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My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by alwelldinho(m): 6:05am On Feb 28, 2016
My girlfriend told me last night
that it's over between us. I thought about it and i found out
that life without her is meaningless, so I decided to kill
myself. I jumped from my reading
table to my bed but I didn't die, I went to the express road and looked carefully before crossing the road, nothing happened to me. I drank 4 rubbers of lacasera with plenty suya but nothing happened, I took a lot of mangoes without swallowing the seeds, yet I didn't see hell!
I proceeded to another level of
concoction. I prepared gizzard and
kidney sauce with strawberry
juice and lots of fresh tomatoes,
yet nothing happened to me.
I ate cake, chocolate mixed with
ice cream, still I didn't die.
I'm so worried now cause I just
finished eating fried rice with
chilled maltina and fresh fruit
salad but nothing has happened
to me.
I'm really upset right now.
Friends, what do I do? Should I try
fried plantain and chicken with
fresh milk? Will it work?
.
Advice me please, I'm waiting.
Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by xpac01(m): 6:18am On Feb 28, 2016
Just ask Dangote trailer drivers, I think they have your answer. smiley

1 Like

Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by Nobody: 6:32am On Feb 28, 2016
nooo fresh milk wen we v hypo dt can wash away ur sins... jst drink one sachet shikena
Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by adorablepepple(f): 7:04am On Feb 28, 2016
Lol
Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by alwelldinho(m): 4:40pm On Feb 28, 2016
ok! since lassa fever is in town, I decided to drink garri again yet I no die...nawa oo
Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by samtheman: 5:08pm On Feb 28, 2016
Die die die die die grin
Re: My Gf Broke Up With Me & I Want To Die. Advice Me by alwelldinho(m): 6:12pm On Feb 28, 2016
samtheman:
Die die die die die grin
ah bros! ar u a member of mountain of fire ministry?

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