The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by agobentim: 9:04pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Food for thought by Ojigbani Kojo
The most difficult age for any man born in Nigeria should be between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something, to be someone is so immense. When you look around you everyone seems to be doing something for themselves, people seem to be living a life you only dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have been more disappointing than Yakubu Aiyegbeni penalty kick at the world cup.
Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the age when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs, because the disappointments become too much and you find alternative ways to face reality. Worse is when a few people you studied with have been lucky enough to land jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner – mostly they don’t even cut you out but you will be real with yourself and cut yourself off. I mean what will you do when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends and they are discussing about last week’s trip in Dubai and planning another trip South Africa while you are not sure of what your next meal would be?
Most times you follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep around the more the pressure to be something, takes a toll on you. You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you “boss this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about GMAT, SHLn Dragnet, jobberman or job vacancies sites“.
But you sit there as these people are lost in their lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten like one of a woman’s breasts during pre-intimacy. Once in a while one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to do what? So you grudgingly drop in the comment “I will have just one last one“ Lie.
But after a few years of job hunting, you are now ready to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as long as it pays , so you end up as an office messenger in one blue chip company in town. To imagine that 4-5 years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not doing that, you are being sent for cheap lunch by the employees when they are broke and they can’t order with fast food. This is when conversations about where people schooled start, you go silent for it’s no longer of any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t matter – you have resorted to surviving.
Once in while you will bump into your now well to do classmates, they would offer you lunch, but not even eating the meals at Eko Hotel or Sheraton will make you feel better about yourself, because in your mind you wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort your meals for the next 5 weeks. As it is the norm you will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but always it’s your face that would look the odd one out – not even the best filters can hide a face which has suffered the city's dust and sun but survives on boiled beans.
The worst mistake you can do during this period is to try and date – there is nothing that a person going through such times can offer in terms of love. How are you going to do evening romantic walks when you are tired from walking delivering letters in offices around town? What are you going to tell your lady when she says she wants to go for relaxation at the bar, pool or love garden sites that are in town? That your financial religion doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when you sit back and watch as the ladies you would want to date are dating or getting married to guys 10 years older than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in life. Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s and Chelsea's performance in the EPL then my friend be prepared for a walk out.
But then this is the age when you learn a lot of about life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only hard moment in your life would be when you lose your parents - that’s if you are still lucky enough to have them. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance, about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it teaches you something about friendship, love, career growth and personal responsibility. This is always your rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make. How you live your life in the 30’s is determined by how you handled your life in this phase https://www.facebook.com/WbsTvUganda/posts/967701073268464 145 Likes 29 Shares |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Codyt(m): 9:23pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Funny but true. What's so special about being FTC now? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Nobody: 9:33pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
its easy ooo.. true talk 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by bayodele73(m): 10:48pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Word man 1 Like |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by psalmuelwater(m): 10:55pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
So true 1 Like |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Nobody: 11:29pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
Codyt: Funny but true. my friend started hammering in his late 30 prisely 39 and has viturally out done most of his friend financially ...he built a nice duplex and drives a Mercedes Benz c class 2013 and earn around a million monthly transporting oil for an oil major ,he now 49 and has been earning this sum for almost a decade ..he is a liverpool fan and flys regulary to watch matches in the uk .i visit him lately and look at his shoe collection(designers)worth almost a milla..he told me he was driving one nigga 10 yrs ago ..b4 the break thru...it never too late 76 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by SkinnyDude(m): 11:51pm On Feb 24, 2016 |
