The joy of every parent is to see their wards excelling in their chosen careers in life knowing fully well that the time to enjoy the fruit of their labor is just standing by their side.

Fellow nairalanders for those of you who are catholics, you will understand better my ordeal as a 'disobedient' child according to my father because that is what he choose to call me then.

Am in my late thirties now and i remember with nostalgia all that happened during my growing up years. I attended the oldest catholic minor seminary in Nigeria years back. after my first six years in the minor seminary i proceeded to the major seminary which is regarded as an institution of higher learning in the catholic church

While in the seminary, i knew deep inside of me that my vocation was no where to be found in d seminary because i knew i was not called to be a priest. my father desperately desired me to. therefore, i made up my mind to pull out at the end of my first degree in philosophy which is my first five years in the seminary.

I met with my spritual director and disclosed to him what i intended to do at the end of my philosophy course in d seminary. please note that every catholic major seminary is an affiliate of one university or the other in nigeria. My spiritual director counselled that i should followed my heart. it was easy for me to take this bold step to quit because i knew my calling was not to be a priest. it finally came the day i wrote my final exams in the seminary(5th year)the feeling was so great that i appreciated God for revealing it to me that i wasn't cut out for the life of a celibate.
The news of my voluntary exit from the seminary shocked my parish priest, and members of my parish. my father was so devastated and i could not gather the courage to face him but eventually i did and let him into why i quit. every bits of explations and reasons i gave for quitting the seminary never made any sence to my father because he felt i broght shame upon the family by refusing to become a catholic priest.

At twenty years old i had my first degree and was ever qualified to go for my youth service but i declined and purchase a jamb form. i wrote the exams ans passed. i got admission to study economics in one the universities in the south south. i informed my dad about the admission but turned me down. my problem with him started from that day. he refused to sponsor my univetsity education but God favour smiled on me a family in US who knows my ordeal with my dad took up the responsibity of seeing me through school without my father knowing it. after four years i graduated with the best grade in my dept and for four year during that period my father kept malice with me without recourse to the fact that being a priest does'nt guarantee holiness or a sure ticket to heaven. i only did what i know was the best for me and my family.

Following

Honour thy father and thy Mother that you may live long, that you may live long, thats what my bible tells me

Op, why waste that 5 years. In the seminary when U know its not your calling. U should ve quit initially. Na because of girls and 'other things' made you to dislike celibacy. Anyway your father wants a rev fr in his family. You won't know how its feels by your actions except if you are in his shoes.you better go back and complete that call because youshould be a rev fr after 3-4yrs time

Look son, that your father gave birth to you doesn't mean he gave you life. Try to exaust every possible means of making peace with him. But if at the end he still remains adamant, ignore and damn him as we all have only but one life to live. He can't live his and live yours. I mean, if he missed being a Reverend's father, why don't he go back to seminary himself or at least pick up the catechist work at your local parish? Some dads are just horrible. Just blank that man while trusting God and doing all other things of life right. Someday he we will get his senses back and get off your back. My dad once tried bullying me. I switched of totally from him and four yrs after he became my best paddy. I bet he learnt i have come of age and decided to flow with the tide. Whatever you do, stay focussed and dont run into trouble cause thats when he start comming up with the "i told yous".
Goodluck man!

nerilove:
Op, why waste that 5 years. In the seminary when U know its not your calling. U should ve quit initially. Na because of girls and 'other things' made you to dislike celibacy. Anyway your father wants a rev fr in his family. You won't know how its feels by your actions except if you are in his shoes.you better go back and complete that call because youshould be a rev fr after 3-4yrs time

Crap!
why not go do it for him. Nigerians eh!

@OP why you sef collect d malice keep na?

you both need Jesus

DickDastardly:

Crap!
why not go do it for him. Nigerians eh!

You are very crazy. So if you are the father what will you do after spending a lot for all these years. Guy blame your sorry ass for all these years, time and money

Ezedon:
Honour thy father and thy Mother that you may live long, that you may live long, thats what my bible tells me

Lolzz.. .i dont even know where to start to deal with what you just wrote..
To you OP, thank God you've found your way, Try to find peace with your father and enjoy you life to the fullest.

nerilove:
You are very crazy. So if you are the father what will you do after spending a lot for all these years. Guy blame your sorry ass for all these years, time and money

Sorry if i sounded harsh.
Now do you have kids? I do and i won't want to determine what they become cause i'm not God. I can only advice them, but the end choice is their's to make.
What if Op listens to his dad but ends up becomming a randy promiscous priest? Lets be careful how we try to control other peoples life. We are all weak humans. None of us know tomorrow. I hate rigid humans. Variety and flexibility it is.

