Seriously, I don't even know how to start this, I grew up in one of the craziest hub of Lagos, and in a "face me I face you" kinda apartment. I am a living witness to all the kind of sh!t that goes down in such setting and I've since vowed that I will never subject either my wife or kids to any of those kind of lifestyle.
I got married few months ago and moved into this compound around Egbeda. We have five flats in all aside the one "room self" positioned at the gate. The first thing I warned my wife of as we moved into the house was that I don't want any form of familiarity in the compound. My wife is a Registered Nurse, but not working presently. Lately I noticed this particular woman in my compound, she stays with her husband in the flat opposite mine, the way she snoops around my wife makes me feel very uncomfortable. She would peep from the kitchen window to have a conversation with her, she comes around to borrow almost every thing you could think of" tissue paper, chopping board, ground pepper and she won't return them. Lately she's been coming to drop stuffs in the freezer and would even drop her two kids with my wife to play with even when she's at home on weekends. I confronted my wife though and she claimed she's been trying to push her back with all her body languages, but she won't back off.
Am thinking of taking some steps but would need you guys advice.
Thanks all

j

Answer the door next time she comes knocking. Do d magic.

Some people are like that. Definitely on the look out for something to gossip with. They make other folk's issues their business.
You should know that a person like that who comes to "borrow" little items from a new neighbour, and doesn't bother about returning stuff, has very little self esteem.

So, you certainly wouldn't want your wife to get too close to her. Because it's bound to progress into her occupying more space in your family life.
When subtle signals fail to send the message that she needs to back off a bit, then you need to make your intentions obvious.
You don't have to be afraid about hurting peoples' feelings, if you know that keeping quiet is bound to make a situation deteriorate.

"talk" with your wife...

When you live in a compound like yours with many flats, you can't alienate yourself from every other person. It's impossible. I understand your reason for not wanting to familiarize with people, but I think you are just wishing for too much, because there will definitely be some people, women especially, who like to "waka waka" and who will like to come close to you or members of your family.

I won't advice you to tell that woman to back off. That's not wise. You don't want to create enemies so early, and you don't want to give off a negative impression. Because trust me, word would spread. And it's not like the woman means any harm, she's probably an extroverted person, who likes making friends, there are people like that. You don't want to jump into early conclusions about her.

I think it's because your wife isn't working and she's kinda idle, that's why the said woman is always around her and in her biss. Let her get a job or something doing. That would limit the time she spends at home, and the woman won't see who to "snoop" on all the time.

distilledwalex:
Seriously, I don't even know how to start this, I grew up in one of the craziest hub of Lagos, and in a "face me I face you" kinda apartment. I am a living witness to all the kind of sh!t that goes down in such setting and I've since vowed that I will never subject either my wife or kids to any of those kind of lifestyle.
I got married few months ago and moved into this compound around Egbeda. We have five flats in all aside the one "room self" positioned at the gate. The first thing I warned my wife of as we moved into the house was that I don't want any form of familiarity in the compound. My wife is a Registered Nurse, but not working presently. Lately I noticed this particular woman in my compound, she stays with her husband in the flat opposite mine, the way she snoops around my wife makes me feel very uncomfortable. She would peep from the kitchen window to have a conversation with her, she comes around to borrow almost every thing you could think of" tissue paper, chopping board, ground pepper and she won't return them. Lately she's been coming to drop stuffs in the freezer and would even drop her two kids with my wife to play with even when she's at home on weekends. I confronted my wife though and she claimed she's been trying to push her back with all her body languages, but she won't back off.
Am thinking of taking some steps but would need you guys advice.
Thanks all

U sounded like a woman, men don't behave the way u are acting, ur neighbor has not done anything wrong. My advice is be good as much as possible to ur neighbors so far is not bringing any problem u never can tell u may be in the position of having to borrow tomorrow. If it were to be ur wife complaining about what u wrote I would understand but u a man, it's very unfortunate.

It's important u and ur wife kip ur space. Try get a job 4ur wife or engage her in Somtn meaningful like extra knowledge...

