Stats: 3,191,608 members, 7,944,804 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 September 2024 at 04:35 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / How To Win The Headies Award (918 Views)
Memory Lane: You Can't Win The Biggest Balloon / Hilarious: When You Win The Lottery And She Keep Saying We Won (2) (3) (4)
(1) (Reply)
How To Win The Headies Award by jimmyolasun: 4:33pm On Jan 12, 2016 |
[/color][color=#770077]The Hip Hop World Awards, better known as The Headies, have come and gone. Rife with controversy, Drama, unforgettable and forgettable moments alike, this years edition will be remembered for a long time by different people, for different reasons – good and bad alike. However, one thing was clear. The Blueprint for winning a Headie was finally made bare for all to see. It’s quite the blueprint, to be honest. We present to you, our esteemed readers, An Easy and Foolproof Step by step guide to scoring big at the Headies. 1. Have a large crew or If you can’t afford one, at least be signed to a strong record label Make sure you have a strong crew of people who know people that knkw other people. It is more advantageous to have a crew leader with a deep baritone (intimidating,actually ) voice and something like "Boss", "Don" or "Father" attached to his name. (Nah,it is not who you think it is). *winks* 2. Get an Endorsement with a big conglomerate Land a mouth-watering deal with a telecomscompany and you're on your way. Straight up! 3. Make a song about jealousy and haters and people trying to ‘bring you down’ Now,this is is the thing. Sing about someone eyeing your new SUV or your Lekki house and you're an inch closer to getting that award. (Don't forget to add "oshaaay baddest" at the end). 4. Do NOT (I repeat, Do Not) invent a dance step. (In Falz's voice) Plix,plix and plix. Don't hinvent a dance stepping. It won't help. It's a precious waste of energy instead. (Share rechargeable card on Twitter instead) 5. Make sure you have a Don in your crew. If you don’t have one, anyone with ‘-do’ in his name will do. Like Bad-DO. See? This cannot just be over-emphasized. YOU NEED A DON IN YOUR CREW. (Incase they start beefing you). You need a Don whose connections can push you. Get it? 6. Arrive at the venue at the last minute, just as the winner in your category is about to be announced We're almost there. You have to arrive very very late. Like a boss. Make sure you look smashing and show off your new shoes that cost you a fortune. 7. Do not build a fan base on streets. Street people tend to be all talk and no votes, You should instead consider sharing money on the Social Media. Always helps. This is very very important. You'll need votes. Don't build a fan base of Agberos, Danfo Drivers and Paraga sellers. They won't vote for you. Have a fan base of people who use good smartphones and don't forget to have a fan page on Instagram with a catchy name for your followers... Want to win the Headies next year? Don't stray from this guide...and you can also add a few ..check below 8. Wink. Wink A LOT. And maybe get some Jerry Curls (this is optional) 9. Perform to an empty hall. You’ll get a Pity Headie. Guaranteed. 10. Finally, if you must wear an Agbada, PLEASE do not wear a black one. If you must wear a BLACK AGBADA, do not top it off with a Bowler Hat. AND IF YOU MUST TOP THE BLACK AGBADA OFF WITH A BOWLER HAT, DO NOT SAY THE WORDS Skiborobo Skibo Skibaraba Skiba. Trust me on this one. 1 Like |
(1) (Reply)
Funny Phone Advert (pic) / Only In Naija / Bank Credit Alert
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 12 |