@onodogi

i think that what everybody is trying to say is that, although it is not the most ideal thing, it is good that he owned up to his responsibilities. What adults do, is focus more on the solution, instead of crying over spilt milk. so he got her pregnant? what the heck? what next? he married her. simple and smart. that's what he got for having sex with her, whether unprotected or not...pele pele

?is it because she got pregnant that you decided to marry her?if its just because of that alone,then its very bad.love should be the main reason why you should marry.well im glad you did not leave her hen she needed you most but still i insist love should the basics of any union.

well my point now is that he should leave the girl, simple as that. Ofcourse the baby is yours so you will have to support the BABY not the mother o. But please for the sake of your future and so as not to regret later in life, leave her now immediately. It will only hurt for a while but she will get over it.

Think about your future.

Meanwhile Oga seun am still waiting o.

If you are not prepared to marry your girlfriend if she gets pregnant, then you shouldn't get her pregnant!

smtimes the babe go jst lie to d dude say she don carrry belle. jst like in IDENTITY. the guy married the girl because she said she was preganant. she was scared he'd dump her so she ad 2 lie. imagine!

I think Kandy has the most important point here.... Do you LOVE HER I think U also need to ask yourself a lot of other questions. Are you married to her simply coz she got pregnant? Do U think U could be happier or could someone else make U happier? How much of her real self have U discovered since been married to her? Do U find that U are more or less compatible with the person she is now? Does she LOVE U? Does she know HOW TO LOVE U (this is very important- lots of peeps claim to love someone but many don't actually KNOW HOW  to loe that person, coz-face it- peeps want to be loved in different ways). Ask yourself a lot of questions, coz at the end of the day it U and HER and NL don't live with U... . Best of Luck...

@ TOPIC
U shouldn't have slept with her in the first place if u don't really love her but if u really loved her then i think is right u got married to her.congratulations then.

you have to start thinking of how to raise a family now

I support ONDOGI on the issue.  You shouldnt marry because somebody got pregant for you.  At 22years?? in Nigeria??  When he supposed to be in school.   Or are u guys telling me the at that age he is aready a graduate, working and living independently? (unless from a very rich family though)  so my Guy you did wrong, but did RIGHT by accepting RESPONSIBILITY.

what you would have done or your parents is to accept the baby first, then you and the girl go back to school, after graduation you can now decide to marry yourselves or go your separate ways if you two decide.  If you still love her as you claimed you will marry her after graduation and not to start your LIFE with marriage.

Life is not all about marriage, maybe you will be happy that at 27yrs you already have children while your mates are not even married.  My dear, you are not taking children to the grave.  Life is more than MARRIAGE and CHILDREN.

People are congratulating you, I know you must be regreting this your action in your inner most heart.  You really mixed alot, A BOY-FATHER? . 

Am actually refering to POPHONEY, his other posts showed he and the lady were still in school then, but DONONE post showed he was already working as a chartered Accountant, so his is better. As for DONONE from one of his posts, i know he is regreting not PROPOSING TO HIS WIFE, as he had wished. So he never had the opportunity of proposing to a worman in his life and can never do same, he is ONLY WISHING!!!

You guys should not come here and tell us that the EXPERIENCE was gud, i definately know that it was not easy and should not be ENCOURAGED, School First before Marriage.Period. If the Lady gets pregnant, Accept the Responsiblity, Take the Child, Two of you should go back to school and marry after graduation - Not a Case where your Parents will do the marriage for you, and when people stand up to say I AM MARRIED - you will also Stand. when you didnt pay a KOBO!!

thats good i like that, which means ure responsible

i dont agree with mypeace

There are some people that get married without paying a KOBO whether 27 or 29. Fine, they got pregnant, and HE decided to marry her, u think he is not smart enough to think about his freedom. He has choosen to be responsible. you think they cannot have fun while married. Even if he is still in school (which we are not sure about) he has decided to make it work, all u should do is encourage him. Make the best out of ur situation and remove all negativity. Dont Doubt yourself, u can make it work, enjoy it and be strong

please this thread has been here since 2005, just realised

Its really about loving the person you've found, not finding the person you'd love. So make up your mind to love the one you've found and you should be happy

If u marry cos of the belle, big mistake, cos the child will be the one to curse you out when he/she grow older.
Nothing else shd be the reason for getting married but love.

$$Rhino:

If u marry because of the belle, big mistake, because[b] the child will be the one to curse you[/b] out when he/she grow older.
Nothing else should be the reason for getting married but love.

Why wil the child curse him?Cuzz he/she was born outt'a wedlock?

And @ times,love ALONE shouldn't be the reason for settling down.It takes more than love for a marriage to work out well.

Missy B:

Why wil the child curse him?Cuzz he/she was born outt'a wedlock?