Skryptchex:

Lolzz.. .i dont even know where to start to deal with what you just wrote..
To you OP, thank God you've found your way, Try to find peace with your father and enjoy you life to the fullest.

good one

Ezedon:
Honour thy father and thy Mother that you may live long, that you may live long, thats what my bible tells me

not like this one my guy. this is pure spiritual issue that no one should dare influenced not even the parent.

igwegeorgiano:
not like this one my guy. this is pure spiritual issue that no one should dare influenced not even the parent.

exactly

nerilove:
Op, why waste that 5 years. In the seminary when U know its not your calling. U should ve quit initially. Na because of girls and 'other things' made you to dislike celibacy. Anyway your father wants a rev fr in his family. You won't know how its feels by your actions except if you are in his shoes.you better go back and complete that call because youshould be a rev fr after 3-4yrs time

not after l have eaten the forbiden fruit severally

DickDastardly:

good one

thanks bro though that was in d past now we relate very well and no frictions at all btw us

igwegeorgiano:
not after l have eaten the forbiden fruit severally

You mean those brown apple ...or was it white

igwegeorgiano:
thanks bro though that was in d past now we relate very well and no frictions at all btw us

Good to know.
Now make sure you don't try to frustrate your children too tomorrow with your own bogus dreams. Endavour to train them well but leave the crucial life decisions to them.
Remember, "We are all but pencils in the hands of the creator" - Wale Adenuga 1942

DickDastardly:

Crap!
why not go do it for him. Nigerians eh!

my bro i bet you it wasnt a waste rather it was a wonderful experience of a life time. the catholic seminary is very difference from many other seminaries that you know. they are known for academic excellence and sound spiritual teachings.

Ezedon:
Honour thy father and thy Mother that you may live long, that you may live long, thats what my bible tells me

If it's not ur calling, it would never ever be. His father should have become a priest himself if he really loves the vocation. I don't see what he did as dishonour. What if he became a priest and breaks his vow of celibacy? Abeg pple should learn to reason properly and stop following blindly what you don't know

Skryptchex:

You mean those brown apple ...or was it white

you know what am talking about see ya face like buhari yansh

So your love for women made you abandon God's service? I hope you are enjoying your fill now, I really feel sad for your dad, he had such high hopes for you.

Put yourself in your father's shoes, he must have dreamt of you making him proud by becoming a priest. Before you say it is your life and you decide what you should do with it, Samuel was not even conceived before his mother dedicated him to serve God as a priest. Try to understand why he reacted that way, good luck.

Na why ur popsy no become Referend Father since he wants such in the family

Pidggin:
So your love for women made you abandon God's service? I hope you are enjoying your fill now, I really feel sad for your dad, he had such high hopes for you.

Put yourself in your father's shoes, he must have dreamt of you making him proud by becoming a priest. Before you say it is your life and you decide what you should do with it, Samuel was not even conceived before his mother dedicated him to serve God as a priest. Try to understand why he reacted that way, good luck.

It was Samuel's destiny. He was preordained for that. Even he couldn't make good priests of his own sons.

mexyk:


It was Samuel's destiny. He was preordained for that. Even he couldn't make good priests of his own sons.

And how do you know you were not acting out of distraction, was Samson not destined to be a Nazarene? Did he not miss his way because of Delilah? You forget that you can do all things through Christ, you can even resist temptation from women if you wish

Naija Parents always trying to live their unfulfilled dreams through their children.

OP, don't beat yourself over that. There are times you just have to do some things in life to maintain your sanity.

People will always say whatever they want to say, their mouth, their business.

Love your parents,despite your dad being unsupportive. It's one of those things in life

Pidggin:


And how do you know you were not acting out of distraction, was Samson not destined to be a Nazarene? Did he not miss his way because of Delilah? You forget that you can do all things through Christ, you can even resist temptation from women if you wish

Abeg calm down. He wouldn't be 'distracted' if he was really called. Its not about love for women. You can't do it, you can't do it. Simple. He can still be of service to God in a million ways apart from that one. His dad should get over it already.

Pidggin:
So your love for women made you abandon God's service? I hope you are enjoying your fill now, I really feel sad for your dad, he had such high hopes for you.

Put yourself in your father's shoes, he must have dreamt of you making him proud by becoming a priest. Before you say it is your life and you decide what you should do with it, Samuel was not even conceived before his mother dedicated him to serve God as a priest. Try to understand why he reacted that way, good luck.

Just imagine.

so he should have strapped his father's dream on his back amd left his own dreams? You can't just burden a child with all your hopes and dreams without checking if that child is fit for that or if that is what the child even likes.

