For some days now,İ've been feeling out of sorts;like İ'm not myself. After seeing my younger sister's brand new laptop(my dream laptop Sony Viao), what İ feel is anger,hot raging anger.
İ am angry because my parents never did things like that for me. İ never had them meet my needs like that without me having to beg,plead or scream for it. There were many times than İ can care to remember when İ had to go without because i pitied them and didn't want to bother them. İ would go months without asking for money because İ was a fool. İn my final year,İ was sent to resume without any kind of money.İ had to take my meager savings to buy my provisions so İ don't starve.İ guess İ was a fool because they can obviously afford things like new laptops and other tech trinkets. İ am now at that age where İ'm to fend for myself but İ can not help feeling deprived. So many ways my life would have been easier in school,so many opportunities wasted that İ could not take advantage of because of lack and the low self esteem i suffered throughout my academic career if only i had parents that cared. İ hate my parents.İ hate them for their obvious favoritism and their conditional love and the feelings of inadequacy İ thought İ had overcome that is overwhelming me now.
İ will pay them back in their own coin. So help God. They will know what it feels like to have one of your children despise you.

P.S: İ only want thoughtful and caring advice on this thread. Any insults or boneheaded comment will get a similar treatment from me.
İ'm a very loving and kind person on a normal day but İ'm having a really bad day.
Your kind contributions are appreciated. Thank you.

Are you the firstborn?

^^^
I was going to ask that too.
Op,what position are you in your family and how many children are there?All the children in a family usually will not get the same treatment sometimes because the parents are partial but most times because circumstances change.
If I'm to use my family as an example,we boys came first before the last two girls.The girls obviously got better treatments and funds.Was I angry they did?No.I understood that since they were the last two and family expenses were less,they could afford more(my parents).So it's how you see it too and understand.
Could your parents really afford much then while you schooled?

If I'm right,you are a graduate now.Don't be weighed down by the past.Look forward to your service and what you can make out of your life now.Your life is ahead of you now.

This is serious , egbon Lalasticlala , mynd44 make una kon see something..

5minsmadness:
Are you the firstborn?

Yes. İ should have mentioned that.

Kayoski:
This is serious , egbon Lalasticlala , mynd44 make una kon see something..

Funny.

Sorry take it easy. Maybe sit them down and tell them how you feel/ how you suffered in school and all you lost out on? . It might not help but it won't hurt to try?.

Also maybe their financial situation has improved lately and maybe they can give you some money to help you get set up in life?. Please talk to them, don't internalise this rage. You may be surprised by the outcome.

It may not be because they love your sister more, but it may just be because they trust you more and feel you're more responsible than she is.
They may feel if they don't provide everything she wants, she may be easily influenced and start carrying aristo.
Oh well, it's one of those things.
I'm sure your parents will rise to the occasion when you need something and you ASK, so stop getting angry.

redwriter:

Yes. İ should have mentioned that.

This is a common experience with us firstborns. We are the experiments, the scapegoats of upbringing. Your parents have learned from their experience of training u and have decided to tone it down a bit hence the apparent favoritism. Also it is possible thier financial status and technological exposure have improved somewhat since your school days and they now see the importance of buying those things.
The funny thing is they will still see you as the reliable one at the end of the day. Don't hate them and try not to be angry. Rest assured you are not alone in this experience.

Also recant your usage of God's name. U can't expect him to answer that prayer in your favour when it goes against His 4th commandment, the only commandment with a promise of longevity.

It is well.

thorpido:
^^^
I was going to ask that too.
Op,what position are you in your family and how many children are there?All the children in a family usually will not get the same treatment sometimes because the parents are partial but most times because circumstances change.
If I'm to use my family as an example,we boys came first before the last two girls.The girls obviously got better treatments and funds.Was I angry they did?No.I understood that since they were the last two and family expenses were less,they could afford more(my parents).So it's how you see it too and understand.
Could your parents really afford much then while you schooled?

If I'm right,you are a graduate now.Don't be weighed down by the past.Look forward to your service and what you can make out of your life now.Your life is ahead of you now.

