusive relationship for three years and in those miserable years i was they one usually making amends for it to work hoping that it will change for better but ending worse than before. I have suddenly realize that moving on is the best option eventhough it is very painful but i believe it will be beneficial at the end as the pain will soon go away.

I wouldn't start blaming her for anything as she is not here to defend herself but I have just realize that i was so use to her that i cant do without her or stay a day without calling even when she messed up big time just to save my heart, well i thank God for the Courage,

The truth is that they were incompatible  So brothers and sister, though it hurt to end some relationship, but you just have to let it go cos it will save you more of the trouble
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 9:32am On Jun 19, 2009
donex:

, though it hurt to end some relationship, but you just have to let it go cos it will save you more of the trouble


i guess thats the major reason we dont ever wanna let go of that abusive relationship.

the pain of seeing that person ith some1 else, know ing he/she now shares with another,
and also having to start all over again and love some1 just as much if not more than u loved the previous.

well it could be painful, but we just have to move on.
Re: Moving On! by fizzybaba(m): 10:21am On Jun 19, 2009
IT HAPPENZ EFRIDAY

WE JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON CUZ IN MOST CASES, ONE IS WORSE OFF
Re: Moving On! by spikedcylinder: 10:32am On Jun 19, 2009
When a person loves you deeply, it is very difficult for them to accept you're leaving them. Some deal with it better than others though.
Re: Moving On! by justwise(m): 10:33am On Jun 19, 2009
izeek:


i guess thats the major reason we dont ever wanna let go of that abusive relationship.

the pain of seeing that person ith some1 else, know ing he/she now shares with another,
and also having to start all over again and love some1 just as much if not more than u loved the previous.

well it could be painful, but we just have to move on.
Yes moving on is one of the most difficult things to do. I came out from one tough rela/ship 2months ago, moving on was hell for me cos i put in my all in that rela/ship, but i finally did. First, i deleted ALL her pics on my phone and laptop, her numbers, anything that will remind me of her, never call or txt her, and it works. i don't hate her but i'm happier without her.
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 10:46am On Jun 19, 2009
@spike,
but loving one deeply does not give u license to constanly hurt the person you love.
i know for one that if ever the one i truely loves breaks down and cry in front of me cos of what am putting them tru,
i wud have a very broken heart and never get to repeat such again.

this relationship is the only one i ever cried before a lady,
and yet that same thing was hat she constantly did.

i had soo much at stake, but i had to moveon, even though i know it might mean me loosing something very dare.
i wud rather leave when my heart can heal back and love again,
than be turned into soo much hate and suspicion when the next person comes around.

@just wise,
i dont believe in deleting and erasing memories we shared,
it wasnt all bad when it lasted, there was some part that sure makes me smile when i remember.
and def she added something to me that the other person wud benefit from.
she's my past yes, but not a regretable past.
just one dat burnt and i healed from.
Re: Moving On! by biola44: 10:48am On Jun 19, 2009
i'm moving on, cool
Re: Moving On! by Ben13: 10:52am On Jun 19, 2009
It's really difficult.
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 10:53am On Jun 19, 2009
from wat to wat biola?
dark shades?
Re: Moving On! by luxoire(f): 10:53am On Jun 19, 2009
pain is good - pain means you were sincere in your affections - pain means you are still capable of relating to ppl emotionally

have you ever been in a r/ship were you split up with someone and it doesn't hurt? it just feels blunt - like its done - like it was non-existent and life goes on - makes you ever if you were ever IN the r/ship heart, body and mind  undecided
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 10:59am On Jun 19, 2009
@ben2001
its more diff than one can imagine.
all tru i never knew i wud feel this bad until i had to leave.
several times i stare at my fone and am tempted to call.
was soo bad that i had to hide my number and flash her.
just so i feel some sense of relief.

wish love doesn't have to hurt this bad.

@luxoire,
but like u said,
it only goes to show that my whole being was in that relationship.
that all tru the times when i asked my self if i really loved her?
this was confirmation enought that i dint just love her, but saw her as a greater part of my world.
am glad i loved. at least i know i am capable of that.
Re: Moving On! by luxoire(f): 11:03am On Jun 19, 2009
izeek:

@ben2001
its more diff than one can imagine.
all tru i never knew i wud feel this bad until i had to leave.
several times i stare at my fone and am tempted to call.
was soo bad that i had to hide my number and flash her.
just so i feel some sense of relief.

wish love doesn't have to hurt this bad.

@luxoire,
but like u said,
it only goes to show that my whole being was in that relationship.
that all tru the times when i asked my self if i really loved her?
this was confirmation enought that i dint just love her, but saw her as a greater part of my world.
am glad i loved. at least i know i am capable of that.

