pinkiberry:
pls dont judge girls that date or onces dated a married man, most of us did It out of sheer ignorance. I met this guy,he was so nice,he asked me to be his girlfriend, one thing led to another,we started dating, before you'd know it, he engaged me and insist I wear the ring to school but unknown to me he was married. he rented a separate apartment where he stay with me and flirt. I never knew he was married one day a friend of his that came to visit me saw me one day with him and told me he was married with a kid and his wife is pregnant,I was so shocked, I felt like the ground should swallow me, my leg couldn't carry me, I felt so betrayed because I trusted him with all my heart . His friend revealed that to me because he was from my L.G.A, he couldn't watch him deceive his sister. Anyway I ended the relationship with the married man and since then we dont talk and I dont plan on having anything to do with him again. I really loved him but it took me a lot of courage and time to get over him. I cried every night, I curse him and wished I never met him.

Dear queen,thank you for sharing your story with us. I feel your pain, some ladies get deceived into such messy situation. Am happy that you got out of it when you could. I hope others queens use your strength to escape from their messy situations

Harmonyemerald:



Then maybe you are not attracted to him enough if u now treat him as a buddy. If you have a mad crush on someone who friend-zoned u, trust,you will be doing what is called mad flirting or. Even go as. Far as telling him how you feel

Nah! i might have crushed on him. but am kinda reserved and proud.

Adaobi12:
Nah! i might have crushed on him. but am kinda reserved and proud.

Are you still crushing on him?

Harmonyemerald:


Are you still crushing on him?

No.

Adaobi12:
No.

So from him friendzoning you, you. Have friendzoned him too. Okay. Thought you were still crushing on him, that's why I was. Giving you tips on him to get him to step up

I love dis bt wat do I write. Maybe wit tym.

Harmonyemerald:



So from him friendzoning you, you. Have friendzoned him too. Okay. Thought you were still crushing on him, that's why I was. Giving you tips on him to get him to step up

There is no pount gushing over a man that don't want you.

Hernyolar:
No sane lady has any excuse for dating a married man...under no circumstances at all.
forget all he tells you about his 'bad' wife...my wife is boring...my wife can't do this, can't do that.
Women...we are our greatest enemy ....why will you be intimate friends with a married man?? instead of using a long spoon to dine with the devil....why not flee away from him
He made a vow with another woman...why will you be the reason for a broken home?? why would you let innocent kids suffer??

Even when a married man asks you for a relationship, why don't you put yourself in the woman's shoe...and reject his over...at least if the man isn't sensible....
A cousin of mine got married last weekend and I didn't attend cos she was the 'other' woman...I told her point blank that she's evil...she was shocked cos we are quite close but what's bad is bad...her mum called me after and I told her the same..

You can't build your own happiness on another woman's sorrow...it will come crashing like a pack of cards right before your very eyes...

.#modified#

I agree with you on all the above points, but what about if it is the woman that left the marriage.

[quote author=onoslove post=45008421]I agree with

fromusa:
I love this topic and I believe I will geta good advice from the sisters here.
I met this guy last year May when he was almost leaving the country, he is based abroad, since then we have been skyping and talking on phone every other day, we Have been talking marriage; of how he will pay my bride price when he comes back this year 2016, but something happened he postponed his coming back till late this same year.
Before Easter someone introduced guy to me cos am in my 30's, so everyone is bringing marriageable guys to me whether they are worth it or not; I asked my boyfriend if he is serious about marriage when he come back, e asked me why I brought up the topic again after we have concluded and I told him cos my friends where asking me, that maybe they want to introduce someone to me, he became quiet, the next day , he sent me a text that he does not think I am the woman for him, that I should move on.
This thing happened almost one month now, I have been texting and hoping he will change his mind, all to no avail, though I have stopped calling and blocked him on Facebook, my question is ; did I make a mistake in asking him again, did I act hastily by blocking him on Facebook and stop calling him, should I continue to call and text him even when he ignores him.
Ps; I am really into this guy, and it pains me whenever he ignores me hence the blôcking and not calling him again and he is from a broken home and this made him skeptical about marriage.
Thanks for reading this long epistle, hoping to get a good advice.

You did nothing wrong by asking him to define his plans for you. If you are in doubt about where a relationship is heading, it's your right to ask and there's nothing offensive about it.

However, pls stop calling/texting/begging any man when you have observed he needs space in the relationship, especially when you have done nothing wrong. Your question hit a nerve, and for reasons best known to him, he needs to reconsider if you are the right woman for him or not. That is also his right so pls, let him make that decision without your interference. If he comes back to you in good time and you are both able to agree a way forward; fine! But if not, let him go in peace and move on with your life.

Hernyolar:


If the woman left willingly,not that the husband sent her packing or abused her in any form...then the man is free to date another.
But on occassions where the man sent the wife packing cos of the 'other woman'...the lady is in for trouble.