Thank you for your kind advice.

5minsmadness:

This is a common experience with us firstborns. We are the experiments, the scapegoats of upbringing. Your parents have learned from their experience of training u and have decided to tone it down a bit hence the apparent favoritism. Also it is possible thier financial status and technological exposure have improved somewhat since your school days and they now see the importance of buying those things.
The funny thing is they will still see you as the reliable one at the end of the day. Don't hate them and try not to be angry. Rest assured you are not alone in this experience.

Also recant your usage of God's name. U can't expect him to answer that prayer in your favour when it goes against His 4th commandment, the only commandment with a promise of longevity.

It is well.

Thank you. İ can't help feeling the way i do but İ'll try.

fem29:
Sorry take it easy. Maybe sit them down and tell them how you feel/ how you suffered in school and all you lost out on? . It might not help but it won't hurt to try?.

Also maybe their financial situation has improved lately and maybe they can give you some money to help you get set up in life?. Please talk to them, don't internalise this rage. You may be surprised by the outcome.

We are not a bare your hearts kind of family. İ just want to get set up on my own two feet and move far away from them.

eyinjuege:
It may not be because they love your sister more, but it may just be because they trust you more and feel you're more responsible than she is.
They may feel if they don't provide everything she wants, she may be easily influenced and start carrying aristo.
Oh well, it's one of those things.
I'm sure your parents will rise to the occasion when you need something and you ASK, so stop getting angry.

Thank you.

You are just on the first path to the healing process. Don't let bitterness or anger fester in your heart, find a way to diffuse it, pray or sing if you are a christian.

redwriter:


We are not a bare your hearts kind of family. İ just want to get set up on my own two feet and move far away from them.

Hun it really won't hurt to try.

I know what it feels like so I can't blame you for feeling the way you do, it is well

redwriter:

Yes. İ should have mentioned that.

Sorry ehn. It's quite normal with we first borns. It's not cos they love her more or don't care about you, circumstances differ sometimes. I can relate with some of what you did. Aren't you close to your mom?

itzhanie001:


Sorry ehn. It's quite normal with we first borns. It's not cos they love her more or don't care about you, circumstances differ sometimes. I can relate with some of what you did. Aren't you close to your mom?

.

No İ'm not. She is a critical and a negative person and İ do my best to not hang around her much. İt's difficult as İ still live at home but İ manage. Sincerely,its been a terrible day for me.

Lol @ redwriter. Guess what One funny thing about your current state of mind is that it will pass.

You need to develop emotional intelligence in other to understand that, that young girl is your younger sister and she deserves better things than you. In the sense that, even if parents did not buy it, It should have been you buying it.

She should not experience what you experienced. My mum never bought me a laptop when I was going to school, but upon my younger brothers admission, he immediately got a laptop and I WAS SO HAPPY he did.

Dont look at it from your current angle, look at it from a loving angle. Your sister is getting good treatment.

Besides, very soon, you will look back and laugh at your own current folly and wonder why you were so upset. Its piece of cake okay?.

I guess you are young and thats why you feeling this way. Let it pass, ask for a laptop if you want, or ask for support and add cash or just jokingly pass the message to them that you feel rejected etc.

This your parents you think you want to pay back may continue to be so blessed by God because of your current statement that they may not even need anything from you till they die. So love your sister and be happy for her and say sorry to God for harboring hatred.

In conclusion, hatred or worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesnt take you anywhere.

[quote author=nmreports post=43835431]Lol @ redwriter. Guess what One funny thing about your current state of mind is that it will pass.

You need to develop emotional intelligence in other to understand that, that young girl is your younger sister and she deserves better things than you. In the sense that, even if parents did not buy it, It should have been you buying it.

She should not experience what you experienced. My mum never bought me a laptop when I was going to school, but upon my younger brothers admission, he immediately got a laptop and I WAS SO HAPPY he did.

Dont look at it from your current angle, look at it from a loving angle. Your sister is getting good treatment.

Besides, very soon, you will look back and laugh at your own current folly and wonder why you were so upset. Its piece of cake okay?.