i'm already experiencing it. ND graduate now, seeking for an I.T. placement. all the places i have been, no vacant. and i actually like the feeling and heat.. it stops me from relaxing and being lazy, thinking that am still young.. i'm 21 this month. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Nobody: 12:15am On Feb 25, 2016 |
In life, no one owes you anything. You're on your own. 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by obyrich(m): 5:50am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Alikote: my friend started hammering in his late 30 prisely 39 and has viturally out done most of his friend financially ...he built a nice duplex drives a c class 2013 and earn around a million monthly transporting oil for an oil major .he now 49 and has,been earn this sum for almost a decade ..he is a liverpool fan and flys regulary to watch match in the uk .i visit him lately and look at his shoe collection worth almost a milla..he told me he was driving one nigga 10 yrs ago ..b4 the break thru...it never too late This is quite true. I know a guy with a similar story. Made it in his mid forties. Heavily loaded now. Has fleet of cars and estates all over now. Guy was always sending his wife home to her parent's house each time she put to bed because he had no money to cater for her. But now babe drives a Murano to school. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by gabylzy(m): 6:02am On Feb 25, 2016 |
i couldnt read it tho.. cos i jst woke nd the write up is long buh i knw t entails one thing "SUFFERING" 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Nobody: 6:26am On Feb 25, 2016 |
True story... Also know that wank1ng is better for you. A poor pen1s has no right to become erect. 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Knownpal(m): 7:45am On Feb 25, 2016 |
gabylzy: i couldnt read it tho.. cos i jst woke nd the write up is long buh i knw t entails one thing "SUFFERING" Read it, it will help you/ Nice write up. 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Knownpal(m): 7:46am On Feb 25, 2016 |
SkinnyDude: i'm already experiencing it. ND graduate now, seeking for an I.T. placement. all the places i have been, no vacant. and i actually like the feeling and heat.. it stops me from relaxing and being lazy, thinking that am still young.. i'm 21 this month. Sometimes in Industrial Training stuff (I perceive it's 1 year) all you have to do is to write up a CV and present, if your skills are flashy they will consider you. 1 Like |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Lordtrillion(m): 7:50am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Wow, so true 1 Like |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Codyt(m): 8:02am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Alikote: my friend started hammering in his late 30 prisely 39 and has viturally out done most of his friend financially ...he built a nice duplex drives a c class 2013 and earn around a million monthly transporting oil for an oil major .he now 49 and has,been earn this sum for almost a decade ..he is a liverpool fan and flys regulary to watch match in the uk .i visit him lately and look at his shoe collection worth almost a milla..he told me he was driving one nigga 10 yrs ago ..b4 the break thru...it never too late That ur friend got some class o. Damn. Motivation for me..... It's never too late. 4 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by indoorlove(m): 8:34am On Feb 25, 2016 |
@op, Everything you said is nothing but the truth. I can relate with your write up. 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Lemonade01(m): 9:00am On Feb 25, 2016 |
So true..Especially about the fact that dating in this period can be very frustrating. There will be days when you cant even afford #100 to call your babe, while you have friend tripping out dere ladies on Bbm..Front page material! 10 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Debayurr: 9:03am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Wow...This is deep# 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by marshborn(m): 9:18am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Spot on!! |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Heineken(m): 9:31am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Very true... Am a graduate but no job. If not for my mum ehn I would have committed suicide. To even barb my hair na wahala. 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Tkini(f): 9:42am On Feb 25, 2016 |
agobentim: Agoben The most difficult age for any man born in Nigeria should be between 24 and 29 years, the pressure to be something, to be someone is so immense. When you look around you everyone seems to be doing something for themselves, people seem to be living a life you only dream of. You have applied for jobs and the results have been more disappointing than Yakubu Aiyegbeni penalty kick at the world cup. Sadly this is the age when most guys lose it, the age when if not careful one is consumed by alcohol or drugs, because the disappointments become too much and you find alternative ways to face reality. Worse is when a few people you studied with have been lucky enough to land jobs, soon your circle of friends gets thinner – mostly they don’t even cut you out but you will be real with yourself and cut yourself off. I mean what will you do when you are in a WhatsApp group of friends and they are discussing about last week’s trip in Dubai and planning another trip South Africa while you are not sure of what your next meal would be? Most times you follow the conversation silently, all alone like a cross on the grave. Soon you realize this is no longer your kind of crowd because the more you keep around the more the pressure to be something, takes a toll on you. You know when stories about house parties come up and you act deaf because you don’t know where an extra 5 guys would fit in your house. Have you ever sat in a group of people discussing the new iPhone on the market or how British Airways offers shit services and you can feel your heart whisper to you “boss this is chest pain hour, can we just go and find a group that talks about GMAT, SHLn Dragnet, jobberman or job vacancies sites“. But you sit there as these