Happiness is a concept greatly sought after by all. For some it is that bird that always seems to fly off as soon as they are near to grabbing it by its tail. For others, it is an ever present companion, whether real or imagined. We grew up reading stories of people who travel long distances through dangerous terrains in order to meet a wise old man to ask him just one question.’ What is the secret of happiness?’ I honestly can’t remember most answers ever given, but I remember most of the travelers going back in confusion and disappointment. Why?

Do you know the secret of happiness? Many would hope it’s in performing some difficult arithmetic calculation, in a special act of service or even in holding on to a special belief or ideology. I dare say the answer could be neither of them, one of them, or even a combination of all of them. It really does DEPEND. It’s not a simple mixture that everyone can drink and get the same healing to the same illness. Your secret to happiness may well not be my secret to happiness. It’s essentially and truly in YOU.

What ideas, thoughts, beliefs, principles and acts do you hold dear? What are your values? Your values define who you are and who you like to be. Back in school, I used to spend my afternoons lying on my bed in silence, meditating and planning my semester. I essentially did that everyday, and the experience was usually lifting, no matter what I was going through at that time. I also remember a semester I found the academic work load so much I could not make out that afternoon-time any longer. I felt a bit disorganized and unhappy and I knew it was from my new lifestyle. I was going against my value. If you love giving and helping people in need and someday someone approaches you begging for some money to feed for the day. You have money on you, but you decided not to part with it. As soon as that person leaves and is almost getting out of sight, you feel a pinch in your stomach and feel like running after him/her to hand out some cash. Why? You suddenly become unhappy with yourself because you have gone against your values. You have in effect, offended yourself.

DEEP THINKING: Why do some people claim that they grew up in poor but happy homes, while some others say they had all they needed materially, but had unhappy childhoods?

Develop good values and don’t go against them. If you do, you’d be offending yourself and be unhappy.