Ladies and money.

I cant advice you because i know you still need his money since you have not graduated.

A similar scenario, one lady i know will still collect all the guys money and cheat on him.

WE NEED INDEPENDENT MINDED WOMEN.

Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

Like ur name wants to sound, I hope you're not a simpleton.

Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.

This babe's story shows the babe is a confused babe lol which most Nigerian girls seem to be. This girl is beautiful and thinks getting by on her beauty will take her somewhere smh. However, I don't blame the lady, I blame the stupid man who has picked up this lady's expenses tab as if he is her father expecting the Lady to love him because he is paying all her expenses tab mstchew

Emac34:
are u guys expecting me to believe this

that's what most of your fellow men are capable of doing....... Believe me I have seen worse one than this

Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

my dear, believe me I understand you more than you even think because my own said man was worst than what you just described there. This one beats me and even threatened me to deal with me because he was an ex capon, but I tell you, follow your heart for he will do no shit......... For the fact that he's having a child which he never told you is a better reason to quit the rlship...... If he didn't love the girl (baby mama) why did he woo or sleep with her in the first place..... Mtcheeee. Story

daretodiffer:


You have a right to be angry.

He did a lot for you financially, you have to appreciate him for that but you do not have to throw away your life or live in misery because of it.

The fact that he is hanging it on your neck before marriage means he is definitely going to abuse you emotionally after marriage.


Whichever way you choose, we do not have his own side of the story and I hope you are not saying this to get out of the contract.

the lady may not have added anything to the story.... Some guys are worst than what she just posted up there...... And the guy may later be abusing her physically because he will be thinking he's her God

Malakh:
why you so self-centered, what does having a child by another woman means he doesn't love you, some of you women can be really dumb, haven't you heard of concubines

if this lady were your sister, would you have wholeheartedly said this to her Haba!!!!

You'd better marry him. He has paid your bride price already. All the school fees and pocket money you've been enjoying... What did you think it was? Lottery?

So you had no problem collecting school fees and gifts from a man you never loved? You even agreed to date him and got engaged all because of money. See women o. Now you found out he has a child and you want to run. Lol. You must be joking.

All these babes who scam guys sef. Una go vomit the money.

If you want to go, kindly refund the money you collected.

All these girls are just like yahoo boys. Scamming men upandan.

ninjatoyta87:
Ur own don finish,if u know wetin better 4 uy find all I'm money give am, he will cop u raw

he cant do anything..... Was getting another lady pregnant part of their agreement Let him go and marry his baby mama..... If he doesn't want to eat, he wouldn't have tasted it
What an animal of a man he is

malele:


I don't have problem with him impregnating another girl, we're the problem is his threaten u. That kind of man will abuse u in marriage
LEAVE THAT MAD MAN FAST.
But if he is a spiritualist ur life might be in danger. If u got money pay him back. But pls don't marry that mad man

if he's a spiritualist, the girl should also turn a spiritualist because bringing another woman child into their marriage was never part of the agreement.... Now he's having a woman with a baby, he should go and marry the woman or who does he want to leave her for?

Your fiancee is suffering from lasssa nd ebola fever soo bcus he paid ur fees he is now a demi god too you abeg mk dt guy go look bush he is too egoistic nd self centered too walk down the aisle with.

numericalguy:
I dont beleive this useless, evil OP is telling us the complete story. I can bet she has another guy is in her life that she's not telling us.



I pray someone does worse to you and also waste your time like you did the guy.

the guy didn't waste his time, instead, hr got himself another woman to have baby for him..... Who does he want to marry that one he has put in motherly way + he's not even taking care of the child. Haba!

I wonder y u r still asking questions wen u already hav d ans in ur hands... except u r not telling us d truth abi u like d guy I no see any reason y u neva troway d guy....

daretodiffer:


To marry a man that is threatening her?


Where is your sense?

