In need of help .

what do u do when you have a hubby you feel does not love and appreciate you?

This is the ordel of a woman with kids that the hubby is soooooo tied to his relative's aprons
He has his brother and nephew staying in the house without the consent of the woman yet she never complained up until the younger brother beat her up. The boy later came to apologize and the wife forgave him but told the hubby that the boy has to move out of the house which the husband refused.
Every week at least 2 friends of his from their village too pumps in .So basically there is not privacy at all and he will be in the living room with them till late at night before he enters the bedroom or even sleep with his brothers in the living room as the house is just two bedroom apartment.
Anytime the wife refuses to cook for the brothers he withholds her feeding allowance for weeks and would not even feed his 4 & 2 YEARS children. IT means no money for the wife for weeks or months until he needs sex.
My shock is that his is supposedly a xtian brother from the south west.
Then the brother cooks for the husband and they will move the bed to the living room and sleep together (Husband, brother (27) and Nephew (15).
Once when the hubby told the younger bro to do some work around the house. The bro fought him and almost broke the husbands head so he does not frown again at what the younger bro does . he gets away with everything EVEN BEATING THE WIFE UP .
Is it true wives cant tell in –laws to leave the house in Yoruba land? The wife even suggested renting an apartment for the boys else where but the hubby does not have the liver to do it.
Now the wife stays in her room with he r kids cos she cant even get o hold the remote control in living room cos it like its glued to the bro in –laws hand.
The hubby always tell her to calm down that its for a while and its gone on for 5 years .
The brother in law controls everything even hold the keys to the new house that the husband is building.
The brother now sleeps with the hubby while the wife sleeps with her kids separately.
Nigerians help!
Tried bringing pastors in and counselors but the hubby runs from any body that tried to talk sense into him .
The wife even tried going away from home once for a day but nobody looked for her ad the kids instead the brother went to the marketand started cooking the elder sister too left her husband 's house to come and wash he hubby's clothes.
The wife is gainfully employed.

Na wa o. I really dont wat to say. Thank God she is gainfully employd. I know it is hard but she shuld ignore all of dem includin d hubby and focus on raisin good kids and develop her r/ship wit God . Patience shuld be her strongest virtue . However if she suspects her life and dat of her children is in danger she shuld leave . She needs divine interventn.

Na wao.
I suspect the relatives where staying with the hubby even b4 marriage and If so,the woman shld have outrightly refused that b4 marriage.Too late for that now anyway.I wud say,let the woman ignore them(hubby,brother and nephew) and just concentrate on her work and kids,Its really difficult sha (shes more or less like a single mum).
Is it that the brother/Nephew dont have their own accomodation or they just want to wreck her home?If the woman is close to her MIL,the MIL shld be able to help her chase away those undesirable elements.
If the beatings continue,i wud suggest she moves away with her kids for sometime

.

Mr cracles, are u avoiding me?

Perhaps I am naive but I dont believe there is not more to this story than is being tabled here.

pardon my pessimism.

exactly what i am thinking too,lets hear the real story

It sure happens, some guys are just lily livered. Never get married to a guy who can not take his own decisions. Didnt she see the traits in him before marriage? It realy does not start in a day. As for the younger brother, i just pity him coz he will be married one day and i hope and i hope that nemesis does not catch up with him.

An abusive marriage is not the best for any woman. For the junior brother to beat the wife is the height of insanity.

Suggest the wife packs out with the children since she's gainfully employed.

Maybe her abscence will make the hubby think right.

Cheers.

There is a lot more to this story than the poster has put here. All these issues have an underlying cause feeding it.
Why would the Man prefer to sleep in the living room with his brothers, and not in the bedroom with his wife.
Either there were marital problems before the brothers moved in, or the moving in caused marital problems, which have now progressed beyond the initial stage. Can the poster enlighten us?

To shed more light on this topic .

The hubby wants the wife to take the beatings of his brother in good faith and still not say a word in the house. He wants the wife to continue cooking for the brother while the brother does not lift a finge around the house.

The hubby wants the brother to interfere and be in the know on everythingf going on between the couple which the wife frowns upon.So he is torn i between and feels he has come a long way with his brother. So because the brother and the wife are not in good terms the hubby decides to take the brother side.

Even after the wife was beaten by the bro in law . the hubbby was begging the wife not to tell anybody.So she went ahead to tell relatives since he would not do anything about it. which he did not like.

I hope that answers the question.