This kind of thing happens all the time. It’s practically a right of passage for a young man. The movie “When Harry Met Sally” made a pretty convincing case study for the whole “men and women can’t be just friends” argument; they’re always going to end up in the sack or broken up.

I personally don’t agree with the severity of this theory in the slightest. A friendship between men and women is totally possible; it just takes more communication and clearer boundaries to keep it in line.

But it certainly is natural for a man to fall in love with his best friend. If a man finds his female friend attractive, he will always be curious about taking it to the next level. It just makes sense; you care for her, you love being with her and you’re attracted to her.

While a girl can be satisfied with this and this alone, a man will automatically think, “Wouldn’t it be great if we could be romantic too?” Every time she tells you she misses you, she means it. But unlike you, a woman can miss and adore you and NOT want something more.




This is a classic misunderstanding between the genders. You might see every time she touches you as an invitation for more touching. She may feel that putting her head on your shoulder is as innocent as a smile.

The danger of being a woman and being affectionate with a man is that he may see it as her “leading him on” or “being a tease.” As long as you understand that she does all this innocently and because she trusts you, you can avoid the usual anger and resentment that men tend to feel in the face of a “tease.”

It’s important to not have any anger or resentment in your heart when and if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Because it’s not like you made a deal and she fell short. She never promised you anything more than to be your friend.


To tell her or not to tell her?

I must break some news. There is no way you can get over someone when you still have hope that they might come around. So, I suggest that you enlighten her with your feelings and face the results, whatever they might be.

Let me settle your stomach by letting you know that you are NOT risking everything. In fact, my best friend made a move on me once and while it was extremely awkward for about two weeks, once the boundaries of our friendship were re-established it went right back to normal. Today we are closer than ever.

While I love, respect and adore him, I do not recommend you follow directly in his footsteps. Rather than go in for an uninvited kiss, try talking to her about your feelings. First establish that you have no expectations of her to reciprocate your feelings. With no pressure over her head she is more likely to listen to you with an open heart.


Confession of love script

Tell her:
“I care about you deeply. Being with you in any way makes me happy. I can’t deny that I’ve developed romantic feelings for you and I want to be your boyfriend. I know you have a man already and I support you completely. I love being your best friend and I just needed to let you know.”

You have put no pressure on her and yet by being so heartfelt you have invited her to open up about her feelings as well. She may tell you that she looks at you like a brother or that she’s happy in her current relationship. But know that you have planted a seed that may very well grow into something special later on.

It takes some serious balls to do what I’m suggesting but I promise you that you will feel lighter and happier once you’ve confronted this. It may be because she reciprocates your feelings and has been waiting for you to make your move. Or it may be because you finally get your answer and you can move on.




By letting go of your hope, don’t be surprised if you let go of a few things in your friendship too.

For example: instead of talking to her for hours on the phone, you may start to focus your game on a new girl who piques your interest.

The friendship will not suffer but it may change as you begin to have new priorities.

You say you have one more year of school left like it’s some kind of deadline. It’s not. Boyfriends and girlfriends will melt into your past and be forgotten. But best friends stick around forever, no matter how much distance and time you’ve spent apart.

With love,
Savage Garden

More practical inputs are most welcome.

Yep

yes...but this is too long

yes na!

Maybe

Yes No

Yes, yes.

Am tired of all this love this, love that

Yes just friends(as u said) not close friends or best friends. Its easier if the girl already has her fiancee...that will keep her attention off you and you off her. Its also easier if the guy doesn't have a fiancee yet bcus when he does, his fiancee will suspiciously give him reasons to stay off his female friend. Any otherwise will bring complications along.

If she doesn't have a fiancee yet, attractions will set in esp if he's rich or from a rich home. If he's poor she'll keep him distant and he may feel humiliated. Even if there's no reason for anything to exist btwn them, a time will still come after a long while that something will happen according to feeling. If you confide in her-wahala. If she confide in you and u're always there-wahala. If u spend time talking together often-wahala.

The best is to be just/distant friend and give room for mutual respect to each other.

why not

If that guy is given a good opportunity to bang his “best friend“(a girl).....trust me he wont relent

Its impossible to just be friends with a girl

Yes it's very possible. Celebrated a 20th Friendaversary with mine back in 2014. #NoHardFeelings

why not..with benefits tho