@ chaircover
exactly why i said he should consider her more objectively, please don't take it that i'm gross with you

@ chaircover
good

chaircover:

@oladcity – I haven’t got a problem with Lola moving on with his life but I see no reason why he should gloat about his achievements bearing in mind that at some point the ex-girlfriend was feeding him. It just so happened that he managed to find himself a job at the time, had he not would he have ignored his ex and not picked up this girls calls?
. . . . Besides no one knows tomorrow, who knows she might even end up marrying a richer bloke than Lola.
My gripe is that the ex girlfirend helped him out in the past, when he was down and out and that should count for something. He should be mature & civil about it all.

This is d main reason y I dont like demanding anything from my girlfriend cos womeeeennn ,they can talk .thank God I am not dependin on her for anything if not na so she go yarn for nairaland
Wen I was nobody(no job nothing),I respected myself by cutting my coat according to my size and I dont hv any girlfriend instead I found happiness in playing my guitar and PS2

Gabry:

Efficacy_c,

The only question you ask yourself is do you really love him? If you really do, than go for it! At times, when you want to have happiness, you really have to work your way up for it despite what happens.

The other day I was in church and a pastor was telling me about his love life. He told me that in his life, he respects his wife more than anyone else in the world. When they both were young, he comes from a poor background and his wife comes from a wealthy background. His nwife was the person that bought the house, the car, paid the bills to begin with cause she was in a better position to do so. And than his wife work together with him on a business and now he is running the business with the help of his wife. He said since than, he had always sworn to God that he would never hurt his wife. He would always stay faithful to her and will always love her more than he loved himself. Till this date, they have been married for 32 years. Their children had grown up and had successfull careers and one of their daughter took over the business and he became a pastor.

Let me tell u a story about my aunt. She is an Egyptian woman and she got married to my uncle. We are not blood related but I called them my second parents its because they have really helped my family alot through good and rough times. . . (Long story there due to religion). Anyways, my aunt was in LOndon when she studied for her degree and she met my uncle there. My uncle was basically broke. Anyways, they both fall in love and they got married and she paid for the wedding. And she had to work 3 jobs cause she wanted her husband to get a Masters Degree in Psychology and he did. IMAGINE! She work for his education, she work for the bills, she work for the marriage and she work for the family. That time they had one daughter. And after he graduated, they came back to Malaysia and because of his qualification, he became a General Manager for Shell. But something happen. . . Someone fraud him and he was decalred as bancrupt. Than my aunt had to work once again for the family  and soon she told my parents about this and my father now took him as his business consultant. My father and his wife help him cleared up his bancruptcy. By next year his name should be cleared up and he will than be a politician of the country. The next thing he knew is that by next year, he will have alot of money and property and what did he do? He went to a lawyer and put everything under his wife and children's name and none for him its because he really appreciated them and he love his wife to the fullest for being with him through good and rough times.


So my dear, I hope these two stories would inspire you than intoday's modern society, its not the guys fault when he does not make it or when he has no money. At times, we the females have to know when to stomp in our feet and be with our man (thats if we really love and trust and want to have a fuiture with them).  Good luck in your future endeavors and may God bless you through the right path of life. Stay bless sweety  

tks gaby,  i love your story the trouble is most nigerians have short memories.  nigerians are mostly very ungratefull and forgetfull people.  majority would have married other women or had girl friends and children all over the place without shame.  i have been wondering why we live like this.

i dont have much problem with this guy here but i have problem with his shameless mum and family who have no shame asking a young girl for money.  i think we touched on this re : the flashing thread.  i dont know why people have no shame in asking for money and things from people they hardly know. it is a big shame.  i too come from a very poor home so i understand what he may be going through but that is no excuse for the mum and sibblings to take thier leg and waka to a young girl trying to sort out her life and start demanding things.  it is silly thing to do.

Efficacy_c:

@ Chaircover, if I were 22, I'd stick with him because I won't be bothered by time.

@ Mr. Lola, I think you're rather mean, you don't leave a girl who stood by you through thin and thick because she got scared of her future and walked out. Remember the times she spent on you, let your conscience call you to caution, whoever you date today might tell you she would have stayed with you even if you didn't have a penny but it might just be a fat fat lie.

Finally, I'll say a big thanks to Gabry, . You said it all, you just helped me clear my head. I'll take the risk and stick with him. Thank God for blessing me with a good job, we shall go through this together and I hope I shall get back to you soon with success stories.

On a lighter  note, I didn't realize there were so many intelligent people on nairaland. when I used to read through posts before I joined, there used to be loads of insults and childish banter here. I must say, I'm impressed.

i always say it is beter to catch up than clean up. dont let age set you into the wrong hand.  watch and pray seriously before you leap into this relationship as a marriage.  i dont like the sound of you taking care of a man yes things can change for him tomorrow so it can get better for you too.  why must you carry a burden you were not meant to carry becaue of the fear of him becoming a dangote tomorrow?  what if things dont change you still want to be giving recharge card, barbing,  transport and pocket money at 50?   na you born am abi?

it is not selfishness to stop taking care of them. if you need to take him  for deliverance  so he starts getting his life sorted out and if you can actively help him start looking for work too and o dont take i wont do this from him and then watch what he does with his life and money.

On a lighter  note, I didn't realize there were so many intelligent people on nairaland. when I used to read through posts before I joined, there used to be loads of insults and childish banter here. I must say, I'm impressed.

 dont do thanksgiving just yet the register is still open the akward teenagers are only asleep.

@ others especially MEN - i need to say this again just in case you missed where i said it before for those of you boys/ bois and men taking money and clothes from women you need to seriously think again.  i odnt know how you live with yourselves or how you slep at night.  if you cant work dont eat.  who said you must wear nice shirts? and some of you have  is it effontry they call that word now to go start demanding for restaurant food from the  money you dont know its colour.

you are swimming in dangerous waters you may never recover from

@  oladcity,

chaircover is one of the objective reasonable landlady on NL.  she is right what are u quarelling with?

what do u mean by

is a likelyhood of her man experiencing lola's fortune.

at GEW

Seconded!

What happens if things didnot change? 

Again, you are 31 almost 32, he is 32, the possibility of him running after younger girls is there, unless he is too disciplined.  Most men of 32 years prefer younger women of say 28, (especially my igbo brothers, yorubas dont care about age, but if u both are igbo think about this age stuff - _{abeg nobody shd attack me ooo})

i think you should think twice before going ahead with the marriage . I was in the same situation a while back and he was always asking me for money for one project or the other. He also liked the best things of life and it got to a point i would make sure each time i visited him i had only N500 in my wallet because he would look through my purse and take all the money i had.

i am 32 years old but trust me i packed my load and ran. i think some men get that way especially when they are dating a woman who is over 30 as they automatically assume she is desperate .I would suggest you pray seriously about it because trust me if you go ahead with the marriage and you are always under financial pressure from your husband and his family the love will fly out of the window and resentment will set in

[flash=200,200]how mean of you mr. lola. now you no longer remember all she did till she got tired.
trying to show off your new position just to prove what?

why not take her call if only for the past goodness, isnt that how most of u guys are anyway?

if the guy hits it big today, i wonder if he will still remember how she was there for him even for a short time.


I did not jilt her like you said. I was not taking money from her because my parents were not poor, God knows I love her and I stll do but I just can't stand the betrayal or forget how she walked off. She said it was a mistake to have dated me in the first place. can you take that? I want someone that can stay no matter what I am passing through. She is just not the one and I am not in a hurry to get anyone yet . For the record, no one is trying to show off here. I might have made my mistake before but not anymore. Thanks for your objectivity. I am not mean!