My mum is a tiger, great understatement. In fact for her child she is a dinosaur. But to get her then to be for me in a fight, I had specific punchlines I must throw. As a kid, I was a hot head, I fought regularly and was battered for fingering my female classmates. I don't know where I learnt such from, but the zeal in which those girls flocked around me told me whatever possessed me, possessed them too. Meaning it was alright. Anyway my popularity made me a marked man thus subject to harsh beatings from teachers and gangs. Asides the day my female teacher beat me up in primary four cos I was staring between her legs after which she called me aside and molested me. I had always gotten away with my crimes against humanity.

Till a certain day, her name was something Adu. She was my previous seat mate who made sure I wrote with my left hand in order to free up my right hand for her enjoyment, she caught me doing same to a white girl who I apparently invited in her absence. This yeye girl went and reported me to our teacher and for the God of me, the pains and scars of the battery I received still haunts me till this day. Long story short, since I had to give an explanation for torn uniform to my lion mum, I quickly told her the lie that would save me for the next five years. " my teacher tried to touch my penis" jesu. The woman went ballistic and drove me straight to school and in minutes was with her favourite pestle chasing the Ashewo teacher all around. All efforts to pacify her was fruitless and in anger without hearing the truth which could have made my head a victim of her wrath. She withdrew me on the spot. I learnt a vital lesson. I could get my mum on my side, if only I could accuse people of penis related crimes.

Fast forward to when I was in ss2 in 97. After a fight with a classmate, which resulted in alot of injuries to him. I was battered by 7teachers. I made sure nobody knew about it and took my hell, but the moment the English teacher Mr ken, returned from leave two weeks after the incident, to start beating me again simply because the boy I beat was his girlfriend's brother. I knew I had to involve my lion mum. I told her he man flogged me deliberately on my penis about 5strokes. I I made sure I cried and complained all night, such that by morning, despite my dad's plea to be allowed to kill the teacher himself, my mum decided her wrath was best. We got to the school and the usual pestle was swinging. The usual running and screaming. Now this is the part that ensured I never tried this move again. When peacemakers came around to quell the violence, my mum started shouting, HE WANT TO DESTROY MY SONS FAMILY, HE WANT TO DESTROY MY SON OH, MY SON OPRN UR TROUSER AND SHOW THE WHAT HE DID OH. I was shocked, open Wetin. A crowd filled with all my classmates, and the entire public, I was still trying to protest that I have public hair oh and am a man oh, when in her fit of rage she dragged down my trousers, leaving me Stark naked in the presence of others, while imploring them to oversee closely by touch if they feel it necessary in helping the case. I died of shame. My classmates laughed and to make matters worse, since I was at the period in the life of a teenager where the thing gets erect without notice. Na so my thing went erect as soon as cool breeze touch am. Many people stated clapping showing my mum that this is evidence that my family is intact, make she try forgive the man. After hearing that I fought and the true story, all efforts to be withdrawn from the school fell on my parents deaf ears and from the day. I never blackmailed my parents to violence for me or against me. Share yours

Booked

Sorry I didn't read your epistle.
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rolls on the floor

@OP

I hail your mum o. Just tell your future wife not to mess with you or else your mum will come chasing her with the pestle. Chai!

I love your mum

TooNoisy:
@OP

I hail your mum o. Just tell your future wife not to mess with you or else your mum will come chasing her with the pestle. Chai!

abi oh.

kaziblake:
I love your mum

thanks hon. I love her too

Baddest son ever


Havana haha bah hhahaahahahahahahahhahhahaahahahahahahahha

Lol.