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Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody - Crime - Nairaland

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Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by kennysteve77: 7:42pm On Apr 15, 2016
Arguably, some say the Nigerian Police is not as efficient as their counterparts in developed countries, I still wonder how they make even the most ruthless criminal to wet his pants when apprehended. I think those guys deserve some credits for the incredible way they turn wicked criminals to comedians during interrogations. Below are few of the hilarious confessions of those criminals in fear of men of the Nigerian Police Force:

1. If I'm allowed to go now, I will never rob again in my life grin

2. I was the only nice one in our gang. I have never killed before, I often fight my gang members telling them that what we are doing is not good. grin

3. I am ready to tell you anything you want to know. grin What if the officer wanted to know the velocity of the moon round the sun?

4. My mummy is hypertensive and must not hear that I am a robber. If she sees this on TV, she'll die...

5. I already planned to stop after this last operation not knowing that I would be caught. Officer please help me!!!

ADD YOURS...

18 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by knightsTempler: 7:54pm On Apr 15, 2016
^^^^ grin cheesy

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Fmartin(m): 7:59pm On Apr 15, 2016
Dis is my first time to steal.

64 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by fistonati(m): 8:18pm On Apr 15, 2016
Nigerians will always find an excuse to have a way out

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by ZoggingMaster: 8:25pm On Apr 15, 2016
Numbers 1 and 3 really cracked me up... If you are allowed to go...- just like that... haahahaha

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by azeeza(f): 8:33pm On Apr 15, 2016
It is the handwork of the Devil. grin

91 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by ZoggingMaster: 9:20pm On Apr 15, 2016
Op did not even remember to mention this one. Very common quote among the arrested criminals grin grin
azeeza:
It is the handwork of the Devil. grin

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by nepapole(m): 11:55pm On Apr 15, 2016
grin grin

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Boboye4slim(m): 12:03am On Apr 16, 2016
kennysteve77:
Arguably, some say the Nigerian Police is not as efficient as their counterparts in developed countries, I still wonder how they make even the most ruthless criminal to wet his pants when apprehended. I think those guys deserve some credits for the incredible way they turn wicked criminals to comedians during interrogations. Below are few of the hilarious confessions of those criminals in fear of men of the Nigerian Police Force:

1. If I'm allowed to go now, I will never rob again in my life grin

2. I was the only nice one in our gang. I have never killed before, I often fight my gang members telling them that what we are doing is not good. grin

3. I am ready to tell you anything you want to know. grin What if the officer wanted to know the velocity of the moon round the sun?

4. My mummy is hypertensive and must not hear that I am a robber. If she sees this on TV, she'll die...

5. I already planned to stop after this last operation not knowing that I would be caught. Officer please help me!!!

ADD YOURS...
I'm surprised you find sad plight of men amusing. And don't defend your actions by saying they're criminals and deserves it. Finding the pains of others amusing is a prove that you're impaired psychologically. They, being criminal or not, you don't have a right to enjoy or relish in their sufferings. Or else yours is on the way! Read, learn, be wise. This message is specially for you. Be wise.

22 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by ZoggingMaster: 7:37am On Apr 16, 2016
A word for Boboye4slim - You just revealed yourself to be a ruthless criminal. You can't inflict pain on innocent citizens and expect pity when you are caught. I'll advise you to stop now before you get caught cos if you are caught nobody will pity you and I'm sure that your own amusing confession will make it to this list.

135 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by trishapal(f): 11:55am On Apr 16, 2016
It was poverty that pushed me into it... as if he was the only poor person in his town grin

Lalasticlala let's have more through the frontpage naa

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by brainbox1000(m): 3:06pm On Apr 16, 2016
Okay

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by HRich(m): 3:07pm On Apr 16, 2016

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by teemanbastos(m): 3:07pm On Apr 16, 2016
While the e-criminals keep on running to courts to quash charges cos "they were not properly briefed before arraignment".

Court- after your term as governor, shey you receive salary.. Guilty or not?
SUSPECT- THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, I WASN'T BRIEFED BEFORE ARRAIGNMENT.,.

;d grin suspect starts running to courts cos e no fit answer simple question grin grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Emmy1000: 3:07pm On Apr 16, 2016
j

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Leeeekeeee: 3:08pm On Apr 16, 2016
I heard a voice in my head..

*i am bewitched

*My village people re responsible

*Nah only the bullet I dey keep for them.

*i ve stopped robbing with them I don't know why he is implicating me now.

* it's only information I gave them.

* I will become pastor if u let me go.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Nobody: 3:08pm On Apr 16, 2016
Na drive i drive them ooo grin

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Beehshorp(m): 3:08pm On Apr 16, 2016
its the forces from my village that has stolen my destiny...

My friend forced me into it....


Some big men criminals will be like... "I am suffering from hyponosomial disorder of the invertibrate cellulose if I don't fly abroad in the nxt two days I'd die" but dis one happens in DSS and EFCC custody

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by temmiedebbie(f): 3:09pm On Apr 16, 2016
I'm originally destined to be a pastor, kidnapping was just a temporary job grin grin

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Hadone(m): 3:09pm On Apr 16, 2016
Ok

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by McBrooklyn(m): 3:09pm On Apr 16, 2016
Rapist go be like "Oga abeg free me make ah dey go, just cut my preek so ah no go use am rape again grin

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Nobody: 3:10pm On Apr 16, 2016
I was lured into this

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by ibkgab001: 3:10pm On Apr 16, 2016
laughing

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by ademega(m): 3:11pm On Apr 16, 2016
I only went to operations with him 3 times and I have stopped robbery since January so I am surprised why he mentioned my name and police came to arrest me.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by eherbal(m): 3:11pm On Apr 16, 2016
I'm the lookout guy. I've gone on operation with them only 6 times,and I don't carry guns.

As if once is not enough cheesy

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by Nobody: 3:12pm On Apr 16, 2016
Some of them might be sincere and heartfelt

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by peemyke(f): 3:13pm On Apr 16, 2016
All lies

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by victorvezx(m): 3:14pm On Apr 16, 2016
the robber be like " I no rob anybody oh, I just be the driver" lol

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by HaneefahRN(f): 3:15pm On Apr 16, 2016
Boboye4slim:
I'm surprised you find sad plight of men amusing. And don't defend your actions by saying they're criminals and deserves it. Finding the pains of others amusing is a prove that you're impaired psychologically. They, being criminal or not, you don't have a right to enjoy or relish in their sufferings. Or else yours is on the way! Read, learn, be wise. This message is specially for you. Be wise.

What is this one saying undecided

35 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Hilarious Statements Made By Criminals In Nigerian Police Custody by chimaobinelson(m): 3:16pm On Apr 16, 2016
Doz remorseful plea arnt funny atall,yes dey were cot in d act, bt its tragic...bro it doznt worth jesting for...nobody iz perfect

2 Likes 1 Share

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