Lesson 1:�
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.�
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.�
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor, �
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'�
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.�
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.�
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'�
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.�
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'�
Moral of the story:�
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.�

Lesson 2:�
A priest offered a Nun a lift.�
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.�
The priest nearly had an accident.�
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.�
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'�
The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.�
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'�
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'�
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily�
and went on her way, �

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'�

Moral of the story:�
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.�

Lesson 3:�
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.�
They rub it and a Genie comes out.�
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'�
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'�
Puff! She's gone.�
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep, 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life, '�
Puff! He's gone, �
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.�
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after�
lunch.'�

Moral of the story:�
Always let your boss have the first say.�

Lesson 4�
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.�
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'�
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'�
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.�

Moral of the story:�
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.�

Lesson 5�
A turkey was chatting with a bull.�
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'�
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'�
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.�
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.�
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree, �
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.�

Moral of the story:�
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there, �

Lesson 6�
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field, �
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.�
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was, �
The dung was actually thawing him out!�
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.�
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.�
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.�

Morals of the story:�
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.�
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your�
friend.�
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep�
your mouth shut!�
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE�

Perrrfect.
Really funny but learnt a lot.

hummm, let me give you 4 out of ten. you tried.

Way to go!!
Nice piece!! Really educative!!

Want more lessons?

This is great stuff, guy.
Keep it up

@ Poster
Great lessons there. Please I want some more _{Oliver Twist}

Impressive!!

Halleluyah!!!!!!!

thanks a lot. i am happy that u all appreciate the lessons and i hope u apply these to your everyday lives. More lessons will come in due time

Office is'nt that boring any more. Good work dude!

:d

Keep the response coming guyz

It is recommended that you all read these lessons cos it serves as a stress relief to many people under severe pressure at work

Bravo!

These is terrific

but i dont think this is the appropriate section anyway

i will be posting the part two of the lessons in a few hours from now, Meanwhile u learnt from this first part. Please let me know guyz

more! more!! more!!!

This is really EDUCATIVE and funny. I LOVE it.