Please NL, pardon my curiosity or may be insecurity. Sometimes ago I changed my phone,so I gave my BlackBerry phone to my wife, and of course my PIN remains,although I switched my contact PIN to the new phone and broadcast to inform my friends about the swap. Later,my wife asked me one day about this my particular friend,and I confirmed he is my friend but told her to give him my new PIN. To my surprise,I found out both of them still chat despite my friend now having my PIN and still chat with me. One thing that baffles me is that,I did not introduce them to each other, neither did both meet in my presence.

My friend is also married but,I really don't think is ideal for a man to engage in such familiarity with a friend's wife,especially without the consent of the husband.

Please,I need your matured and decent advice. should I be worried?

This is simple.

Tell your friend to stop chatting with your wife. Tell your wife to stop chatting with your friend, and it is important you ask if phone numbers have been exchanged between them, and if yes and they still communicate via phone calls.

Then there is a problem.

There is no way a woman and a man can be "ORDINARY" friends without that sexual thing being there(HungerBAD 1980).

No matter how close you are to your friend, please call him to order, and tell him to stop further communication with your wife. Then as for your wife? what kind of wife makes friends with the husbands friends to the extent of chatting with them?these modern women. Call your wife to order too, and hopefully they have not started sleeping with each other.

The Husbands are usually the last to know if the wife cheats.

Hmmmmm! Na from clap them take dey enter dance. OP, please do tell her your observations.

Yes you should,
not about your 'friend',
Be worried about your wife.
Be very worried.

If u trust ur friend & ur wife, there should be no cause for alarm.

your friend has no blame,although he may be an azzhole he still as no blame...

the blame and fault is from wife whos keeping close contact with ur friend without u knowing....

men are bound to make advances toward women either married or not but its up to the women to say No and feel insulted....Be Careful and Alert...

Love doesnt gurranty hapiness or happy home

Soon, people will start asking question like "I caught my best friend making love to my wife, what should I do?"

The world is getting dumber.

Wetin dem dey chat about?


End time chatting


If I catch dem on it, na to break d fone straight, women creating wahala since 1000BC.

The darker the berry, the better..

Lol.. Forbidden fruits are the sweetest..

Men will always be Men.. #sadtruth
She go see wetin she dey find o.

Yes be worried. If your friend was a mutual friend to you and your wife, that is understood. In this case both have clearly hid their new found friendship cleverly away from you.

Nothing may be wrong now but close communications beget emotional attachment. I am sure you don't want that. Tell your wife to stop forthwith. But you need to keep checking. If she make any single attempt again, then u need to talk sternly to your friend/enemy.

On a lighter note, I have seen two friends exchange wives after divorce. You should find a way to befriend his wife too. Lol

stevejoy:
Please NL, pardon my curiosity or may be insecurity. Sometimes ago I changed my phone,so I gave my BlackBerry phone to my wife, and of course my PIN remains,although I switched my contact PIN to the new phone and broadcast to inform my friends about the swap. Later,my wife asked me one day about this my particular friend,and I confirmed he is my friend but told her to give him my new PIN. To my surprise,I found out both of them still chat despite my friend now having my PIN and still chat with me. One thing that baffles me is that,I did not introduce them to each other, neither did both meet in my presence.

My friend is also married but,I really don't think is ideal for a man to engage in such familiarity with a friend's wife,especially without the consent of the husband.

Please,I need your matured and decent advice. should I be worried?

You better stop the rapport going on with them before NL hears stories that touch..it aint coz u don't trust ur woman or frnd but many things is wrong with that relationship. If they don't sleep with each other, ur lady can be telling him things dt goes on in ur marriage/home and be asking for advice thereby exposing ur home to third parties. "If walls don't open, lizards won't enter"...think about that!

If the chat continues, I'm scared it might break your home. Your wife having a private chat with your friend is not safe at all and at the end, she says it's the devil's work to whatever the outcome might be. Some woman just need to think the right way before someone put them through. Pls let her stop the convo

lesbiangirl:


You better stop the rapport going on with them before NL hears stories that touch..it aint coz u don't trust ur woman or frnd but many things is wrong with that relationship. If they don't sleep with each other, ur lady can be telling him things dt goes on in ur marriage/home and be asking for advice thereby exposing ur home to third parties. "If walls don't open, lizards won't enter"...think about that!

true talk o, lizard fit e no enter if person wall no open o

what are they chatting about?
Is your birthday coming up and your wife arranging a surprise party?

If not and they are just chatting as friends then you are right to be worried,
not worried because she chats with your friend but because neither of them deemed it fit to mention it and hid their friendship from you keeping you in the dark.
What have they to hide and if its all above board

Have a chat with your wife and make her understand that you are not happy with this and why.
I hope you come to the table with clean hands too, otherwise it will be difficult telling her what to do.

Thanks so much guys for the great advices,you guys are my real companions.

Well,they have exchange numbers already. I did warn my wife off this initially and also spoke to my friend but I didn't want to be aggressive or confront my friend on the issue, I believe in diplomacy. My friend told me he only advise her...which means she discusses what happens in my family with my friend.

As a yoruba adage says " alatise lo maa matise Ara e"

Thanks once again guys.

stevejoy:
Thanks so much guys for the great advices,you guys are my real companions.

Well,they have exchange numbers already. I did warn my wife off this initially and also spoke to my friend but I didn't want to be aggressive or confront my friend on the issue, I believe in diplomacy. My friend told me he only advise her...which means she discusses what happens in my family with my friend.

As a yoruba adage says " alatise lo maa matise Ara e"

Thanks once again guys.