Bottom line...if you want to date or marry a man whose divorced or a widower...investigate very well not from him but from people around cos the grass isnt that green on the side..
And if the wife left,be sure they are divorced either in court or a customary court cos of tomorrow

I see you babes! Well done

Kimoni:

I see you babes! Well done

Thanks ma'am

Thank you.

See excuse. Innocent indeed.

Except the lady didn't know during the period they were dating.

Hernyolar:
No sane lady has any excuse for dating a married man...under no circumstances at all.
forget all he tells you about his 'bad' wife...my wife is boring...my wife can't do this, can't do that.
Women...we are our greatest enemy ....why will you be intimate friends with a married man?? instead of using a long spoon to dine with the devil....why not flee away from him
He made a vow with another woman...why will you be the reason for a broken home?? why would you let innocent kids suffer??

Even when a married man asks you for a relationship, why don't you put yourself in the woman's shoe...and reject his over...at least if the man isn't sensible....
A cousin of mine got married last weekend and I didn't attend cos she was the 'other' woman...I told her point blank that she's evil...she was shocked cos we are quite close but what's bad is bad...her mum called me after and I told her the same..

You can't build your own happiness on another woman's sorrow...it will come crashing like a pack of cards right before your very eyes...

.#modified#

byvan03:
Seriously I have no solutions for this unusually dim breed of women, let me just spread a mat.

Unusually dim

Byvan!

Your case is different

pinkiberry:
pls dont judge girls that date or onces dated a married man, most of us did It out of sheer ignorance. I met this guy,he was so nice,he asked me to be his girlfriend, one thing led to another,we started dating, before you'd know it, he engaged me and insist I wear the ring to school but unknown to me he was married. he rented a separate apartment where he stay with me and flirt. I never knew he was married one day a friend of his that came to visit him saw me one day with him and told me he was married with a kid and his wife is pregnant,I was so shocked, I felt like the ground should open and swallow me, my leg couldn't carry me, I felt so betrayed because I trusted him with all my heart . His friend revealed that to me because he was from my L.G.A, he couldn't watch him deceive his sister. Anyway I ended the relationship with the married man and since then we dont talk and I dont plan on having anything to do with him again. I really loved him but it took me a lot of courage and time to get over him. I cried every night, I curse him and wished I never met him.

cococandy:

Unusually dim

Byvan!

Harmonyemerald:
Indulging in a relationship with married men is confusing, but almost all the experiences that come with it feel the same.

And it always starts with the same feelings of confusion, hesitation and attraction. And women, by nature are completely helpless in such circumstances.We love helping people we like out of troubling situations. And admit it, you’d love a man who’s a mess, if he likes you.

When a married man fancies you, you’re elated. But when he looks towards you for emotional support and love, the same things his own wife, apparently, doesn’t provide him, you end up falling in love, more with his emotional affairs rather than anything else.

It is not a planned event, you just wanted to support, to listen to him, advise him on how to make it work. Ist, it is a harmless date, where he laments about his finances, his wife's naggs, then phone calls follow just to check up, movies to release tensions and to thank you for being helpful, and in all these, he forgets his family turmoil.

All you start talking about is the good times both of you share every day. And then, one fine day, just before hanging up he says, “Sweetheart, if only I wasn’t married, I would be so in love with you. And frankly, I already am…” Pop goes the weasel.

And so the journey takes another turn

The little innocent doe in you (in most cases) braves itself up and walks curiously ahead. You’re flattered to know he loves you, no man who’s so sweet has ever told you something like that. You realize you love him too. But then, what’s the ending of the story?


We all know how these things end. We battle with our mind on the morale implications, what God will say, how the society will react, your friends.

He’s a married man, and you know you don’t want to fall, but he’s such an emotional wreck, and the most striking part of it all is, he’s totally in love with you. Apparently!

Now, you warm up to him to shower him with happiness, and the next thing you know, you’re snogging him in hallways of movie theaters, fantacizing about him, lying to your loved ones to keep your dates with him, it gets harder. You are always with your phone, always jumping. You know what is right and wrong but you can't seem to let go. He is more caring than all your exs put together, you both understand each other and feel you belong together. How you wish he wasn't married, he is your soulmate.

Beyond this point, there’s no looking back. You don’t care about his family or his wife. You just want this man. All for yourself. You’re dating a married man, and you want him all for yourself.

The worst part of all this is that you’d never really want to be in this place, but somehow, you find yourself here. Lost, angry, annoyed and on the dark side. All of a sudden, you’re not just another nice girl. You’re the “other woman” who’s dating a married man.


