DeMekus:

You didn't get what I meant when I said I can wash my wife's clothes. I mean, I can wash them without expecting her to do same for me. Washing clothes is no big deal for me. I grew up in a home where one boy could do the entire laundry, while the other would fetching water. The girls were not allowed to do that as it was considered men's job. At the same time, the boys too would not cook because the mom never taught them. Only the girls. I cooked when I was still in school. As a bachelor, I still cook now when I have the time. If I can't, I buy from outside. But when I'm married, my wife will be in charge of the kitchen. That's the situation in the average family from the eastern part and I'm not ready to change that to suit civilization. Ask any Igbo friend you know.
My opinion!

Ying!! Wait until you get married before you conclude.
Marriage entails a lot of compromise where you find e yourself doing what you would not do naturally, therefore, you will cook someday.

Vyolet:

Ying!! Wait until you get married before you conclude.
Marriage entails a lot of compromise where you find e yourself doing what you would not do naturally, therefore, you will cook someday.

Ok, ma.

goodfornothing:
Men can clean the rooms, the dishes, the toilet, water the flower, sit their babies and do every other house chores but they should leave the kitchen for the woman! Men don't look good in apron. The sight irritates me!
If your wife is the Nairaland type that can't add maggi, vegetable, crayfish and water together to make a soup, I suppose you employ a female cook to handle that task. It's just my opinion!

How many Nigerians cook with aprons?

Tolatutu:


So you want to pick what traditional roles should remain according to what suits you riight It doesn't make you feel "UnAfrican" for your wife to help with bills but its "UnAfrican" for you to cook You're a clown

I do not agree with him BUT he feels cooking should be is dividend in marriage therefore he claims he can do all other chores apart from cooking to feel 'married'

He has the right to pick what traditional roles should remain if his wife agrees to it.

PresVA:
Tpiar , why all these foods na? ?

I wonder o!

She wan kill us

DeMekus:

You didn't get my point. Among other things the African man was not supposed to do before now, I think the "stay away from the kitchen" rule should remain, if nothing at all, to show why we're different from the white folks. It doesn't take away the women's right to be respected. I, for instance, can wash my wife's clothes but can't force her to wash mine. I can sit and feed my baby too if need be. But I can never enter the kitchen to cook her meals; let that be my own dividend of being a married man.

You know what. I can live with that. It's great that you are willing and able to do things around the house consistently, not just when you feel like it. You are also very willing to be a hands on dad. If I was your wife, I would be very happy with the arrangement. I love cooking but I don't love cooking and doing every single thing around the house by myself. Something has to give. As long as if I'm ill we get food outside ooo

fem29:


You know what. I can live with that. It's great that you are willing and able to do things around the house consistently, not just when you feel like it. You are also very willing to be a hands on dad. If I was your wife, I would be very happy with the arrangement. I love cooking but I don't love cooking and doing every single thing around the house by myself. Something has to give. As long as if I'm ill we get food outside ooo

LOL! Thanks for understanding.

so what of guys who don't cook like myself? does that mean no marriage for us smh for some people sha

FTBOY:
so what of guys who don't cook like myself? does that mean no marriage for us smh for some people sha

No one said a man who doesn't know how to cook or don't like cooking shouldn't get married. They can marry and provided the wife is okay with it fine but what I was saying is that it isn't a man's "right" not to cook as anyone can prepare meals for the family. Just like cleaning and any other chores can be done by both couple too.

No disrespect to women but by general standard (whether Africa or abroad) the kitchen belongs to the wife. Couples can share responsibilities but it's never gonna be equally. The husband, who is the head, is expected to provide for his family while the wife serves as his support. I can't imagine a scenario where a husband is cooking in the kitchen while the wife is mowing the lawn outdoors.

bukatyne:


I do not agree with him BUT he feels cooking should be is dividend in marriage therefore he claims he can do all other chores apart from cooking to feel 'married'

He has the right to pick what traditional roles should remain if his wife agrees to it.

Nope he's saying it's not right or African for a man to cook which is crap. you can't marry a woman who works the same hours as you and pays bills like you and then decide only she will cook. The minute your wife does the same day hustle as you and pays equal bills you've dropped the African.roles . If she's come on to support your role as a provider then you must be ready to share hers too. She not a robot, that's why some women will be looking like their husbands mothers. The woman too can as well decide which modern roles she wants to take on. Let her also say I'll work but you pay all the bills because it's African for a Man to pay the bills even if you can't cook be ready to wash dishes

Mamatee07:


Nope he's saying it's not right or African for a man to cook which is crap. you can't marry a woman who works the same hours as you and pays bills like you and then decide only she will cook. The minute your wife does the same day hustle as you and pays equal bills you've dropped the African.roles . If she's come on to support your role as a provider then you must be ready to share hers too. She not a robot, that's why some women will be looking like their husbands mothers. The woman too can as well decide which modern roles she wants to take on. Let her also say I'll work but you pay all the bills because it's African for a Man to pay the bills even if you can't cook be ready to wash dishes

But who told you I'd allow my wife work the same hours as I do or share bills equally with me? Then why is she a wife? Anyway, I think everyone has their own choice of marriage partner.

