Happy valentine's day.

Since 3 years I have not had peace in my life. Everyone including my parents and siblings are insisting I bring home a man. It's even worse now because they give me this attitude like I'm a stranger who did something extremely bad.

If I ask any of my brothers for one assistance or the other they will say things like '...I'm not your husband'. They would insult me first then anything else follows.

I am 26 and a graduate in computer engineering. B.sc, M.sc. Marriage is not on my mind now because i am now working on my PhD but nobody understands and they don't even care to understand. Most men who come my way, I don't have any feeling or desire for them how then would I make one my husband?

My work is tedious and time consuming especially now with the challenges the Nigerian economy is facing so all hands on deck. Yet my parents are saying 'Get married!'.

Please Nairaland what do you think I can do? My close assistant is saying I should ignore everyone and continue my life the way I want it and some are saying I should just take any man to satisfy society.

I need your ideas please.

Plz dnt give in to their pressure.. Do wat is right for ursef and be happy

Marriage is not by force dear. I don't know why Nigerian society enforce it like a do or die thing.

All I can say is follow your heart. From your post you are not interested in marriage at all. Infact it's not in your agenda. So just focus on what makes you happy. I see its your career. Do it dilligently and don't give in to pressure.

What is marriage without happiness?

Happy Valentine's day.

You are presently in the part of the world where a married woman is seen as a blessed,a progressive and a responsible woman and your family only wants that for you.

At 26 you are not considering marriage
Issorait.

They think that in 9 years time,you'll start jumping from Shiloh to synagogue.
From crusade to mountains and the prayer point will be," father locate the bone of my bone and catapult him to me"

1.Stop asking your family for any help

2. Well, Go and get married.

But wait, na school be your life goal.

So after PhD, you will start another BSc?

Na joke but think am well.

What do you really want from life?

Lalasticlala how Sunday na, we still get outstanding issues oh.

ispconfig3:

I am 26 and a graduate in computer engineering. B.sc, M.sc. Marriage is not on my mind now because i am now working on my PhD but nobody understands and they don't even care to understand. Most men who come my way, I don't have any feeling or desire for them how then would I make one my husband?

That is where the problem is! FIX that!
They ain't rushing you into anything, they only want you to put 'Marriage on your mind' because they know pretty soon you will become 30+ and make church your new residence or start blaming your village people.

They simply care

I'm single and searching, let's hook up

Nigeria....





....a Nation if dream-killers.

Secretario:
1.Stop asking your family for any help

2. Well, Go and get married.

1. I shouldn't ask my family for help why then was I born? Why didn't they get rid of me if I'm a stranger? Besides I do not ask for financial help.

2. Read my post.

If u nid peace get out of dat hux n get an apartment of ur own, den chase ur dreams ur desired husband will naturally come along d way, but open ur eyes so u can notice him


I love goal getters like u baby...!

Happy Val's sweetie

Babe u are on track remain focus at the right time d man will come.Marriage is a thing of the mind if u marry just to satisfy people and pressure u will regret ur life.

Continue at improving ur life.2moro u will have respect by a man.
If dem no give u help come I will give u so dey know dat if d only good dey c in u is wen u are married. U need to dine with long spoon with them.imagine u are about to die dey will not help just because u no marry.Stingy family members. Just avoid dem completely if dem get sense dey will support u all d way.

I think you should take that your close assistant's advice.

Pineapp:

At 26 you are not considering marriage
Issorait.

In 9 years time,you'll start jumping from Shiloh to synagogue.
From crusade to mountains and the prayer point will be," father locate the bone of my bone and catapult him to me"

This is not funny.

Besides in 9 years my plan is still not marriage unless the right man comes by.

Don't give in to any external pressure concerning ur life. People have a way of pressuring others to catastrophic situations. Btw, are u the only daughter?

ispconfig3:


1. I shouldn't ask my family for help why then was I born? Why didn't they get rid of me if I'm a stranger? Besides I do not ask for financial help.

2. Read my post.

1. What are you saying, after BSc you cannot support yourself? Most of us became a independent at ss1,abi you want to hear and read stories.

From this I know already that you are a grown-up baby.

They will not respect you if you don't work for yourself, or can't you see you are already a liability that is why they want you to carry your overload to your husband house.

Don't give in to the pressure.

But hope later you won't be sad all because you are single and others are married. Hope you wont crave for love later in life

How about trying to balance things. Open your mind, heart and brain to love. Not only your academics.

But if you don't give a heck about love or marriage or family , then you are on the right path. Just don't go about disturbing pastors later

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Don't give in if you're not ready.

Rent an appp and leave so that u can chase ur dream.

Secretario:


1. What are you saying, after BSc you cannot support yourself? Most of us became a independent at ss1,abi you want to hear and read stories.

From this I know already that you are a grown-up baby.

They will not respect you if you don't work for yourself, or can't you see you are already a liability that is why they want you to carry your overload to your husband house.

NO let me vex oh (Bae is on her period today, vals day).

Again read the post. I never mentioned financial assistance. So I cannot ask my family for advice on certain stuff or I cannot seek my family's support on things involving my life? Because I have a B.sc? I think you are the grown baby here.