people are lost in their lifestyle conversations, you are like a secretary taking minutes in meeting. You are totally forgotten like one of a woman’s breasts during pre-intimacy. Once in a while one of the friends will turn and ask if you need another drink and you wonder if you should just say No and head home, but head home to do what? So you grudgingly drop in the comment “I will have just one last one“ Lie. But after a few years of job hunting, you are now ready to take anything even if is to smell a rich man’s farts as long as it pays , so you end up as an office messenger in one blue chip company in town. To imagine that 4-5 years of studying and getting a degree is now reduced to picking and dropping off letters and if you are not doing that, you are being sent for cheap lunch by the employees when they are broke and they can’t order with fast food. This is when conversations about where people schooled start, you go silent for it’s no longer of any use to say you also reached University, it doesn’t matter – you have resorted to surviving. Once in while you will bump into your now well to do classmates, they would offer you lunch, but not even eating the meals at Eko Hotel or Sheraton will make you feel better about yourself, because in your mind you wish instead they would give you the 30k and you sort your meals for the next 5 weeks. As it is the norm you will have photos taken, and uploaded on Facebook, but always it’s your face that would look the odd one out – not even the best filters can hide a face which has suffered the city's dust and sun but survives on boiled beans. The worst mistake you can do during this period is to try and date – there is nothing that a person going through such times can offer in terms of love. How are you going to do evening romantic walks when you are tired from walking delivering letters in offices around town? What are you going to tell your lady when she says she wants to go for relaxation at the bar, pool or love garden sites that are in town? That your financial religion doesn’t allow it or what? This is the age when you sit back and watch as the ladies you would want to date are dating or getting married to guys 10 years older than you. And you can’t blame them – it’s only that your life seems to be progressing slower than their goals in life. Most of the ladies you meet during this period, if you are lucky will be patient with you till you hit 28, and if by then your life is still in disarray like Liverpool’s and Chelsea's performance in the EPL then my friend be prepared for a walk out. But then this is the age when you learn a lot of about life, if you can hack through this stage of life the only hard moment in your life would be when you lose your parents - that’s if you are still lucky enough to have them. This stage teaches you a lot about perseverance, about appreciating the small wins you have each day, it teaches you something about friendship, love, career growth and personal responsibility. This is always your rise or fall moment depending on the choices you make. How you live your life in the 30’s is determined by how you handled your life in this phase the most annoying part is DT u see people u feel are not up to u academically making it posting pics online and u be like 'baba God when u go pick up my call.........it is well sha. 12 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by angiography(m): 10:20am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Heineken: Very true... Am a graduate but no job. If not for my mum ehn I would have committed suicide. To even barb my hair na wahala. I tell you. Mums are the best. Never knew I could still get some Nairas from her for my second degree. I'm happy tho... I got a scholarship to study medicine from a renowned man (in d country) while working a #60k job as a Nurse. "have you seen a man deligent in his service, he'll serve kings and not mere men". whatever your hand finds doing, do it with all ur passion. For where ur passion is, there your treasure shall be. God bless our hustles. And well...I thought out this; "Some were born with silver spoon many were borne with none but that means not that everyone can't have a silver spoon. if you aren't born with a silver spoon, YOU CAN FORGE one. Not even a silver spoon, but a golden one. Forging, albeit, requires...: -digging for resources refining the resources shaping the resources polishing the resources. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Heineken(m): 10:26am On Feb 25, 2016 |
angiography:
I tell you. Mums are the best. Never knew I could still get some Nairas from her for my second degree.
may God bless us soon so we can take good care of them. Dem dey try 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Donexy16(m): 10:39am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Thank God for our parents who keep giving us HOPE. Its well 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by GambaOsaka: 10:52am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Hmm.... Deep message. I remember those days when I needed just N100 to make tutorial class photocopy, and then I see a celebrity flaunting a $200,000 wrist watch on twitter. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Safari29: 10:58am On Feb 25, 2016 |
i can relate. lalasticlala |
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Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by condralbede(m): 11:17am On Feb 25, 2016 |
You are on point op. |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by ifenes(m): 11:18am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Shows the education system needs reform 2 Likes |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Appswheel(m): 11:18am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Still reading to make my comments shortly |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by Histrings08(m): 11:19am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Nairaland |
Re: The Difficult Stages In The Life Of A Nigerian Graduate by dridowu: 11:21am On Feb 25, 2016 |
Nigerian Graduate 5 Likes 1 Share |