Cammo:
No disrespect to women but by general standard (whether Africa or abroad) the kitchen belongs to the wife. Couples can share responsibilities but it's never gonna be equally. The husband, who is the head, is expected to provide for his family while the wife serves as his support. I can't imagine a scenario where a husband is cooking in the kitchen while the wife is mowing the lawn outdoors.

Good reasoning!

Men should know how to cook simple. Ordinarily no Nigerian wife wants her husband in the kitchen except if need be. My kitchen is special to me and I don't trust DH culinary skills but there are times I need him to do it. Well I no dey even talk sef, by the time I take my bath and lie down,he will leave TV/phone and enter kitchen.

Mamatee07:


Nope he's saying it's not right or African for a man to cook which is crap. you can't marry a woman who works the same hours as you and pays bills like you and then decide only she will cook. The minute your wife does the same day hustle as you and pays equal bills you've dropped the African.roles . If she's come on to support your role as a provider then you must be ready to share hers too. She not a robot, that's why some women will be looking like their husbands mothers. The woman too can as well decide which modern roles she wants to take on. Let her also say I'll work but you pay all the bills because it's African for a Man to pay the bills even if you can't cook be ready to wash dishes

Thank you. Altho I don't mind doing all the cooking and chores , but some men's mentality is very warped, the woman has to do all the house chores, they feel helping her out will make them less of a man but her sharing bills with them doesn't make them less of a man.

I av a Prof in one of the prestigious Unis in Nigerian as a family friend, the wife is also a Prof, he cooks for his family once in a while esp when his wife is tired or sick or travelled, the children sef prefers his cooking cos he doesn't economize ingredients and assortment like his wife.
There are men tht can't even feed their own baby, if the wife dares suggest tht they help out, na trouble. The woman is the one expected to slave around all day and still contribute to the family's finances. An heavily pregnant woman wld be expected to continue cooking for him and his barrage of friends, whether she is sick or healthy she has to cook, if she comes back late from work and tired, she has't cooked, there is trouble, etc . May God help us.

HaneefahRN:


Thank you. Altho I don't mind doing all the cooking and chores , but some men's mentality is very warped, the woman has to do all the house chores, they feel helping her out will make them less of a man but her sharing bills with them doesn't make them less of a man.

I av a Prof in one of the prestigious Unis in Nigerian as a family friend, the wife is also a Prof, he cooks for his family once in a while esp when his wife is tired or sick or travelled, the children sef prefers his cooking cos he doesn't economize ingredients and assortment like his wife.
There are men tht can't even feed their own baby, if the wife dares suggest tht they help out, na trouble. The woman is the one expected to slave around all day and still contribute to the family's finances. An heavily pregnant woman wld be expected to continue cooking for him and his barrage of friends, whether she is sick or healthy she has to cook, if she comes back late from work and tired, she has't cooked, there is trouble, etc . May God help us.

if what u said is true, then those children lack manners and proper upbringing.

are they babies?

i don't think is proper for an old man to be cooking for his children, i can't imagine my dad cooking when i and my sisters are at home...

it isn't just right....

cooking is a woman thing, there is absolutely nothing anybody can do about it...

u women should embrace your vocation with delight...

johnson232:

if what u said is true, then those children lack manners and proper upbringing.

are they babies?

i don't think is proper for an old man to be cooking for his children, i can't imagine my dad cooking when i and my sisters are at home...

it isn't just right....

First that's nice of u. 2nd it started from when they were young ( his last born is in Uni now) and the man takes it up as a personal thing whenever he is available, they help him out bt he makes sure he joins in in making d dish, down to going to the market wt his kids, making it even more fun for them cos of course they'll always find something nt foodlike to ask daddy to buy. He enjoys doing it, tht is when he has d time sha, cos he is a busy man, but those few times he has he uses it to spend quality time wt his family, they'll tell their mom they don't want economist here o. So it's nt abt upbringing, and dnt let him hear u call him old man.