My sense dey inside your stinking pussy!Now if you read what I wrote up there you will get to know it is sensible a bit.The guy was threatening her because he felt he did some things for her..the question is:why allow him pay her school fees when she knows she didn't love him?
Ps-stop quoting me you idiot!

olac21:


My sense dey inside your stinking pussy!Now if you read what I wrote up there you will get to know it is sensible a bit.The guy was threatening her because he felt he did some things for her..the question is:why allow him pay her school fees when she knows she didn't love him?
Ps-stop quoting me you idiot!

And so? He is too young to know that paying for your girl's school fees or your man's school fees does not mean shit. Whatever he has done is charity. He does not have aright to treat her like a second class because he paid her tuition fees. Do you think she would have relied on him if she had capable parents?

This guy fvcking cheated and had a child outside yet he isn't remorseful about it. Sooner or later, he will graduate to domestic abuse because he paid for her school fees.

I hope you remember tonight if someone treats you less than a human being because of an assistance he/she rendered to you.

AreaFada2:


Love is totally out of this. She doesn't love him either. And you think he didn't feel it?
Not trying to blame OP, but that lack of love could have partly driven him to seek it outside.

Fact is most relationships are now based on mutual benefit than love.

In fact there are more men who love their wives than women who love their husbands. The reason is simple.

On the average men have more economic power. More women marry because of wealth than men who marry because of wealth.
On the long run, many find out that money is not enough for happiness.

Clearly, this loveless relationship might never have happened or lasted this long if the guy didn't foot the bills.

True.


Hardly you see any conjugation that is not based on mutal benefit. And when that is gone/finished, the relationship will wreak.



Just like the homily I heard today; we all misuse the word "love".

We shld love out of nothing and for nothing. With all out hearts. "Making sacrifices is not always an act of love"

Op, the greatest mistake U made was allowing him to sponsor your education and take care of tour needs when U don't love him.. cause if U love him, U could place a blind eye on the woman he impregnated and try work things out between both of U..
A man who spends a fortune or more money than usual, always go an extra mile to get what he wants from his girl or maime her any destructive way possible or can even kill her.
Accepting gifts or.money from a man U won't end up satisfying his needs, it's like accepting a gift from the Devil.. and we all know devil has no free gifts.
Its either U protect yourself spiritually and make sure he forgets about U and everything he spents on U through spiritual means or U have no choice but to marry him...
Not getting married to him spells doom, if he doesn't kill U... he will hunt U for the rest of your life.. so choose.. between been the Hunted or you turn into the Hunter.. survival of the fittest is your case o....time to set things straight.
U r in the middle.of a warfare as we speak.

If only you had rejected his help way back...if only

Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

Are u saying he is buying u like a slave?cos thats what it seems...marrying someone because he paid some money 4ur schooling or wateva,wat sch is that btw?if he threatens u go to naptip wt evidence...dnt say he is helping out wt ur educ if marrying him is d condition attached...dont lose ur sense of identity because u want to please whoever,its ur choice who u get married to,n ur life nt theirs.

Simplestone:
Please my fellow Nairalanders,Am very depressed,I have a man who I have known for 8years,we were friends and started dating 4years ago,although the relationship was a distance one,cause I school in Ogun state,while He reside in delta state,He practically does everything for me including paying my school fees,He is a very caring man,we have agreed to get married this year 2016,Although I don't love him,but I never wanted to be an ingrate to him,and I believe since we are friends that the love will eventually come.
Last year June I had a dream,and I saw a woman and a child crying in front of him, while He kept on pushing them away,I was worried so I asked him if there is any secret He is hiding from me,that I already know, but I wanted to hear from Him,that was when He told me that He got a woman pregnant by mistake in 2013 ,that He does not love the girl,and He has even refuse to see her since she gave birth.
I was depressed and I felt betrayed I stopped picking his calls for Two weeks,and the next thing He did was to rush down to my elder sister and told her everything we have shared in the relationship,and even threatened to deal with me if I don't marry Him,He boasted about all He has done for me,including paying my school fees and all that.

I am truly confused,I need serious advise, please no insults. Thanks.

I have said this before and will say it again.


If you don't love a guy and you know within you that you can't and won't grant what he's going to require, kindly reject his gifts or make him understand that he's doing it out of will and nothing else.

edwife:


I do understand that poverty make some people do unimaginable things. Even if he didn't cheat on you, for 8 years you were unable to have feelings for this man. How will you have cope being his wife? You were a bomb waiting to explode because i assure you, sooner or later- you would have cheated on him.

