Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

You're right, a good marriage is built on tough times. But I still believe you draw strength from the good times you've had to face whatever challenges fate and marriage throws at you. Perfection is difficult but striving to achieve it is paramount. Cheating men are everywhere but do we ignore pampering them because they have that tendency? I hate and despise adultary, it's the highest form of ungodliness and betrayal but what really can a good woman do other than do her best and hope for the best?
Blade21 please I'm judging no one. The piece you quoted was a reaction to another post. Different approach work for different people per time, I believe that too. I was thinking aloud, I'm judging no one for I'm very imperfect.

pcguru1:

lol by making that statement "A lot of babes can't cook" and "you cook your own food", she kinda got you there
@OP
I don't see a big deal, no matter how much i might love someone's cooking there are certain ways some women cook that u can't resist, ave left from lagos to ilishan to eat from Iya Gbadun before, she sells ofada rice and it's out of the world. However the smiling and chit chat that's another entirely which i don't support. it should be business and business

pcguru1:

lol by making that statement "A lot of babes can't cook" and "you cook your own food", she kinda got you there
@OP
I don't see a big deal, no matter how much i might love someone's cooking there are certain ways some women cook that u can't resist, ave left from lagos to ilishan to eat from Iya Gbadun before, she sells ofada rice and it's out of the world. However the smiling and chit chat that's another entirely which i don't support. it should be business and business

You got my point

There is no vade mecum as to what will keep a man in a marriage.

If you cook oooo,na you sabi,you don't cook ooo,if the okolie's wants to eat out,and smile out and chat out...okolie must...

Bottom line,cook well so that when you have time to cook,Ete go no say food vendor deh learn,you don win "chopped". (chef m.sc,jp,gcfrc,Dr.)!!!

If women could be free enough to chat and sit under a male stylist for hours, what stops a man from chatting and smiling sheepishly at a sweet female food vendor who cooks sumptuous and extra delicious meals?

[quote author=Chidoks post=43857987][/quote]

Isn't it better to eat from a food vendor you know is neat, and you trust her/his food and the method of preparation? Not all food vendors are neat, not all follow hygienic practices, and not all cook delicious meals.
If you happen to discover one that does all that, why not stick with such?

richyblink1:
Been in the shoes of the said man before, I can relate.

There was this chick who normally comes to get my order daily, as I don't eat before leaving for work and finds it hard to take meal to the office.

It graduated to her getting my digits and calling often to know what I will eat. It extends to her coming personally to serve the food at our canteen even though it's already in a take away pack.

It equally graduated to my colleagues calling her my babe because she smiles whenever she comes to serve me and will ask about work and stuffs. I saw nothing bad about it till my colleagues pointed out that the lady is tripping.

It equally graduated to her calling my sweetie whenever she calls to take my order. That was when I lost my cool and told her enough. Warned her severely how it's bad for my image as a married man. In fact, my male colleagues were all speechless because I asked her to come and did it openly. While my female colleagues were happy especially the married ones that has been on my neck about not bringing meal to the office and my love for eating out.

Op, it depends on the up bringing of the said man, and his values. An irresponsible man would not wait for a lady food vendor to misbehave. They go all out depending on what triggers their lost

you are a good man keep it up am proud of you

Acidosis:
If women could be free enough to chat and sit under a male stylist for hours, what stops a man from chatting and smiling sheepishly at a sweet female food vendor who cooks sumptuous and extra delicious meals?

my dear oo I see nothing wrong with my bobo eating out if he likes let him smile from now till tomorrow for the lady I trust him tho he's not the smiling type

Blade21:
my dear oo I see nothing wrong with my bobo eating out if he likes let him smile from now till tomorrow for the lady I trust him tho he's not the smiling type

Hmmn, good to know you trust me

Acidosis:

Hmmn, good to know you trust me

hehehe you no be my bobo na

Blade21:
hehehe you no be my bobo na

I am your bobo.

Acidosis:
I am your bobo.

hahahaha

Blade21:
hahahaha

Yes oo

When u wan pack my dinner ?

I want pounded yam with vegetable scattered with snail, shrimps, periwinkle, very soft ponmo, stock fish and crayfish

Chidoks:

To me it's about doing the right thing. It's about showing love and care.
Keeping fit is the right thing to do, packing his lunch is the right thing to do, praying for your marriage is the right thing to do.
There's a way you pamper your man that he remembers you with fondness no matter what he does. Love begets love, care begets care.
I don't compare my home with anybody's. What happened in otedola and danjuma's homes shouldn't have anything to do with mine, after all I don't have all their details.
It's not a battle per se, it's taking care of your own.

Can you sure tips on how to pamper a wife

Acidosis:


Yes oo

When u wan pack my dinner ?

I want pounded yam with vegetable scattered with snail, shrimps, periwinkle, very soft ponmo, stock fish and crayfish

sweet heart please eat out you hear there's this very good joint with fine servers call me when you get there so we can eat together love you lol make my bobo catch you

Blade21:
sweet heart please eat out you hear there's this very good joint with fine servers call me when you get there so we can eat together love you lol make my bobo catch you

ahahahah I don't eat out please enter the kitchen

Acidosis:

ahahahah I don't eat out please enter the kitchen

you will learn dear

Acidosis:

ahahahah I don't eat out please enter the kitchen

you will learn dear

Blade21:
you will learn dear you will learn dear

Yes, I am ready to learn, but learning won't solve the current hunger

Chidoks:

Yes, it depends on what triggers their lust. But with your experience, you appreciate my observation and whatever ills that may erupt if that relationship is not checked and kept within its permitted boundaries.
That was a bold step you took there. Sometimes, it's not limited to your actions/ intentions but the way you may be read/ misread.

You are right. But the truth remains; eating out have got nothing to do with irresponsibility. A wayward person will always misbehave irrespective of the place and time.

The only solution is for one to separate emotions from business, social and environmental relationship/dealings. It should never go beyond hey, hi, good morning.

Bear in mind, it's good morning that brings about how are you. So limit all discussions to just about what lead to you two knowing.

Good morning

Blade21:
you are a good man keep it up am proud of you

Thanks. Nobody is actually good or bad, but upbringing, morales, discipline principles separates humans

Onegai:


(Blushes) thanks

@Chidoks

No-one is saying not to care for your husband. But don't assume doing all that will keep him not cheating. It will help as a small part of building your marriage. But if you rely on all that, it will shock you to learn that he doesn't value your sacrifice the same way. Because his own idea of pampering may be an expensive gift or something else.

Example: le hubbs was out of state and his office called him to say he had to travel to another state for meetings. He had no clothes with him and his work laptop (which had some necessary programs) was in Lagos. He was already planning on flying to Lagos, rush toVI to pack and then fly out again that same day through Ikeja. I got his laptop, packed his suitcase and sent the driver to meet him at the airport, prepared and not having to rush. He sent me all sorts of kissy emoticons that day...but he wouldn't do it for any meal because he loves eating out (he reads reviews and tries the places out) and would be bored if I made up a lunchbox of what he had for dinner the night before. He may appreciate the sacrifice but won't be impressed by it. And I would be upset, because I would have expectations of him that he shouldn't have to fulfil. Then resentment will come in and oh look, there's an unnecessary fight tagging along.

He values my problem-solving ability more than waking up at 6am to pack a lunchbox. Because anyone can pack a lunchbox. Which is why a man will compare you to his maid, because you and the maid offer the exact same skill-set. When you should be different. Because wives should bring more to the table than domestic skills and yes, domestic skills are important but not the be-all and end-all.

See?

you'v said it all