© Ekpemandu Prince 2016
I find it funny that some people—ladies especially—believe this notion. I can’t blame them anyway. I won’t attribute this to ignorance because quite frankly, people who believe these things are relatively knowledgeable. And if I’m to point fingers I would single out frustration as a major factor that forces people into believing this myth. Yes, I call it a myth because it’s not true and will never be.

In the defence of the men, I would say it’s a mission impossible to know every man and an even more daunting task to date every single one to conclude that they all cheat. But not to sound like an illiterate because I did statistics and I know an illation can be made from studying a sample rather than a whole population, I would like to add that stats are usually not 100% accurate and that gives room for other possibilities. So, given that you’ve not dated every guy you know and you’ve heard a thing or two from other parties about men and their inability to be fully committed in a relationship, you have concluded that all men cheat. But let me play the devil’s advocate a little by asking, ‘what you do with this information?’ All men cheat, okay. What will a woman craving for a safe and stable relationship do with that erroneous fact?

I’ve noticed that people tend to point fingers as quick as an opportunity presents itself. This is not always the case but some women who tend to tilt towards the notion that all men cheat always want to appear as victims. Victims not in the sense that they’ve been hurt by the men they loved but victims that have been forced to react or act in the same manner as the so called cheating men. For example, you have a lady who flirts around or is into runs (high class prostitution) and she does this with no remorse because she feels her man or the man she would be with would do the same. So what’s the essence of being faithful when your partner is/would be unfaithful?—that’s their impression. It may not be just that, they might engage in other illicit activities based on that impression. But I would like to ask a question; ‘do men cheat by themselves?’ Definitely if he is cheating, he would be doing so with a woman (assuming he isn’t gay). It’s safe to say then that if every man cheats, every woman cheats too. So, why don’t we address the issue as a general problem rather than play the blame game?

The ‘all men cheat’ notion may not always be used as an excuse to cheat but to settle. As a woman you find yourself in a dysfunctional relationship where a man who is meant to respect and love you does the direct opposite. He goes around sleeping with anything in skirt and you are indifferent about it. In your defence for his infidelity you say, ‘he is just being a man—all men cheat.’ I’ve heard that line so many times and it gets under my skin every single time. You’ve not only settled for a lie but you’ve drastically reduced your worth. I don’t know where people get all these funny ideas that end up complicating their lives. I don’t know if it is clear to some ladies who have this nonchalant attitude towards these things but it should be of concern to them, really. If not for their sanity, they should consider their health. He is out there messing up with God knows who—increasing his chances—your chances of contracting some sexual disease, because at the end he is still going to come to you. If even not for that, think about your kids as well. You would have kids or have kids already and they pick up these bad habit. Therefore, infidelity is not be something one can just sweep under the rug.

Another group who use this ‘all men cheat’ notion are those who practise avoidance. Now, in this group, you find people who have never been in a serious relationship because of the things they’ve heard or seen, they jump into conclusions. They are characterised by fear and excuse. It’s one thing not to want a relationship—I respect that but it’s another thing entirely when you’re making flimsy excuses not to. You might even be poisoning the minds of others who are novel to the whole dynamics of a relationship and want to try.

Thus if you’re using the ‘all men cheat’ line to support whatever notion you have in your head—like my Nigerian people would say; ‘you’re doing yourself.’ In other words, you’re the sole architect of your own misfortune. First of all, a relationship is not compulsory. If it’s not good for you, then by all means be by yourself. Secondly, I would stress again—all men don’t cheat. So, if a significant amount of people you know are cheating, you need to change the people in your circle. This goes out to those who have cheating friends and encourage them. I had a second thought writing that last line because of guilt *coughs*. And if you still can’t find a faithful man then meet me, I’m available. The only thing you have to worry about is that I would give you problems that are worse than cheating. But on a serious note, all men don’t cheat, you just have to believe that first. My point is, you don’t expect to see things you don’t believe in. A good man will elude you because you don’t believe he exists and you won’t be able to identify him even if he is right under your nose. Therefore, set your heart right and your priorities straight and don’t settle for less. I’m not disputing the fact that there are many bad guys out there as there are ladies. ‘Nothing good comes easy.’ No one finds gold by just scratching the surface; you’ve got to dig deep…
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you need to summarize this o..i get eye prob

No. I have never cheated.

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Op calm down...Who want read all this things na.

i didnt read it all,










But i know u dam right.