I guess you are young and thats why you feeling this way. Let it pass, ask for a laptop if you want, or ask for support and add cash or just jokingly pass the message to them that you feel rejected etc.

This your parents you think you want to pay back may continue to be so blessed by God because of your current statement that they may not even need anything from you till they die. So love your sister and be happy for her and say sorry to God for harboring hatred.

In conclusion, hatred or worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesnt take you anywhere.[/quote


Wow.what a cool response! To be honest,after reading your post İm beginning to feel a little silly. lol.
Thanks.Truly appreciate your advice.
İ'm still mad a little sha.

redwriter:
.

No İ'm not. She is a critical and a negative person and İ do my best to not hang around her much. İt's difficult as İ still live at home but İ manage. Sincerely,its been a terrible day for me.

Eeyah. But learn to be happy for ur sis and things will get better. My sister recieves money from my parents, I don't yet I buy things for her. You are the big sis of the family, the one they all look up to, so don't think of rebelling over this issue cos u're just being emotional. You might think she is that way but she loves you nonetheless

@OP really sorry about that..

you need to take a chill pill.

@flokii. You know you didn't say anything,right?

.

@elektra I say wow at your amazing post. I am grateful for your kind words. Thank you.

@ eyinjuege and @nmreports.
I have taken your advice and asked for my own laptop!(shet,i didn't know this laptop ish was paining me like this.lol)
Anyway,keeping fingers crossed.

redwriter:
@ eyinjuege and @nmreports.
I have taken your advice and asked for my own laptop!(shet,i didn't know this laptop ish was paining me like this.lol)
Anyway,keeping fingers crossed.

Lol
Its necessary jare.
Good luck

redwriter:
@flokii. You know you didn't say anything,right?

it's quite normal.. for 1st & 2nd born

you'll outgrow it bliv me... when you start toasting Ladies, with their shakara and all

when you start working.. you'll buy all that and more...

thingz would av changed sef... just cheer up & enjoy life

redwriter:
@ eyinjuege and @nmreports.
I have taken your advice and asked for my own laptop!(shet,i didn't know this laptop ish was paining me like this.lol)
Anyway,keeping fingers crossed.

Nawa ooo ... Are you asking for the laptop because you need it or because you're so jealous your sister has?

You're a graduate, you should be more concerned about making a life for yourself instead being so jealous your sister is supposedly living better life than you did.
So you wish your sister to experience same 'hardship' you did? So you don't expect things to get better?
Are you in competition with your sis?
Can't see any good reasons in your writeups that suggest your parents are partial. .only laptop story? Nawa oo ??
You're just hurting yourself being unnecessarily jealous. . As a graduate, the quality of life you lead now is solely dependent on YOU; stop dwelling on 'irrelevant' past because I'm sure no parent will send their kids back to school penniless when they've the money. .

wish I can type all I want to say

All the best...

op, let it leave your heart and always laugh it off., i remember telling my younger sibling that they ask for too much and i didnt get such in my own time, do you know what he said? DID I ASK YOU TO COME FIRST?
really if they dont even give him, i will get it for him cos things were difficult then, and he came when things became easy so he should enjoy it jare.

PresVA:
Nawa ooo ... Are you asking for the laptop because you need it or because you're so jealous your sister has?

You're a graduate, you should be more concerned about making a life for yourself instead being so jealous your sister is supposedly living better life than you did.
So you wish your sister to experience same 'hardship' you did? So you don't expect things to get better?
Are you in competition with your sis?
Can't see any good reasons in your writeups that suggest your parents are partial. .only laptop story? Nawa oo ??
You're just hurting yourself being unnecessarily jealous. . As a graduate, the quality of life you lead now is solely dependent on YOU; stop dwelling on 'irrelevant' past because I'm sure no parent will send their kids back to school penniless when they've the money. .

wish I can type all I want to say

All the best...

Bro you have written well but you know people are different.
In the write-up, s/he too needs the laptop and if s/he gets it then Goodluck.
Life is easy jare.
@redwrite, good luck.