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This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by rosalieene(f): 7:25pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
I was in traffic along Iyana Ipaja and I saw a
pawpaw hawker
offload his pawpaw, walked over to one side of
the road, pulled down his zipper, brought out this
wiwi and began scattering urine on the concrete.
He didn’t even care that it was daylight and
people were passing. I was seated by the
window and I could see his thing in full view.
What infuriated me was the manner he held it as
though he was potty training. The urine had
rolled towards his fingers and was dripping from
his thumb. When he had relieved himself, he
shook it a few times as tiny droplets splattered
on his trousers before he picked up his tray of
freshly peeled pawpaw from the road.
My microscopic eyes were still on him when our
vehicle started to move as soon as the traffic
gave way. Another vehicle maneuvered to where
we once parked and an unsuspecting lady in the
front seat called the hawker for pawpaw. I slowly
turned away. I went with a friend to buy food one
morning and beside where the food was, a
woman was brushing her teeth vigorously and
making those ‘crogggggg crogggg’ noise. That
froggy noise of trying to gag mucus from the pit
of
the belly. I was so disgusted!
I took the hand of my friend and grabbed the
food flask and ran as fast as my legs could carry
me. The dirty woman was holding her brush in
one hand with
toothpaste foam that had formed moustache and
beards, shouting.
“hey! Make una come back na” Because what
she was doing was perfectly normal to her &
after all, we were the ones who wanted N250
rice, not her. I don’t even want to go into details
of market women that will be selling ewedu in a
stainless pot and beneath the table, their
kids/toddlers are shitting ewedu on the floor. And
they think it's cute!!! Because both colours
match. There is also an aboki next door that
makes bread and egg every morning.
6:45am, you would see him putting one hand on
the waist and using the other hand to scratch his
penis like recharge card. 6:50am, he is beating
an egg for an unsuspecting customer. You’ll ask
for only salt and pepper in your fried egg but end
up getting fried eggs with spices like a drop of
sperm, dried urine and one or two strands pubic
hair. I wasn’t surprised when I heard someone
purge for two days after having his bread and
egg. It’s now a crime to eat bread and egg
outside. Common 'agege bread'.
My brother has sworn never to buy sachet fanice
yoghurt/ice-
cream ever since he saw an aboki using same
scissors he uses to cut the tip of the icecream
to shave
his beards under a mango tree. Probably the
same scissors he uses to trim armpit hair. And
he thinks it’s okay.
Well, unlike my brother, I don’t have the
willpower to stop patronising them Cos N100
fanice is my on-the-go-icecream, until coldstone
Ice-Cream or sweet kiwi yoghurt is slashed to
N200 per cup.
I am patiently waiting.
These are my most recent encounters with food
vendors and road side hawkers. Eighty percent of
the time, Some of us eat out (for personal &
complicated reasons) And it's not Eko Hotel
Buffet, KFC, Chicken Republic or Sweet
Sensation cos we don’t wanna end up washing
Eko Hotel toilet after eating. So we cut
Our coats according to our size and go for the
Iya Basira at our backyards and it’s frightening
we would never know what goes on among these
food vendors behind closed doors.
“Stir the jollof rice oh, add five spoons of thyme,
add pepper, add one basin of well water, add the
meat from yesterday’s gbegiri, add three cubes
of white maggi, one cube of knorr, oya add two
spoons of lassa fever…”
Pause!!!!!!
Every year a lot of money is spent on Food
poisoning. # Let 'sLiveRightly.. # ProtectYourStom
ach !!..
Keep enjoying ur day! 2 Likes |
Re: This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by Cutehector(m): 7:32pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
Chei op u can lie, I thought it was naijasinglegirl d saw dat in iyana ipaja.. Chei.. |
Re: This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by shadowbender: 7:35pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
lmao...hilarious article..nice one thou |
Re: This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by kunlesufyan(m): 7:44pm On Jan 30, 2016 |
Lmao!!!truth is there's hardly any way one can know the restaurant that's super clean..but its better goes to those that try their best as regards hygeine . |
Re: This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by Naijasinglegirl: 1:48pm On Feb 02, 2016 |
*sigh* Maybe she's a ghost. Cutehector: |
Re: This Is How Food Poisoning Starts.. by Gboliwe: 3:38am On Feb 06, 2016 |
Rosalieene, why have you deserted your own thread? Shame on you and every other dumb head out there whose job is to steal other people's intellectual/literary work. If you can't acknowledge a writer, then task your brain/intellect. |
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