HaneefahRN:


First that's nice of u. 2nd it started from when they were young ( his last born is in Uni now) and the man takes it up as a personal thing whenever he is available, they help him out bt he makes sure he joins in in making d dish, down to going to the market wt his kids, making it even more fun for them cos of course they'll always find something nt foodlike to ask daddy to buy. He enjoys doing it, tht is when he has d time sha, cos he is a busy man, but those few times he has he uses it to spend quality time wt his family, they'll tell their mom they don't want economist here o. So it's nt abt upbringing, and dnt let him hear u call him old man.

to attain the status of a prof in nigeria takes time, hence the old man...

DeMekus:
I'm also of the opinion that cooking shouldn't be a man's duty. A man can learn how to cook as an advantage to bachelorhood. But once he's married, the wife ought to take over immediately. It's not really about how they look in the apron. It is un-African; to hell with your civilisation.
My only problem is the way the Op addressed the topic.

lol. Men should not eat too.

HaneefahRN:


First that's nice of u. 2nd it started from when they were young ( his last born is in Uni now) and the man takes it up as a personal thing whenever he is available, they help him out bt he makes sure he joins in in making d dish, down to going to the market wt his kids, making it even more fun for them cos of course they'll always find something nt foodlike to ask daddy to buy. He enjoys doing it, tht is when he has d time sha, cos he is a busy man, but those few times he has he uses it to spend quality time wt his family, they'll tell their mom they don't want economist here o. So it's nt abt upbringing, and dnt let him hear u call him old man.

please, what's now the responsibility of a wife in the home?

Op should women pay bills in a home even when they have a husband? I will like to know your answer on this.

eitsei:
please, what's now the responsibility of a wife in the home?

Definitely not to be a slave to the man, what's the big deal wt the man helping out his wife in the house esp when she is indisposed?
Now tell me what the responsibilities of the man is in the home

johnson232:

if what u said is true, then those children lack manners and proper upbringing.

are they babies?

i don't think is proper for an old man to be cooking for his children, i can't imagine my dad cooking when i and my sisters are at home...

it isn't just right....

cooking is a woman thing, there is absolutely nothing anybody can do about it...

u women should embrace your vocation with delight...

Excellent! Let the so called feminists keep ranting on Nairaland. But we know they're as humble as puppies in the real world

byvan03:
Op should women pay bills in a home even when they have a husband? I will like to know your answer on this.

Bill payment is the husband's duty. The wife can help at her own accord but it's not compulsory. But the kitchen is definitely the wife's territory!

Story......
But they eat more than everybody.

marbee:
Story......
But they eat more than everybody.

Have you been measuring the quantity of food your husband consumes on a daily basis?

goodfornothing:

Bill payment is the husband's duty. The wife can help at her own accord but it's not compulsory. But the kitchen is definitely the wife's territory!

Sorry but the truth is that what you just said is not obtainable in 70percent of homes in Nigeria with the harsh economy. A woman contribution is now very compulsory. Some women even work till 9th month of pregnancy because of hardship. That's the reality of life. And yes the kitchen is our territory,you can only be found there when we need your help.

goodfornothing:

Bill payment is the husband's duty. The wife can help at her own accord but it's not compulsory. But the kitchen is definitely the wife's territory!

Can the man help on his own accord in the kitchen?

HaneefahRN:


Definitely not to be a slave to the man, what's the big deal wt the man helping out his wife in the house esp when she is indisposed?
Now tell me what the responsibilities of the man is in the home

I don't think you answered my question well... No one is saying the wife should be treated as a slave and it's very good for a husband to help his wife sometimes but the wife shouldn't be sharing her role with her husband not that a time table for house chores will now be made on the ground that 'he' s working am working '

Your moniker suites you

Hope you marry a woman that doesn't bring a dime to the table too

eitsei:
I don't think you answered my question well... No one is saying the wife should be treated as a slave and it's very good for a husband to help his wife sometimes but the wife shouldn't be sharing her role with her husband not that a time table for house chores will now be made on the ground that 'he' s working am working '

Alryt, I intentionally didn't ans it well, I thought u wanted to criticize d man helping his wife out

Amhappy:


Sorry but the truth is that what you just said is not obtainable in 70percent of homes in Nigeria with the harsh economy. A woman contribution is now very compulsory. Some women even work till 9th month of pregnancy because of hardship. That's the reality of life. And yes the kitchen is our territory,you can only be found there when we need your help.

The wife serves as the husband's complement, in other words, an assistant to her man. She is mainly subjected to dispense domestic duties but no marriage law anywhere compels her to support the husband financially, even if she earns more