Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? - Romance (2)

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Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 7:10pm On Jul 18, 2009

@na2day, u rili funny, been actually smiling n crying, lol,
You v actually laid out my future exatly how i thought it would be, i ve left it 2 GOD.
but pls for u if u were n ma situation what wud you do and if i were 2 set her free, exactly how

whats gonna happen to our feelings? especially mine?

@seeker, nice try!!!,

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 8:16pm On Jul 18, 2009

esosa4real:

@na2day, u rili funny, been actually smiling n crying, lol,
You v actually laid out my future exatly how i thought it would be, i ve left it 2 GOD.
but pls for u if u were n ma situation what wud you do and if i were 2 set her free, exactly how
whats gonna happen to our feelings? especially mine?

@seeker, nice try!!!,

last time i checked i said i want to see the color of ur money! angry

u think i went to Dr. Phil's school for nothing? grin

anywayz, u should continue to live life as normal, love her to death if u must but dont pressurize her, dont make demands, let things happen while u pray for leading (i am not the Holy Spirit, cant help u with leadings). also stop worrying, that is so unhealthy for ur young mind, call her to have a discussion with her on what she thinks holds true for both of u future, let her know u want her to have fun at her NYSC, lots of fun and while u will do lots of prayer. plz for God's sake it is not about you, it is about the girl, u need to put that in ur skull, if at this stage u are still talking about feelings, u are still a child and i dont hold that against u but life will teach u to grow up, it will happen at the right time. feelings are the things u think u have inside u when u meet sum1 and u like or love or have lust for them, living with them u have to throw feelings aside most times; i will give u an example, there are lots of men that get so pissed off by the wives they FEEL like killing their wives but very few in the world literally act on that feeling. my point is feelings dont stand the test of time and love have very little to do with feelings, if u doubt me ask Jesus, if he had another way of loving us and saving us without dying he will take that route, that's why he asked God to see if God has changed his mind on this cross dying thingy grin

and if u are indeed worried that she might end up with the wrong guy that will not treat her like u would or love her like u would or like she deserve just send her to me, i will do the honor of marrying her on ur behalf wink

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 8:36pm On Jul 18, 2009

I disagree with some of your points -- although it holds true here but not in Nigeria. In Nigeria, parents have influence and prevail immensely over their decisions, especially marriage. Anyone you want to marry has to be acceptable to the family or they're not good for you even if that's the perfect person for you. They always want you to marry someone that suites them, they don't care if you love or don't love them. Some parents still go as far as indicating to their children not to get married to someone from another tribe. As I suspect, she lives in Nigeria, this cannot be ruled out. When she gets a job, she'll keep hearing rants of impatient parents whose hunger for grand kids are insatiable. They can't seize to want grand kids. Most of them even tell their children, adults at that, the number of children they should have. Nigeria is yet to experience civilization.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 8:38pm On Jul 18, 2009

TheSeeker:

I disagree with some of your points -- although it holds true here but not in Nigeria. In Nigeria, parents have influence and prevail immensely over their decisions, especially marriage. Anyone you want to marry has to be acceptable to the family or they're not good for you even if that's the perfect person for you. They always want you to marry someone that suites them, they don't care if you love or don't love them. Some parents still go as far as indicating to their children not to get married to someone from another tribe. As I suspect, she lives in Nigeria, this cannot be ruled out. When she gets a job, she'll keep hearing rants of impatient parents whose hunger for grand kids are insatiable. They can't seize to want grand kids. Most of them even tell their children, adults at that, the number of children they should have. Nigeria is yet to experience civilization.

that's why i added the lots of prayer part wink

hopefully, the Lawd will be on their side grin

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 8:47pm On Jul 18, 2009

Posted by: spoilt
medicine or no medicine, at 22 you still have a lot of time before thinking marriage.

I agree completely with that, you still have several years ahead of you. Just finish your med. school
(Path n pharm s probably the toughest class to be in med school, with all those 5 toughies.)
and start PP and/or residency before you start thinking of marriage, i have few months left in med. sch
and blv me - marriage is the last thing on my mind at the moment - small boi like me!