I like Ronald Reagan, thank Goodness I have a son, I will force him to become a president and I don't care if he has a political nature or not and he must do it because I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR HIM.. and he must be what I want him to be as long as I am paying the school fees.

this is the kind of burden thousands of Nigerian kids have to bear with a smile on their face. Some of them end up frustrated, some struggle and graduate and live unhappy lives because they have only lived their father's dream and they might NEVER get the chance to do what they have passion for.
sad life.

and as for Samuel who was sworn into priesthood before he was born, there was no place it was documented that such a priesthood required celibacy unlike the one the OP was being forced into. and Yes the op CHECKED HIMSELF and found out that he was gonna offend himself and God by remaining a celibate priest in order to please his father. Or would you have preferred him to add to the already worrisome number of priests who rape, have secret marriages, molest little boys while still sworn to celibacy and deceiving demselves and d church ?

Pidggin:


And how do you know you were not acting out of distraction, was Samson not destined to be a Nazarene? Did he not miss his way because of Delilah? You forget that you can do all things through Christ, you can even resist temptation from women if you wish

see how you are saying it so easy and so lightly. Samson was a Nazarene and he did so many wahala upon wahala even before he met Delilah. He did not MISS HIS WAY because of Delilah, he had always had dealings with the philistines and since God knows the end from the beginning, then I can say it was his destiny that Delilah would betray him just as it was Jesus destiny to be betrayed by Judas. Remember that God told sammy's mother that he would be born FOR A PURPOSE.

and you say we can do ALL THINGS in christ Jesus even resist women.. Have you ever been a man before ?
Someone on the way to becoming a priest found out that it was gonna be a problem and he turned back, that is a real brave and honest (in this matter) man. Unike those who will stay there and please their father and throw a big Ordination party and spend the rest of their lives m@sturbating and having secret affairs.

And since YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS, through Christ, why don't you try walking on water or become a celibate woman till 2020, just 4 years.

ireneidiva:

Abeg calm down. He wouldn't be 'distracted' if he was really called. Its not about love for women. You can't do it, you can't do it. Simple. He can still be of service to God in a million ways apart from that one. His dad should get over it already.

No Oh! kai I no gree...

he must wear a collar and climb the alter and must b a priest before he can be of service to God. He must make his father's dream come true. I guess his mother wanted him to be a deep ocean welding engineer right after being a priest... he has to do that too. .

afterall, the bible says honour thy father and thy mother

naijathings:


Just imagine.

so he should have strapped his father's dream on his back amd left his own dreams? You can't just burden a child with all your hopes and dreams without checking if that child is fit for that or if that is what the child even likes.

I like Ronald Reagan, thank Goodness I have a son, I will force him to become a president and I don't care if he has a political nature or not and he must do it because I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR HIM.. and he must be what I want him to be as long as I am paying the school fees.

this is the kind of burden thousands of Nigerian kids have to bear with a smile on their face. Some of them end up frustrated, some struggle and graduate and live unhappy lives because they have only lived their father's dream and they might NEVER get the chance to do what they have passion for.
sad life.

and as for Samuel who was sworn into priesthood before he was born, there was no place it was documented that such a priesthood required celibacy unlike the one the OP was being forced into. and Yes the op CHECKED HIMSELF and found out that he was gonna offend himself and God by remaining a celibate priest in order to please his father. Or would you have preferred him to add to the already worrisome number of priests who rape, have secret marriages, molest little boys while still sworn to celibacy and deceiving demselves and d church ?

"The plans I have for you are for good not of evil" as long as his father's plans for him are as stated above what is wrong with following it?

It seems the issue with you here is celibacy? Well, other men like him are practicing and have successfully practiced it, hence I believe it is not impossible. If you make enquiries from those priests they will tell you it is not easy, but very possible. He can always pick a mentor and learn from him.

The did has been done already so no point crying over spilled milk, I only tried to make the OP understand why his father reacted that way.

naijathings:


see how you are saying it so easy and so lightly. Samson was a Nazarene and he did so many wahala upon wahala even before he met Delilah. He did not MISS HIS WAY because of Delilah, he had always had dealings with the philistines and since God knows the end from the beginning, then I can say it was his destiny that Delilah would betray him just as it was Jesus destiny to be betrayed by Judas. Remember that God told sammy's mother that he would be born FOR A PURPOSE.

and you say we can do ALL THINGS in christ Jesus even resist women.. Have you ever been a man before ?
Someone on the way to becoming a priest found out that it was gonna be a problem and he turned back, that is a real brave and honest (in this matter) man. Unike those who will stay there and please their father and throw a big Ordination party and spend the rest of their lives m@sturbating and having secret affairs.

And since YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS, through Christ, why don't you try walking on water or become a celibate woman till 2020, just 4 years.

I have never been a man, but men like him successfully practice it, is it that they have four heads? I am not talking of those who involve themselves in secret affairs, I mean those who are clean.

Five years spent thinking about his calling while raising his father's hope? The did has been done, I am in no way chastising him, I just want him to empathize with his dad.