This is an unfair treatment our society gives to women that makes me feel very angry. My younger sister experienced that, in our whole family (extended and nuclear) I was the only person who stood with her and is still standing for her. Painfully she is just 25 and carefully making her choices knowing she will live with the consequences her choice. I advised her to pin her happiness to God and life Goal and ignore everybody. Face her work and draw closer to God. Our society makes men feel they are everything in a woman's life which is not true. Our families don't help matters too as if the lady is the one to marry the man or marry herself or she should just marry any man not minding her feelings and happiness. It is my strongest believe that at God's time the right man will come. op take the same advice I gave my sister. May the joy of our lord be your companion.

Yes

Your friend gave you the dead line “continue living your life as you want“

What nigerian women dont get is there‘s a big difference between US and Nigeria

In US,the women are not afraid of initiating marriage which is to their advantage,so they can wait as long as they want to get married

In Nigeria,the women rather keep their pride intact than initiating it,a very big disadvantage,so at 33,34,35,36 they get married to any man(not even the right one,they get married to young boys of 25 sef ) because it has finally dawn on them that they were decieved with the line “continue living your life as you want“

To dear op,make sure you play your cards well before is too late,wake up to reality......nigerian men dont feed on old cargoes

sister I see you ooooo.. u better put marriage in your mind ooo.. u want to be next Rita Dominic abi.. kontinu.. this is Nigeria inugo.. hope u want come back to tell us that one thing one thing happen.. look for black goat in day time.. I know everyone won't marry early yes.. but consider it so u don't get in the wrong track.. to before warned is to before armed. I love you

u are 26, a lady, bsc and Msc holder and marriage isn't on ur mind... well, marriage isn't compulsory sha..plus u can get married to ur career.






iranu

Secretario:


1. What are you saying, after BSc you cannot support yourself? Most of us became a independent at ss1,abi you want to hear and read stories.

From this I know already that you are a grown-up baby.

They will not respect you if you don't work for yourself, or can't you see you are already a liability that is why they want you to carry your overload to your husband house.

NO let me vex oh (Bae is on her period today, vals day).

Please shut up. This is why M.sc and PhD are important.

Did she tell you she is not working? Did she tell you she needs money ? Do you know how much it is to obtain a master degree or doctorate? So someone who can afford that is no liability. This is why I don't blame her at all. Men wth low IQ everywhere.

Africa and their marriage mentality.

Get married and suffer domestic violence.
Tufiakwa

pls don't be angry re u a virgin?
where you raised in an abusive environment or marriage?
have you been sexually assaulted in the past?
is dere anything be it a dark past that u don't want anyone to find out?
these re ques you ask urself cos dey might be reasons why you re not interested in men.the ultimate achievement of a woman is the man beside her nd the children around her.you re growing career wise, also grow emotionally.read good relationship books, pray frequently.my dear you are created for someone. five to ten yrs from now u wld wish u had heeded d advise of ur family when you see ur peers with thier family.give a man a chance today.#cheers

Op, i belive your story but partially sha cos there must be a reason why your families are presurising you to marry...tell us the reason

Strahovski1:


Please shut up. This is why M.sc and PhD are important.

Did she tell you she is not working? Did she tell you she needs money ? Do you know how much it is to obtain a master degree or doctorate? So someone who can afford that is no liability. This is why I don't blame her at all. Men wth low IQ everywhere.

Your stupidity and low reasoning capability is sickening and alarming.

Masters and doctorate is expensive? If she is paying it all for herself in the first place, I don't see the kind of question she will ask her family that will make them turn on her that much.

She is dependent and she will not say or agree to it.
I saw myself through school and no family member anywhere can even say anything to me because I don't spend their money nor seek their opinion.

Since your IQ is very high, why don't you give her an advice that is befitting. Weasel.

Secretario:


Your stupidity and low reasoning capability is sickening and alarming.

Masters and doctorate is expensive? If she is paying it all for herself in the first place, I don't see the kind of question she will ask her family that will make them turn on her that much.

She is dependent and she will not say or agree to it.
I saw myself through school and no family member anywhere can even say anything to me because I don't spend their money nor seek their opinion.

Since your IQ is very high, why don't you give her an advice that is befitting. Weasel.

Ok you saw yourself through school. Your family abandoned you. Sorry.

But that does not mean every family should abandon their own. What is family in the first place? The family turns on her because she refused to do what they want 'Get married'. She has a future. A career. A dream ahead of her definitely not marriage.

So don't wish your destroyed and pathetic life for others. Asshole

firstking01:
Op, i belive your story but partially sha cos there must be a reason why your families are presurising you to marry...tell us the reason

Unfortunately, I'm not concerned if you believe it partially or in totality.

Besides they are insisting I get married because 'My mates are married'. And I have a life of my own not my mates which no one understands or cares to understand.

Strahovski1:


Ok you saw yourself through school. Your family abandoned you. Sorry.

But that does not mean every family should abandon their own. What is family in the first place? The family turns on her because she refused to do what they want 'Get married'. She has a future. A career. A dream ahead of her definitely not marriage.

So don't wish your destroyed and pathetic life for others. Asshole

Pathetic and destroyed life? I laugh because the truth is only by perception but I will let you off that, it is your shallow minded opinion.

And my asshole is as wide and deep as the vacuum in your head. Dumbskull!