*My mum will flog me - if she hears of such a thing*

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 8:58pm On Jul 18, 2009

na2day?:

that's why i added the lots of prayer part hopefully, the Lawd will be on their side

I hope that works for him

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 9:12pm On Jul 18, 2009

TheSeeker:

I hope that works for him

thats the best we can do 4 him, Hope and pray

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 9:32pm On Jul 18, 2009

na2day?:

thats the best we can do 4 him, Hope and pray

Stamped and sealed!

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 9:35pm On Jul 18, 2009

TheSeeker:

Stamped and sealed!

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by chidipupay(m): 10:31pm On Jul 18, 2009

@poster

Difinately, i will suggest you do not think of marriage now. you need to consider three factor and you relationship should be able to survive this three stage which are.
1. medical pass
2. family/external acceptance and influence
3.fidelity.

once you guys survive this. then prepared for the ultimate, TIME.
so my guy abeg just take one step at a time

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by chyk91(m): 10:50pm On Jul 18, 2009

yea, it can work but its gonna be hard o, cos after leavin med school, u will still do housejob and nysc b4 u start working, but if u can endure till then without u looking outside or she dating someone, else it can work. But i repeat its gonna be hard, but continue as u av done i am sure it can work.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 5:18am On Jul 19, 2009

NLs, that class he is presently in, is a class where if one is not serious enough - may get kicked out of med. school
It is the toughest and most delicate class too, i think matters that may cause distractions should be avoided in that class.
Besides, considering their ages, i somehow doubt if that relationship may last.

na2day?:

thats the best we can do 4 him, Hope and pray

I guess, i will have to join the prayer group for the poster then. My own main concern being that, he should get his
medical pass - if that is lost - your life will never be the same again - ppl i hav seen go thru dat - lose their identities

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 5:29am On Jul 19, 2009

*dhtml:

I guess, i will have to join the prayer group for the poster then. My own main concern being that, he should get his
medical pass - if that is lost - your life will never be the same again - ppl i hav seen go thru dat - lose their identities

i concur

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 5:36am On Jul 19, 2009

*dhtml:

NLs, that class he is presently in, is a class where if one is not serious enough - may get kicked out of med. school
It is the toughest and most delicate class too, i think matters that may cause distractions should be avoided in that class.
Besides, considering their ages, i somehow doubt if that relationship may last.
I guess, i will have to join the prayer group for the poster then. My own main concern being that, he should get his
medical pass - if that is lost - your life will never be the same again - ppl i hav seen go thru dat - lose their identities

Please don't remind me why I voluntarily pulled out of medical school, it got to a stage where I practically almost didn't have a girlfriend, I was like "damn, this is too boring". I hopped on the Criminal Law wagon and tell you what, it's as free and flowing as La Liga

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by MUZBO(m): 10:35am On Jul 19, 2009

My candid advise: play your part normally and be prepared to make very very big sacrifices during her NYSC but the good thing is that the pressure would be now her in that period. . .just keep getting the ball into her court always.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by chyk91(m): 7:56pm On Jul 19, 2009

yea, dats d most difficult class in med skl, so guy be careful.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 4:47am On Jul 20, 2009

And i will reluctantly mention that during that class, i had a very similar incident to what you are facing now about 3 years ago. . . . .
which made me have an extra year (along with some other factors). . . .at the end of the day, i lost the girl. . . .briefly
this was a 5 year long relationship, and she chose to breakup at time of exam and i was ~~not~~ devasted 'cos someone lied he will marry A.S.A.P and she calculated that i cannot marry her for at least the next 4 years. . . .funny, later she blamed me for letting her go
so easily (but what should I have done - force her not to leave me for the guy? or give her a dirty slap?)