Cos staying at hom wl only encourage gossip, Jealousy, .....so many things are involved. God giv u wisdom to tk d ryt n necessary step

Den move out of d house

Decker:
When you live in a compound like yours with many tenants, you can't annihilate yourself from every other person. It's impossible. I understand your reason for not wanting to familiarize with people, but I think you are just wishing for too much, because there will definitely be people, women especially, who like to "waka waka"

I won't advice you to tell that woman to back off. That's not wise. You don't want to create enemies so early, and you don't want to give off a negative impression. Because trust me, word would spread. And it's not like the woman means any harm, she's probably someone who likes making friends, there are people like that. You don't want to jump into conclusions.

I think it's because your wife isn't working and she is a bit idle and that's why the woman is always around her. When she starts working, that would limit the time she spends at home, and the woman won't see who to snoop on.

One like 4 u. U are right. I concur with ur last paragraph. Op Tell ur wife to go n look 4 job. An idle mind they say is d devil's canteen. Tell ur wife to nt allow dat woman to use her as a Canteen.

keep avoiding that busy body woman, do all you can, she's asking all this to know your standard of living. responsible women don't stalk people. take action, don't play nice or your wife will corrupted. tell your wife to tell her that you like privacy... when you see good neighbor you will know.

Bro I was once like you! No silly associations, no friendship, no gossip, no borrowing to/from any one etc of cause I was living in military barracks then!

Fastforward to 2014, my wife was heavy with my last baby. I was away in the creeks, my wife was alone with the first 2kids, no mother/mother inlaw around she was delivered through CS!(Mother in law came about a week after -working class) My neighbours wife became her nurse as well as nanny for the young stars!!

"Never live in isolation, all things in moderation" my new moto!!!

When you find yourself in a big compound like that I think the best is to restrict oneself to the greetings when you see each other outside.Exchange pleasantries and nothing more.

I don't entertain some kind of 'buzy body' attitude from neighbour's.What matter is you greet them,help when anyone is in need or danger,regard their space n peace; let them do likewise towards me.

In most cases, when one housewife snoops around another housewife its either she wants to know and judge the standard of living of the other( just as some1 has earlier said).Or she wants to make a 'partner in gossip' .

Tell your wife and sound it clearly that she shouldn't allow their discussion to be about people(especially co-neighbours) but of events,careers,morals etc.to avoid gossips, embarrassment or quarrel in the future.

And also,its good to voice out,warmly but frankly,behavior towards you that you don't like.
If her borrowing and not returning is what you and your wife can't condone,there's a way your wife can tell her.Make her understand its the 'returning' that you are not comfortable with.


Its too early for a neighbour snooping na. You're still newly weds

na wen kids start to dey com naim family dey fit mingle wel cos na children dey expose parents.

Op,preach to her about jesus.if she refused to change then buy a military dog.

E be like say this tori go sweet jejely..

angels09:
"talk" with your wife...

Thats what i am doing..

talk well well, the kain soup husband nor dey chop hin wife no suppose dey cook am.

100Cents:


Thats what i am doing..

.

Stevebamdex:
Op,preach to her about jesus.if she refused to change then buy a military dog.

Chai.

angels09:
talk well well, the kain soup husband nor dey chop hin wife no suppose dey cook am.

The girl never gree cook anything for me o.

I just dey look her.

kestolove95:
Den move out of d house

Why ?

For what ?

ethene:

U sounded like a woman, men don't behave the way u are acting, ur neighbor has not done anything wrong. My advice is be good as much as possible to ur neighbors so far is not bringing any problem u never can tell u may be in the position of having to borrow tomorrow. If it were to be ur wife complaining about what u wrote I would understand but u a man, it's very unfortunate.

One 'like' for you. Hehe...you don't feel good you are able to gladden someone's heart? Better change @ Op. Life isn't so. You shouldn't even act like you are aware of her shortcomings. Best bet, let your wife handle it. She sha isn't wasteful

When trouble comes, that your neighbor will be the good Samaritan. When thieves entered my neighbor's house he locked himself and his wife in the bedroom and called me for help. I followed up on emergency number till eight policemen showed up.
Here is someone whom will not open his door when you come visiting nor answer your calls.

100Cents:


Chai.

Well,I can see you need jesus.