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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. (4351 Views)
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What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 8:31am On Apr 28, 2016 |
i have always being a pro bride-price, i was brought up to understand that bride price is the pride of every woman. perhaps, bride price was a thing of pride centuries ago where women were to be seen but not heard, where a woman's primary duty was to produce children and take care of her husband and home, it was no surprise that men then acquired and married so many women as they were commodities of machandise. things have really changed now, women are no longer shadows in their matrimonies, they now merge their primary responsibilities and their careers. women in some homes are now co-bread winners in their , some help their husbands when in need financially. what is the real essence of the groom paying money to the bride family? some bride family marriage list consists of varying prices for the bride ranging from skin complexion, to intellect, to educational qualification, the higher these variables the higher the money to be paid. since the groom was forced to pay through his teeth, he regards his wife as his property for life, her opinion in the house are not important, she must perform the reason for her purchase, she must be ready to endure him and pray harder when he cheats, she must be ready to pray and fast even harder when he sexually, emotionally and physically abuse her, little wonder why men support the phrase 'no rape in marriage'. the bride price culture was propounded by men themselves, because everything on the list and even the monies paid go to their pocket. As every other culture that is archaic and have been scrapped, the culture of bride price should follow suit. what do you think,does bride price enslaves women or liberate them, should it be scrapped or maintained?. 3 Likes
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Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by Nobody: 8:40am On Apr 28, 2016 |
hmmm...this is our tradotion old as nature itself..it's a religious act (islamically...dnt knw bout christianity) also. so.it should cherished and let blossomed till d end of time 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 8:49am On Apr 28, 2016 |
2undexy: par adventure, you marry a white lady, will you insist on paying her bride price? 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by 5minsmadness: 8:55am On Apr 28, 2016 |
The essence of bride price is to show the woman's value. And it's not just our (African) culture. All over the world to woo a woman you have to bring gifts. Weather its a single rose or 10 tubers of yam, you just can't walk into a woman's family and take away one of their children. No matter how emancipated women have become they are still women. They will not lose thier ability to bear children neither will they suddenly become physically stronger than men no matter how much they earn. Women are nurturers of the human race and should be treated with a certain respect and dignity and should be given the value they deserve when being made a part of a man's family. Hence the bride price. 4 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 9:06am On Apr 28, 2016 |
5minsmadness: if a man want to show appreciation to the bride family by bringing gifts, it very okay, likewise the lady. but no piece of paper should be presented to the man to pay certain amount of money to the family, even if the man can not afford it. A lady's value is not on the money the man pays to her family, but expressed in the way he respects and treats her and her family. 4 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by Florblu(f): 9:06am On Apr 28, 2016 |
I dunno about other people o.
But my bride price must be paid. 4 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 9:11am On Apr 28, 2016 |
Florblu:lolzz. why if I may ask? |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by Florblu(f): 9:48am On Apr 28, 2016 |
mizquote:It is essential my dear 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by postmann: 10:09am On Apr 28, 2016 |
You started well, but couldn't help twisting the facts as you bring your post to conclusion. An abusive man doesn't need bride prize to abuse his wife. Before a woman crosses that great chasm of marriage where she leaves her father's home for good and cling to a new home and culture, where she would bear children who will be the future generation, children who would be kings, presidents, leaders and teachers, children who will trace their lineage through their father, it is right that certain rites ought to be fulfilled. A young unmarried girl belongs to her father and her father's family to an extent. Bride price is both a physical and spiritual ritual as far as African culture goes. It is the appeasement of both man and spirit. It is also the fulfilment of manhood and a testament of financial responsibility on the side of the man that he is capable of taking care of his family. As far as Africa goes, until a bride price is paid as stipulated by the girl's father, she's not properly married. The spirits won't recognise such a marriage even if it were conducted in a church by the Pope himself or in a court by the chief judge of the federation. Until a father's requirements are met in the traditional marriage setting, she remains not properly married. Only he has the privilege to give his daughter out. Bride price does not in anyway depicts the trading off of women. Like every good custom and practice, it is bound to suffer abuse and corruption. mizquote: 9 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by nepapole(m): 10:12am On Apr 28, 2016 |
It is to confirm the purchase of ur wife. B.t.w what about groom price as in d case of India? |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by diportivo: 10:20am On Apr 28, 2016 |
Overrated practice Buy this buy that as if to say those on that side are hungry and thirsty If God blesses me with a daughter,i wont bring her up thinking her self-worth is tied to some tubers of yam Na dat yam own dey even vex me pass 3 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 10:38am On Apr 28, 2016 |