OP, we have said many words here, just make the right decision and move on with your life - these stuffs happen all the time

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 5:44am On Jul 20, 2009

*dhtml:

And i will reluctantly mention that during that class, i had a very similar incident to what you are facing now about 3 years ago. . . . .
which made me have an extra year (along with some other factors). . . .at the end of the day, i lost the girl. . . .briefly
this was a 5 year long relationship, and she chose to breakup at time of exam and i was ~~not~~ devasted 'cos someone lied he will marry A.S.A.P and she calculated that i cannot marry her for at least the next 4 years. . . .funny, later she blamed me for letting her go
so easily (but what should I have done - force her not to leave me for the guy? or give her a dirty slap?)

OP, we have said many words here, just make the right decision and move on with your life - these stuffs happen all the time

women! ! !

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by MrWaters: 8:05am On Jul 20, 2009

Age is the BIG problem but if relatives won't force her to marry @26 then u still ve ur chance

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by kalabi: 9:00am On Jul 20, 2009

oh boy, i still insist that u face yr study . u don't even have much responsibility in this matter like the girl. live yr life normal, luv her keep yr contact, if she luv u she will wait for u, no matter the time and age on her part. but dont disapont her. she should be d one worry abt u not u worry abt her. her possibly marry at 26 is not too late. so be cool if she love u she will wait for u. whatever happen in the future take it and dont get heart broken. yr study is no 1 now oh boy get serious with yr future and yr carrier and pray to God always. Don't leave her, u have a better chance. Encourage her as much as possible.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 5:31pm On Jul 20, 2009

*dhtml:

And i will reluctantly mention that during that class, i had a very similar incident to what you are facing now about 3 years ago. . . . .
which made me have an extra year (along with some other factors). . . .at the end of the day, i lost the girl. . . .briefly
this was a 5 year long relationship, and she chose to breakup at time of exam and i was ~~not~~ devasted 'cos someone lied he will marry A.S.A.P and she calculated that i cannot marry her for at least the next 4 years. . . .funny, later she blamed me for letting her go
so easily (but what should I have done - force her not to leave me for the guy? or give her a dirty slap?)

OP, we have said many words here, just make the right decision and move on with your life - these stuffs happen all the time

eyah, i feel u though, 5yrs was pretty long, though nowadays it doesnt matter about the time of courtship but still i think u were caught up by my worst fears, A BREAKUP from her even when things might be kicking just fine,
Well I have made my decisions to focus on my medics, my plans n prospects, lil biz and ofcourse on her cos i love her to death!!!.
Funny enough, if she gets to see this thread, (THOUGH SHE AINT) she definately wont be happy about it cos she might feel i have felt insecure about this and didnt discussed em with her,(THATS HER n I LOVE IT), also she might compare some of my actions to some advices here n all dat, but really dont care cos thats not whatsup, I plan to discuss all this with her again next month, cos i get to see her then and talk to her not just about ma fears but encourage her, thats my part n nothin much n note i didnt come only to seek advice to validate an action that i probably intend to take and feel less guilty about it, NOPE, i have strenghtened my thoughts, most impt, learnt to take ma medics more seriously as its gonna go a long way in depicting most part of my future.
Thanks yall

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 6:21pm On Jul 21, 2009

I like that decision. There is nothing new under the sun. You need to secure your future, it is far more important than a loff relationship.
Lots of medical students i have seen do not even date at all (the guy) till they finish (for those that can cope).

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by TheSeeker(m): 6:43pm On Jul 21, 2009

*dhtml:

I like that decision. There is nothing new under the sun. You need to secure your future, it is far more important than a loff relationship.
Lots of medical students i have seen do not even date at all (the guy) till they finish (for those that can cope).

Yes plus that, parents forced me into medicine because they saw I have the talent of being a doctor, but I have passion for the legal field. My point still is, whatever field anyone is, that's what should come first not relationships. Although relationships are important, but it has to be on a balanced scale with your education.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by Nobody: 10:58pm On Jul 21, 2009

Many parents that have students that are brilliant, tend to send them to medical school. . . .happens almost all the time (i am no exception)
That stuff can be a double-edged sword, identities may be gained or lost - i feel it is very very wrong (but we cant sue them or can we?)