What kinda advice does he give her that you can't give?
I was going to say the chat could be harmless until I saw this comment. .

You need to call your wife to order...

stevejoy:
Thanks so much guys for the great advices,you guys are my real companions.

Well,they have exchange numbers already. I did warn my wife off this initially and also spoke to my friend but I didn't want to be aggressive or confront my friend on the issue, I believe in diplomacy. My friend told me he only advise her...which means she discusses what happens in my family with my friend.

As a yoruba adage says " alatise lo maa matise Ara e"

Thanks once again guys.

From the above, i could deduce they're already having something serious.

Have your wife been showing you the contents of their chats or does she delet it?

Your friend has a wife, why not take this issue to his wife so that she'll be aware and on guard too.

I will advice you spy on your wife closely. Keep trust aside and do the needful. Its only the people you trust that can betray and deal with you.

stevejoy:
Thanks so much guys for the great advices,you guys are my real companions.

Well,they have exchange numbers already. I did warn my wife off this initially and also spoke to my friend but I didn't want to be aggressive or confront my friend on the issue, I believe in diplomacy. My friend told me he only advise her...which means she discusses what happens in my family with my friend.

As a yoruba adage says " alatise lo maa matise Ara e"

Thanks once again guys.

Ah so there is more to it
Agony uncle & aunty don enter
I don't know why people do this
What kind of advise is she looking for?
The person advising her does she know if his own house is in better order or even any order at all?
Does she know the motive of the person giving her advise?
If you need advise (usually its not advise they are looking for, just someone to report their partner to) then go to an independent person who has no ulterior motive who will advise you without any emotion.


My only advise for you is When you have done what you need to do and after all the dust settles, try and find out what you did/did not do that she is reporting you to your friend......
you may learn something you didn't already know

Be careful of that your friend too
A friend who is advising someone else's wife but did not think to discuss the matter for advise with his friend.
Steve, iyalagbaja fi ejo e sun mi o bla bla bla
Thats what good friends who want peace do.

Now that you've spoken to the most important party (your wife) and she's stopped (hopefully), you need to search yourself and your input into your marriage. Ask yourself why was it that your wife felt so comfortable speaking to your friend rather than bring her issues, confidences, hopes and fears to you. In going about life,you may have been neglecting her (come home,eat dinner,blank her till Hot or bedtime) or you were doing "Strong Naija Man" _tm (carry strong face and let her know "her place" so she "respects" you).
You may feel you're doing a lot but what you think she needs and what she knows she needs are quite different and he best way to find out is to speak to her calmly and in a manner to understand. A lot of men do this and whilst it works, it has some side effects that most are blind to. If you don't search inwards and be more loving and communicative, next time, it will be a stranger she turns to. And he may want to enjoy more (a woman who confides in a man usually ends up feeling a lot more for him than friendship).

And you probably wanna keep a casual eye on your friend. Guy knew what he as doing. Imagine, guy man is appreciating that which you have taken for granted

Hmmm,I am a very patient man,I could be quiet,tolerant and stupid but intelligent. I give people chances to act and express their intent,before I talking or react,you must have exceeded your limit.

On the matter,my wife has been away since last year,though still within Nigeria but different State,Western part precisely while am in the North,due to job(Banker), I visit her and my kid and they come around too. I am also planning on relocating or move them with me. Which my friend, presumably or pretending to be advising we move together. He has never showed me their chats content,claiming he does not keep chat history,which I did not question and my wife will also just tell me what they discuss.

Anyways,I want to really have a genuine reason to react,some evidences. Then I will clear the air.

They can do whatever they want now but when I find out anything stupid...I am sure heads will roll,I won't care the consequences.

stevejoy:
Please NL, pardon my curiosity or may be insecurity. Sometimes ago I changed my phone,so I gave my BlackBerry phone to my wife, and of course my PIN remains,although I switched my contact PIN to the new phone and broadcast to inform my friends about the swap. Later,my wife asked me one day about this my particular friend,and I confirmed he is my friend but told her to give him my new PIN. To my surprise,I found out both of them still chat despite my friend now having my PIN and still chat with me. One thing that baffles me is that,I did not introduce them to each other, neither did both meet in my presence.

My friend is also married but,I really don't think is ideal for a man to engage in such familiarity with a friend's wife,especially without the consent of the husband.

Please,I need your matured and decent advice. should I be worried?

it may necessarily not mean anything but that doesn't mean u should relent and be calm, be at alert cos ur guy may steal ur wife from ur eyes.

Abegi make I hear word....

Swear with knife and cutlass that you don't have ladies you chat and flirt with on social media... no wetin person day do na where e eye go dey...


Make I hear word abeg...

there wouldn't have been any big deal if they were introduced to each other. but all the same, you don't have to jump into conclusion that there is something between them. they may just be friendly

stevejoy:
Hmmm,I am a very patient man,I could be quiet,tolerant and stupid but intelligent. I give people chances to act and express their intent,before I talking or react,you must have exceeded your limit.

On the matter,my wife has been away since last year,though still within Nigeria but different State,Western part precisely while am in the North,due to job(Banker), I visit her and my kid and they come around too. I am also planning on relocating or move them with me. Which my friend, presumably or pretending to be advising we move together. He has never showed me their chats content,claiming he does not keep chat history,which I did not question and my wife will also just tell me what they discuss.

Anyways,I want to really have a genuine reason to react,some evidences. Then I will clear the air.

They can do whatever they want now but when I find out anything stupid...I am sure heads will roll,I won't care the consequences.

Why would head roll. Don't go and destroy your precious life. If you feel uncomfortable, you have a choice of divorce. You can get young girl anytime.