I've heard hundreds, maybe thousands, of men
talk about this exact perception of a woman, and
how they fear being with a woman who they think
will act this way with them on a regular basis.

In fact, this fear is so great in most men,
and they want to avoid being around this kind of
thing with a woman, that when they see it even
once, that's it.

Yeah, I know, it's immature, selfish and
not fair on one level, but it's the reality of
the situation that lots of women end up in with
men.

So how do you avoid this if you still want
to express your FEELINGS?

I'll tell you how in THREE EASY STEPS.


Step 1) Just Like A Man Needs To Understand
You, You Need To Understand What's Going On
Inside The Mind Of A Man,

Let me tell it to you straight, as a man.

Women secretly believe that their connection
with a man will "naturally" turn into something
deeper without any communication taking place.

Kind of like it's the unspoken truth about
what's going on.

Honestly, this isn't how it works for us men.

If you're "assuming" you have a relationship,
and that he feels like you do, you're wrong.

Men don't assume that a connection, being
together, spending quality time and all the rest
means they're in a committed relationship.

Some men do, but not most.

For a man to know he's in a committed
relationship, and understand the things YOU
want in that relationship, YOU have to
communicate with him in CLEAR AND DIRECT
terms.

Yeah, that's right, You have to put
yourself out there and be vulnerable.

Scary!

But I hear lots of women think that other
women are just lucky to have found such a
great guy where everything just "falls into
place" since it's meant to be.

And while there are some men who are more
equipped and ready for a healthy situation
with a woman, it's NOT luck that women in great
relationships have found a way to COMMUNICATE
with their guy.

In other words, they've taken time to find
the right information, and to learn to integrate
a certain way of communicating with a man into
their relationship.

It's not easy, but there is a quick way to
do it.

Keep reading,


Step 2) You Need To Understand What Causes You
To Make "The Big Mistake"

EVERYONE wants to have THEIR needs met first.
It's basic human nature.

But being able to delay your gratification
is an AMAZING thing to develop in your life.
(in every part of your life!)

Most people (men and women) want to talk, talk,
talk about what THEY think and what THEY want.

The root of this problem basically boils down
to needs that are unmet.

So making "The Big Mistake" is really all
about being driven by your unmet needs and
desires and solely focusing on what YOU want the
relationship to be, without honestly and
critically considering the man's perspective, his
emotional state, his commuication skills (or the
lack thereod), and where he's coming from at
the same time.

When you do this with a man, you are
subconsciously telling him that you're more
interested in your feelings and what YOU want
than you are in his feelings and what he wants.

And men can read and pick up on women who do
this INSTANTLY.

I see a form of this "Big Mistake" communication
all the time in business too, by the way.

Some business professionals are the worst
at this self-absorbed "need" oriented
communication.

Like when someone calls me who wants to
get something from me or sell me something and
they're not very experienced or polished at it.

The first thing I pick up on is their selfish
agenda, and it instantly puts me on the
defensive.

But if they've done their "homework" on me
and understand at least something about MY NEEDS
and what I'm looking for, instead of what THEY
WANT from me, then when they talk it changes
everything.

The second I hear that they've thought about
what I want and know how to help me get it, they
immediately become someone of value.

Someone I will listen to.

It's very simple, but extremely powerful.

So let's take this concept directly back to
communicating with men.

It might sound cliche', but you've got to
learn to listen and understand where's he's
at and where's he's coming from.

This cliche' is a around for a reason.

It works.

Patience, empathy and understanding are the
first steps towards creating the relationship
you dream about.

But you've got to be careful to not become
the woman who gives him EVERYTHING and gets
walked on.

Use your common sense and intuition to
safeguard yourself - I know that your female
perceptive abilities aren't used nearly enough,
so put these strong tools to good use.


Step 3) How To Avoid Making The Big Mistake

Let me give you a vital piece of information
when dealing with men,

Men are CLUELESS when it comes to identifying
the things that are "obvious" to women in dating
and relationships.

I would know. It's taken me ten years to
begin to understand these things for myself -
and I spend a LOT of time thinking about it.

Sorry though, I'm "spoken for",
(Oh Please, get over yourself Phillips!!)

Ok, enough self-indulgent humor, back to you.

So we know men are AWFUL at initiating and
participating in conversations about deep
emotionsand relationships.

Sorry to break the bad news, but it's almost
always up to you to make this communication
happen.

It's important to remember to approach the
entire conversation from the perspective of
talking about what you want AND what he wants.

If you can make a guy feel like you put his
feelings and needs a priority in this
conversation, and always consider what he
wants, I promise he will LOVE YOU for it!

There's no rule that says you can't consider
another persons opinions and feelings first in
order to get what you want.

In fact, a key goal in negotiating is to let
the other person talk first.

When you get to listen first, you ALWAYS have
the advantage. You know exactly what the other
person wants, and knowledge is influence and
power.

I'm not saying you need to take on hard-core
negotiating here with a man, but some of the
same rules and principles about people and
psychology apply.

When you talk to a man from a positive place
of listening first, he will be 10,000 times
more receptive to what you have to say and what
you want once you bring it up than if you
approach him from a place of feeling hurt,
communicate need and projecting fear and anxiety.

Try this instead,

Ask a positive question or give a positive
statement such as, "Honey, I was thinking today
that I was happy to be with you."

It might sound submissive, corny or
difficult to say to someone you're having a
tough time with, but think about it,

If you're going through all the trouble to
worry so much about the future with this person,
this is already what you're thinking.

You might want to check out what could be
the best collection anywhere of ideas, strategies,
insights and research on the subject of how to
avoid the Big Mistake, and how to make sure great
things happens when the right man comes along.

take care i believe the three steps will help you out
my regards
Phillips