He has no right threatening you but you could imagine his chock because he spent and probably sacrificed a lot for you thinking that you will one day be his wife.

I am very scared for you and i will advice you to thread with caution. Involve other people, your parents,his family and probably the police. Make sure you refund what he spent on your education and stay away form him.

Thank God there are still women who see things in a balanced way.
Because many ladies out there will be like: shebi he slept with her during those 8 years, why should she refund money to him?

Such women make women look cheap/concerned about money only, as if sex should be compensated with money if you are a woman. That somehow only men get pleasure from sex and should therefore pay up. They make relationship look like one big "red light zone".

I guess if just for the sake of dignity/decency only, women should be ready to endure economic hardship than accept money from guys they have no iota of love for.
Men should also stop paying for love. Love is not a business transaction.
However, when many girls demand money and you consistently refuse to give, they blurt out "you don't love me". It become a line for blackmail. If a girl makes love = money, please guys look elsewhere.

CaroLyner:
umm

this is really all you can add to this thread?

Simplestone:
Am from a really poor family,There was no sponsor, Even my church refused to sponsor me,and I needed an Education and He was the only one who was ready to help.Am not a fraud, I never said I won't marry him,I drew him closer to my family,He was the one who hurt me,He believed I don't have the right to be angry,because He is an assistance to me,He wasn't all that sorry for cheating.

Awwwwww , I understand ur plight gurl. In as much as it is not advisable to marry someone (man or woman) out of pity, situations like yours calls for a very careful application of wisdom. He is angry and furious now reason he is threatening fire and brimstone. Use wisdom to quell his anger because no one can truly predict what he is capable of with his threats, we have all heard similar stories that ended in horror.

Make him understand that he broke your heart and trust and shouldn't expect you not to react. You are human and therefore have feelings too. Bring up before him all the things that could go wrong if u both get married since there is a baby mama and baby already in the mix. Guilt trip him cos at the moment the money he has spent on you is clouding his sense of judgement and reasoning.

I hope and pray everything goes well and all the parties involved end up happy at the end.

I understand where you are coming from. If not for the 3rd-party baby mama thingy, I would have counselled you to go ahead and marry him, because love can grow, if you invest your commitment and will to the relationship. But Heaven has warned you through your dream, so please, back off.

Meanwhile, fear not. You are spiritually connected to Heaven, hence, you got the revelation of his impregnating someone else through your dream. And Heaven will continue to help you and back you up. So put the matter before God and God completely.

Make him become the villain in this drama because he really is... for two-timing you and impregnating another lady. It is time to play a socio-psychological game. Get all families involved, yours, his and the baby-mama's. Tell them you will not rob the baby of his dad. And you have no intention of having your coming children play second fiddle in the man's home. Everyone will empathise with that. Dont mention your not loving him. In fact, tell them you had for all these years committed to the relationship and this is why you did not fall to other men who have been wooing you on and off campus. But you cannot marry someone else's left-over.

Lodge a formal report with the police over his threats. Make sure he writes a commitment at the police station, and let him be given a restraining order.

But be confident that no weapon fashioned against you (physical or spiritual) shall prosper. Do not succumb to his blackmail at all at all. With God, the police and the family on your side, you should be free to move on with your life.

pet4ril:
that's what most of your fellow men are capable of doing....... Believe me I have seen worse one than this

Flawlessangel:


this is really all you can add to this thread?

my opinion wont change anything.

he wants to eat his cake and have it i will advice to look for somebody else, he wants to marry you and yet he cheated and got somebody pregnant and the girl gave birth to a child and he abandoned them like seriously he has no respect for you does he know the word condom like are you ready for more baby mamas to him you are an object yes he does everything for you and pay your school fess is that why he should get someone pregnant the decision is yours but believe me if you get married to this man i do not think you will be happy marriage on a shaky foundation not wise at all but your choice take care

u will never be happy with that guy, so just call it off, God will see u through