You’re marked from the rest of the world. You are a home wrecker. But it doesn’t matter to you, because you know this man loves you, and wants you more than he wants his own wife. That’s what we are made to believe anyways.

all these wahala just to have se.x at the end? It is not worth the stress.

good morning queens. want to thank us all for our wonderful contributions and experiences on being friend-zoned. one thing i know is that i am a go-getter and before a guy can friend-zone me i go flirt with am silly and he will not only see the green light but also the seven colours of the rainbow. girls make we wise up oo, how many Good men are out there that when we see one, we will let him friendzone us, mbanu!!!

following the recent drama between african pop star tiwa salvage and teeblizz, i hve decided that today's hot topic should be "abuse in relationships and depression in nigeria"


people who has never been abused often wonder why a person in such relationship won't just leave. but research has shown that leaving isn't always as easy as it seems


leaving is the most dangerous time for a person of abuse because abuse is all about control and power . whn tht power seem threatened, people go to extra mile to retain
it. there are alotof other reasons why people stay in ranging from fear to shame to low self esteem to love, material reasons, religious and cultural reasons, family values and the list goes on and on.

one major thing i have noticed is that most abusive people are usually the sweetest people to date espcially at the beginging part of the relationship that when they start messing up, the partner always stays hoping to change him to the person he was when they started dating.
a
he acts normal and sweet 40percent of the time and for the other 60, he is beast.


b
he comes bearing gifts to apologise.he tries to buy your forgiveness

c
he drives away all your friends because they are a bad influence and are not good enough for you. he is the only one that knows the best for you.

d
he monitors your every move, call logs,chats, what you wear, where you go, how long you stay where you go.



what are your experiences and your opinion on this queens? why do women stay in an abusive reltionship. because when kids are raised in such environment, those kids grow up thinking that it is okay to be in one or they grow up thinking its okay to abuse women both emotionally and physically.

for the men in the house, why do you let it get to that point where you think the solution is to hit your woman, your God's appointed helpmate

Queenss why are we just viewing nd not responding to the topic @ hand

Harmonyemerald:
Queenss why are we just viewing nd not responding to the topic @ hand

I think love is the reason why a woman would stay in an abusive relationship or marriage. Also, the society we find ourselves in frowns at divorce.

pinkiberry:
I think love is the reason why a woman would stay in an abusive relationship or marriage. Also, the society we find ourselves in frowns at divorce.

Love is not alwys the case, I think fear, shame. Plays more part than love

In marriages with children, the women stay because of the kids.
in relationships, well maybe because of obsession, material gains etc.
but i see no reason why a woman should stay in an abusive marriage or relationship, be it physical, mental or psychological abuse.
i learnt not to in a hard way. not a personal experience, but someone dear to me.
She suffered psychological and mental abuse from the husband, she was advised to leave the marriage, since she earns more. but she stayed because she doesn't want the kids to grow up in a broken home.Where is she today, 6ft LGA.
the kids, now broken.The husband happily married. I know better than to stay in an abusive affair.

Hernyolar:


If the woman left willingly,not that the husband sent her packing or abused her in any form...then the man is free to date another.
But on occassions where the man sent the wife packing cos of the 'other woman'...the lady is in for trouble.

Bottom line...if you want to date or marry a man whose divorced or a widower...investigate very well not from him but from people around cos the grass isnt that green on the side..
And if the wife left,be sure they are divorced either in court or a customary court cos of tomorrow

I go with you on this.

Hello ladies, this is long overdue. Anyone is free to carry on the conversation and bring up topics.

Today am going to raise a topic based on my friends situation , please know that I have her full permission to do this. Maybe medical experts in the house should also help out.

Love is tricky, she always say.

She has fallen in love 3 times and 3 times I have had to hold her hand as she cried her eyes out because she had to break out with them because they were both AS genotype. She is currently seeing this guy who happened to be AS again but she has insisted that she will go on with him and do pro natal genotype screening when she takes in and avoid giving birth to a sickler if she has to remove the foetus at a tender age.


My question is who has gone through this or going to this. Are there married AS couple who can throw more light. She plans to have just 2 kids

Comments please

Funny enough, I had this discussion with my friend last night.
My opinion, she should not try getting married to the AS guy coz in the long run she'll blame herself. I mean, it's not worth it at all!
My aunt formed deaf ears to my parents and did this same thing, today she's regretting the whole thing. Sometimes I feel like crying when I see her SS kids.
What if your friend keeps conceiving SS babies? For how long will she continue to flush them? Till she flushes her womb away? I repeat, she should be patient and pray coz it's not worth the stress in the long run.

LaDivva:
Funny enough, I had this discussion with my friend last night.
My opinion, she should not try getting married to the AS guy coz in the long run she'll blame herself. I mean, it's not worth it at all!
My aunt formed deaf ears to my parents and did this same thing, today she's regretting the whole thing. Sometimes I feel like crying when I see her SS kids.
What if your friend keeps conceiving SS babies? For how long will she continue to flush them? Till she flushes her womb away? I repeat, she should be patient and pray coz it's not worth the stress in the long run.

Not so easy to love and lose

Harmonyemerald:


Not so easy to love and lose

The choice is still hers...

She had better leave the guy now...her own man will come... it's not easy coping with a child that has sickle cell anaemia.. why bring a child to the world to go through pains cos of your greed?? what if she does the screening before the baby is born and she is SS, will she continue to abort till she has an AS child....

Marriage requires more than love ooo, you shouldn't see fire and willingly jump into it...

.