postmann: what an intending couple need is blessings from both parents and it is not tied to tubbers of yam, kegs of 'kia-kia, rolls of tobacco & snuff and money to be paid to the bride parent, even if the groom can't afford it. 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by 5minsmadness: 10:50am On Apr 28, 2016 |
mizquote: The paper is for formality and uniformity. Giving a suitor a bride price he can't afford is due to two reasons : 1. The family doesn't like the man. 2. Greed. Value in this context is symbolic. You are not literally buying the woman , just showing her worth to her family symbolically. |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by postmann: 10:59am On Apr 28, 2016 |
mizquote: Requirements are requirements. Blessings are blessings. They both are essential for a healthy conduct of marriage. |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by 5minsmadness: 11:03am On Apr 28, 2016 |
postmann:Well said my good man. Well said. It will interest u to know tha even the church will not go ahead with a marriage until the bride price has been paid. And like u said, every good custom and practice will suffer abuse and corruption. That doesn't make it bad. I can't imagine a man refusing to pay a woman's bride price in one way or the other. A woman he professes to love? That man ain't worth his salt. And that woman isn't his wife. 3 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by ogawisdom(m): 1:57pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
mizquote: Bride price is a non negotiable biblical injunction. A woman was created for a man n d4 he marries her by paying bride price to her father. Whatever d father accepts as her daughter's bride price is OK, though it's been trimmed down so as nt to seem lik dey r selling their daughter |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by byvan03: 2:10pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
I want it scrapped! 2 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by ronald4lif(m): 3:15pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
As said by some already, bride price is a culture that has been in practice aeons ago and although not in support of it I'm not against it either. The bride price praxis in itself isn't a problem, the problem is the list that's attached to it. Those tubers of yams, kegs of palm wine, drinks etc should be scrapped. Those items shouldn't be mandatory but voluntarily. Many keep saying that bride price has been reasonably reduced to 5k or less in most places but that to me isn't the problem. The obscene and irrational list is the problem. |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 3:57pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
ogawisdom: bible injunction you say? is it amongst the ten commandments, who injucted and to whom pls? nawao |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 4:01pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
ronald4lif: what is the essence of the '5k' or other monies paid, if I may ask? how about countries that do not practise bride payment? the name in itself is not right 'bride PRICE',. 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 4:04pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
5minsmadness: the traditional marriage rite can hold, without the groom paying any sort of money to the bride family as a price for her. Gifts can be exchange between the both family. |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by raumdeuter: 4:24pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
mizquote: Why do they need blessings, Is that not an outdated and archaic practice? |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by Kimoni: 4:31pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
Florblu: |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by mizquote(f): 4:44pm On Apr 28, 2016 |
raumdeuter: that is not the topic of discourse. 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by amimanuel(m): 12:06pm On Apr 29, 2016 |
like seriously... i agreed to whosoever posted this at first... i see no reason of paying Bride price to the bride family. when you both love one another,afterall the bride wasn't forced to marry the groom...on other point, bride price was paid to the bride family then bcs it a sign that u want to purchase the lady from her parent even if she loves u or not... then the girl will still b a virgin u will b the first to disflower her,buh now most girls are not a virgin anymore so what the essence of paying the bride price.. 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by cocolacec(m): 12:17pm On Apr 29, 2016 |
2undexy: BRIDE PRICE ( MAHR) IN ISLAM IS PAID TO THÉ WOMAN ALONE AND NOT HER FAMILY.ONLY THÉ WOMAN DECIDES WHAT SHE WANTS AS HER DOWRY FROM HER HUSBAND. Apart from that He has made all other women lawful for you provided you seek them with your wealth in marriage and not in fornication. When you consummate your marriage with them give them their prescribed dowry. There is nothing wrong in any further agreement you might come to after the dowry has been given. Allah is All-Knowing,All-Wise. (4:24) |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by bukatyne(f): 12:26am On Apr 30, 2016 |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by RebelliousDark: 12:35am On Apr 30, 2016 |
it's a practice that has overstayed its welcome and is no longer relevant or meaningful. . . . . . . . . . .it should be scrapped out completely!!!!. . .Africans and their backward mumu style of reasoning! 3 Likes |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by Kimoni: 12:48am On Apr 30, 2016 |
mizquote: He was getting to the 'topic of discourse' with these questions |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by byvan03: 6:32am On Apr 30, 2016 |
bukatyne: You know we always hear things like " A man can cheat because he paid the bride price and owns the woman". Am just curious to know what mantra they will change to if marrying a wife doesn't cost a dime. They should exchange cowries as bride price, scrap that horrible list that they issue out. Let's see the new excuses. 1 Like |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by bukatyne(f): 10:33pm On Apr 30, 2016 |
byvan03: Lols! Bride price.... What a name |
Re: What Is The Essence Of 'bride Price'?. by byvan03: 8:36am On May 01, 2016 |
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