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 3:28pm On Jul 24, 2009

Thanks yall,
Anyways it aint easy, we medical studs face a lotta issues men, At times i regret, at times i love it especially when am in da hospital, love helping the sick, Yet cant help maself when it come to "love" cos am in d damn Medical field, it hurts, rili does
Now i say these cos i think we might head 4 d rocks, things are already changing btw us, not her fault though, that am n med skul, But still it hurts,
Thanks 4 ya comments, anything new wudkinda let yall know.

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by fizzybaba(m): 3:56pm On Jul 24, 2009

an interesting topic for anything; debate, book , name it

a lot of factors are involved. future,feelings,fears,challenging realities.

u must priotize these parameters.

wether u get married to her nw, to her later or never to her, u must secure your FUTURE! dont let anything affect ur studies

dont do anything out of fear.emotions can be overwhelming but the reality is that there are a thousand ladies out there who can make u feel the way you feel about her.if u must marry her soonest(which i am nt against) dont do it out of fear of losing her.its a terrible feeling to wish u didnt do certain things in certain manner.

keep loving her(cuz love is not easy to find), keep communicating and if she is DESTINED to be urs, u will be together

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by na2day2(m): 6:31pm On Jul 24, 2009

esosa4real:

Thanks yall,
Anyways it aint easy, we medical studs face a lotta issues men, At times i regret, at times i love it especially when am in da hospital, love helping the sick, Yet cant help maself when it come to "love" cos am in d damn Medical field, it hurts, rili does
Now i say these cos i think we might head 4 d rocks, things are already changing btw us, not her fault though, that am n med skul, But still it hurts,
Thanks 4 ya comments, anything new wudkinda let yall know.

dont worry, u will be alright wink

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by kalabi: 10:43am On Jul 27, 2009

o boy, if this relationship hit rock u cause it. from the tone of yr last response i can see that u r begining to loose hope on this girl and u r to be blame for this. i challenge u that u don't really love this girl if u do, u won't suddenly develop code feet on this relationship and u will brake the heart of this girl with this yr attitude. guide yr heart make up yr mind. yr study face it and keep contact with her. u r a man u sholud be able to manage the situation

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by esosa4real(m): 11:22am On Aug 05, 2010

HEY HEY HEY, This is a 1year anniverssary of this my wonerful post. yeah its been a year now since i posted this question
that sprouted lotta candid replies, comments and discussions
Was Just passing by and had to read thru all over again. i must say its one of the intresting, intruging and informative post on such issues of the heart, on this forum.
Well a lot has happened since then, i wont have the time now to start writing em cause its gonna be along one, have to be in clinic soon (doing ma sub-specialties), (still a student-500l)
But all in all, ma gurl is almost thru with service, we have seen quite a lot more unlike before in this past 1yr but now they have been some excapades both @ her end and mine too, ( i definately know that, this anoda long gist)

Yet i stil love her and been trying to hold her somehow from ending relationship cos she indirectly almost did sometime , guess she was tired.
And yet, i still hang on and plan to support her but whenever she decides to truly leave, i think i will let her go but hoping i will be able to hold back the tears,
But yet, at least i understand, so wont blame her or myslef, but hoping i get to live thru it and move on whenever it happens.
Love is SICK.
Love y'all,

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by oyinda3(f): 11:38am On Aug 05, 2010

well i'm very happy 4 u. . . u have any doctor friends? 'cause i want to marry a doctor too jk tongue

but on a more serious note, there is another member who is in a similar situation as u i think his username is Klassyguy you can look his posts up and read his topics for more advice and such.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-310654.0.html

Re: Is Marriage Possible Soon? A 22year Old Medical Student And 22yrd Old Graduate? by 5p1naz(m): 11:57am On Aug 05, 2010

think about it yourself and answer your own question . . . . stop been dependent on some bunch of nairalanders. . . . ahhhh u pipl sef. . . no be ur mind go decide for u ni

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