“Hello, Hello, this is Sokoto calling. Is that
Katsina?”
“Yes, Katsina here , barka da. Can I help you?”
“It’s about my son. You know him, the one you
are holding...”
“Me? Holding your son? I can’t understand. I
hope you are not saying I’m a kidnapper? Or
that I am dandaodu? That is not my lot.
“No. Hemm...I’m talking about the one in your
trouble...
“Abeg leave me alone o, Alhaji. I’m not holding
anyone. Walahi I am just doing my own job my
own way. See my hands...”
“Ah, Alhaji. How can you say you are not
holding anyone even when the whole world
knows he is in your cell. And we are even
supposed to be in-laws. If you are treating your
own in-law like this I wonder what outsiders
would get...”
“Listen. We are in-laws, yes. But you have not
told me this your matter is a matrimonial
matter. Or is it? I can’t understand why you are
mixing Tuwo masara with Tuwo shinkafa. If you
wan maize, eat maize, if na rice, abeg, go for
rice. I can’t see any nexus between being my in
law and the issue at stake...”
“Alhaji, I’m not saying you are a difficult man.
What I’m saying is that the reason we have you
there is to do us favours. We all danced the day
you were elected. But don’t you think it is
unthinkable that our own son is the one doing
this to his own brother? If the singlet boys so
loved and gave this boy so much powers why
should it be you - of all people - to put him
down? Why? ...
“I’m I really holding your son or your son is
holding himself? Ask him if he is not guilty of
the sins killing him now? Ask him. You are
asked to look after a hundred heads of cattle by
the village and one by one the whole lot
disappeared into the dark backyard of powerful
chiefs. Who do we hold, you or who? Answer
me?
“Hmmmmm...you know he was just a
messenger.”
“Hmmmmm is not the answer to my question.
Now, if the village gets enraged and now takes
you to the market square, does it lie in your
mouth to say the village head asked you to
donate village cows to the big men? The person
caught with the head is the one who cut it. That
is the logic here...”
“If that is the logic, then holding my boy is
illogic. You didn’t catch him with the head. You
trailed the blood to the big men’s bedrooms
where the head was found kept in their deep
freezer. I don’t even know whether those
cannibals used juju for that boy. How can you
distribute free meat without putting at least
one in your own mouth? All the noise we’ve
been hearing does not say he kept even one
cow for himself. They all went to the witches
and wizards ...”
“I thought witches were females?”
“Yes. You wan marry one...?
“Are they looking for me? Your boy didn’t give
anything to anyone in skirt or wrapper. Na
men’s man or maybe he is even a wizard sef.”
“If he was one he would take care of himself.
None of these succulent pieces of meat is in his
mouth. That should convince you that he is not
a thief...”
“Wait. Wait. What did you just say? Is it every
man that chews meat before swallowing? For
some, you won’t even see their fingers there. It
will just land in their stomachs gbammm. You
need a very powerful telescope to detect it...”
“Ah haa! You don come o. How do you eat meat
without using your fingers. Even if you use fork
‘n’ knife you will still hold them with your
fingers...”
“Alhajiii, but you can use other people’s fingers
na”
“Allah Sarki! Gaskiya. Is that what my boy did?”
“Noo. I haven’t said so. It will be too early to
say that. We are still investigating.”
“Still investigating after convicting him in the
market square. There is God and he will judge
every one of us.”
“You are angry, Alhaji.”
“Angry? No. I’m just surprised you are this
difficult. Don’t you know that this village is not
as good as you are taking it. Even if you
sacrifice your mother for them, they will still
betray you. That is why you must never kill
your brother to please the rabble. They are not
your people. They are no one’s. They belong to
everyone in power. Think!”
“Meanwhile, how is Hajia?”
“Which Hajia? The one you are denying the
warmth of her husband or the one you are
holding her son.”
“Whichever. I expect you to understand. If it is
what I could help, I would. But this one is ...”
“Is what? You are just wicked. We thought you
had changed...very sad.”
“Now, listen Alhaji. Put yourself in my
situation. You are the driver of a vehicle and
the passengers say their lives are in your hand.
Won’t you do things that would make them
safe?”
“And is looking forever at the rear view mirror
a safety measure? Any driver that is glued to
the mirror will kill his passengers, walahi. Stop
looking at the past, face the future. That is
where the passengers paid you to take them
to.”
“Really? But looking at the past is looking
forward, you don’t think so? If you don’t take
care of the past, the future is doomed.”
“Henhennn! For you, looking at the side view
mirrors (whether concave or convex) is the
same as looking at the windscreen? Toor. Allah
ki ya ye. God will grant you safe journey.
“Concave or convex? Meaning?”
“Sorry, I forgot Katsina didn’t have a physics
teacher during your time. Sorry.”
“Are you sure you are not wasting your airtime
too much...this conversation is getting rather
too long. Can we call it a day? It is even time
for salat.”
“Toor. Remember to say astagfrullah as you say
your prayers because as a believer, you are
supposed to listen to your elder, but see how
you have treated me today.”
“Well...goodnight Alhaji.” Source: www.tribuneonlineng.com/telephone-conversation-sokoto-calls-katsina |