And @ times,love ALONE shouldn't be the reason for settling down.It takes more than love for a marriage to work out well.

cos the baby will grow up and i am sure one day you will tell the child that he/she was the reason why you are in a miserable marriage if the marriage isnt good, and the child will curse you say, he/she no send you message.
Child out of wedlock, sorry, i have never seen it as a big deal, child is a child, in or out of wedlock.

If i read well,the poster hasn't mentioned that the marriage isn't goin well.Besides,i still don't see it as enough reason for d child  to curse the parents.

I just hate to see people getting married all cos of belle.
better to still be dating while the baby is developing to be so sure that you wanna marry the woman for love and not cos you and the woman wanna obey the law of good culture.

I don't buy the idea too.

I think it is better for 2 pple to just be together and reaise their kids mutually than to marry all cos that si what dada and mama wants.

you can get used to it, get to make the love stronger.

3 years old thread.

Y'all should be asking him if he's throwing a 2year old Birthday party for his kid

big and costly mistake!! my hus married me because i was one of the two that got pregnant 4 him and since that day till now, there has been more trouble than happy moments in my home. if you said you loved her and she meant the world 2 you and then she got pregnant, then the marriage will survive but if you felt nothing 4 her and then becos she was a virgin and got pregnant and you married her, then you will surely be unfaithful, becos you will finally fall in love with someone else outside.

but if you want 2 give the marriage a chance, then grow 2 love her. let it b another courtship. i wish you success in your marriage and i pray Jesus becomes or is the Head of your home

well i hope u love her if not u probably have made a big mistake. i believe u should love and adore the one you marry especially when ur a man. for women its a bit diffrient. women can adjust to liking a man enough or at least pretending to do so, especially when he is rich . for men its diffrent.

taking responsibility of your actions is a good thing. be a good man and love your wife and your baby

Hi,

A very good topic to talk about.
@Ula
You have said it all.If he marries a virgin cos she is a virgin and does not love her genuinely then you don't need a soothsayer that the marriage will definitely be a tough one.But on the other hand if he maries cos he genuinely loves her then the relationship will last the test of time.

It is important to remember that it is either you protect yourself or zip up.
Nigerians are really giving birth to unwanted babies this days.

@ Topic

I really feel for you.You can make the best out of the marriage by just treating her like your queen and i bet you; you will the best from her.
How is your boy/girl .I hope you have another one now.My dear there is every cause to love your wife.
Cheers.

You're a real gentleman for the decision you made,I hope everything turns out great,like I always say,only date a guy/girl you see yourself marrying incase you have to make this kind of decision.

I am in a similar situation, at 29 years old now, I have turned from a hopeless romantic to a womanizer (due to my workaholic lifestyle and desensitization from being hurt enough times), I have been ready to settle down but seem to find security in using women for my wants, It sounds horrible, because it is.  I have been dating a girl now for 1 year, and have not by any means been faithful.  She is the only one I spend any quality of time with and I truly enjoy her quiet manner, complete patience and loyalty.  I have often thought about committing to her and proposing, but I am not 100% attracted to her physically.  She is 9 weeks pregnant.

My first gut reaction was excitement and feelings of fulfillment of my life purpose washed over me.  Our only options seemed to be abortion or marriage, as she is an alien.  I have 5 days left to decide before our abortion appointment.  I love her, yes.  She is the type of woman that will support my career, my family and me.  She is not one of those beauties that only want attention.  I have told her everything and now I must make a decision, Can I commit to her and spend my life making her the happiest wife, or will I continually cheat and hurt her and the child's life.  I am so lost, a battle of morals, do I take responsibility by marriage or by abortion because I may not be ready to commit? Do I follow my gut that tells me she is not what I want, but what I need, Or spend the rest of my life with her and possibly dreaming about what my life could have been? 

You got married to your Girlfriend becuas eyou got her pregnant, I don't think pregnancy should be used to determine if a guy should marry a girl, what if there is no love between them it would lead to broken home, it could be you don't love her geninuly to make her your wife,

It's not compuslory that if I get a girl pregnant, automatically she is my wife no way!!!

RedHen57

Have you listend to what you have said
"She is the only one I spend any quality of time with and I truly enjoy her quiet manner, complete patience and loyalty."
"I love her, yes. She is the type of woman that will support my career, my family and me"

What else do you want from her? Have you thought about her? She is the one carrying your baby and knowing that you are not faithful to her. You are not attracted to her 100% physically?! Does she have a third arm or something, Come ON!!!!!

Although I understand what you are saying because I asked my wife(she was my girlfriend at that time) to abort our son when she found out she is pregnant. I told her that I'm not ready but I was just scared. Today, I'm so thankful to be with my wife and son. When you meet your son or daughter, you will understand the real meaning of commitment.

Well, I'm hoping that your baby is still growing. If you love her, stop being a womanizer(because you know it is bad) and be there for her. I wish you, your girlfriend, and baby the best.

@Topic,
What are you worried about? you sure chose this path you are treading now when you were shooting without cover.