2 very true statements - some men realise late in life that they can not commit emotionally - physically they can say I DO, and be there in person, but emotionally lai lai - they will scour the streets to see what new blood it has to offer - foreever looking for the latest challenge / conquest
good for you that you know you can commit and love one woman

it may hurt hun - but it does and will get better with time
Re: Moving On! by biola44: 11:25am On Jun 19, 2009
izeek:

from wat to wat biola?
dark shades?

good 2 better, only dogs go back 2 their shit man, once i decide i'm gone!
Re: Moving On! by sexybabes(f): 11:29am On Jun 19, 2009
Moving on is the hardest thing one has to do but have to.
But what do you when you told your self that you are moving on
& even dated someone else and the person you love is coming back
to apologise and you realize you not over him? It is very difficult also
because u dnt knw & not sure about where you moving to if its not gona
be worse than the one you were at. I ges thats why pple keep on goin back.
Re: Moving On! by justwise(m): 11:37am On Jun 19, 2009
sexybabes:

Moving on is the hardest thing one has to do but have to.
But what do you when you told your self that you are moving on
& even dated someone else and the person you love is coming back
to apologise and you realize you not over him? It is very difficult also
because u dnt knw & not sure about where you moving to if its not gona
be worse than the one you were at. I ges thats why pple keep on goin back.

u got a gr8 points here, yes i moved on but i can't commit to another lady, last saturday i went for a date, everything was cool, but the moment i left her house, the whole past experience came flooding back, now i don't even want to see her again, and she doesn't want to take no for an answer. Its hard. The whole feelings i had for her is going slowly, cos i don't know if it will end well or in tears
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 12:13pm On Jun 19, 2009
@sexybabes,
u got the point right,
itswell said that the angel u know is better than the one u are about to meet .
but then again, think thisway, because u got robbed on a particular road, dont mean u dont ply that route again.
or lets say cos something bad is going by u close ur eyes and not notice the gudthings coming tru.
what am saying in essence is that, if ur relationship got sour, then u eveluate and see where u went wrong,
an see if they are things u cud live with and tolerate.


i will rather moveon and correct my past than be drawn back cos am not sure of the future.
Re: Moving On! by biola44: 12:30pm On Jun 19, 2009
sexybabes:

Moving on is the hardest thing one has to do but have to.
But what do you when you told your self that you are moving on
& even dated someone else and the person you love is coming back
to apologise and you realize you not over him? It is very difficult also
because u dnt knw & not sure about where you moving to if its not gona
be worse than the one you were at. I ges thats why pple keep on goin back.

check n balance comes 2 play,
Re: Moving On! by iice(f): 3:27pm On Jun 19, 2009
luxoire:

pain is good - pain means you were sincere in your affections - pain means you are still capable of relating to ppl emotionally

have you ever been in a r/ship were you split up with someone and it doesn't hurt? it just feels blunt - like its done - like it was non-existent and life goes on - makes you ever if you were ever IN the r/ship heart, body and mind  undecided

Well said wink

Like spike said, it's easier for some, harder for others.
I see it as a decision and sticking to it.
Re: Moving On! by luxoire(f): 3:29pm On Jun 19, 2009
iice:

Well said wink

Like spike said, it's easier for some, harder for others.
I see it as a decision and sticking to it.

thank you mah cheesy
Re: Moving On! by donex: 4:01pm On Jun 19, 2009
Cherish things while you still have them, before they're gone, and you realize how precious they really are. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry because it won't last forever either. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and never cross a bridge without knowing how to swim the tides. If you could not add years to your life Add life to your years


I belive in one theory and that is: If you are jiltted by someone you love for whatever reason, that person will for sure one day return to apologies be it long or short cos the law of Gamma will surelly caught up with them, The apology will then depend on you weather to accep it on not, Those that refuses to return usually end up dieing in silence,
Re: Moving On! by Diva1(f): 4:52pm On Jun 19, 2009
luxoire:

pain is good - pain means you were sincere in your affections - pain means you are still capable of relating to ppl emotionally

have you ever been in a r/ship were you split up with someone and it doesn't hurt? it just feels blunt - like its done - like it was non-existent and life goes on - makes you ever if you were ever IN the r/ship heart, body and mind undecided

That's right.
Re: Moving On! by izeek(m): 5:00pm On Jun 19, 2009
boy do i know how that pain feels.
u tell urself to stop feeling down, but u just cant bring urself to lighten up.

i have had to pour myself into my work just to forget the issues, but believe me ,nothing acts as a substitue for the pain.

like some1 said earlier,
let the pain, its sign u loved and almost if not got loved in return.
Re: Moving On! by Diva1(f): 5:07pm On Jun 19, 2009
izeek:

boy do i know how that pain feels.
u tell urself to stop feeling down, but u just cant bring urself to lighten up.

i have had to pour myself into my work just to forget the issues, but believe me ,nothing acts as a substitue for the pain.

like some1 said earlier,
let the pain, its sign u loved and almost if not got loved in return.

It is very understandable 'cause I'm there too, even if you know the relationship is as good as bad and worthless, it's still hard to accept it and in this case not because of low self esteem or no self value but just because you LOVED this person.
Re: Moving On! by peelovee(f): 5:14pm On Jun 19, 2009
iice:

Well said wink

Like spike said, it's easier for some, harder for others.
I see it as a decision and sticking to it.

undecided na true you dey talk, we just have to pass through love and it good and bad aspect, but not allowing love to pass through us. it really hurt when you are a vitim of it. undecided
Re: Moving On! by Kamsonwill(m): 5:17pm On Jun 19, 2009
Diva1:

It is very understandable 'cause I'm there too, even if you know the relationship is as good as bad and worthless, it's still hard to accept it and in this case not because of low self esteem or no self value but just because you LOVED this person.

U r very beautiful and there r a lot of men that would be dying to have and keep you. If you don't mind, where in the US r u located? and if u don't mind me getting your email add. Would appreciate it.

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