Hello palz,

Der is dis chic around my area dat has a cute and smart little daughter.

I first met them at a cyber cafe. Her daughter's smartness caught my interest b4 I even noticed her.

Dis lady greets me and talks to me with so much respect. She doesn't really know me so she has no reason to greet me dat way. Nna, but her attitude dey soothe my ego wella...

I took my time to observe her and she seems very down-to-earth.

Me I for like marry next year, and she looks very marryable...but am having doubts, plus a hard time coming up with answers as to why I want to marry a baby mama, when my family asks.

Also, I dont know what the disadvantages are, so I would like to ask, what are the disadvantages of marrying a baby mama?

Try to watch some episodes of the divorce court, I think you will get some information from there also.

https://www.youtube.com/user/DivorceCourtTV

You haven't even started dating her yet and you're already making wedding plans.

In my opinion, baby mamas are very respectful to men, but I do not know if this is because they know they need to put in more effort in holding a single man down than most single ladies. I don't fall for the nice thingy though. I always ask myself would she be this nice if she didn't already have a child? But I dunno, maybe they are just being real. Not dated any (at least to the best of my knowledge) so I wouldn't know for sure. But you cant really blame them, most of them have been to hell and back, Afterall most of the other single girls you meet might be single mothers to a long string of dead babies. I respect single mamas especially those that damned the consequences and decided to keep the babies from a failed relationship, that in itself is something to commend her for, while some other ladies are on 10th abortion.

So if you want to marry her, go ahead, but keep in mind that her respect (massaging your ego like you put it) might diminish after a while. If that's your reason for marrying her, you are on a long thing. Find better reasons to marry her, like her intelligence, resourcefulness, and her behaviour with others. Don't worry about the baby, luckily for you she's a girl, she would get married someday.

thesicilian:
You haven't even started dating her yet and you're already making wedding plans.

Bro, at my level, I can only date someone I intend to marry soon. I dont have time to waste with a lady I cant see a future with. Hope dat ansas ur question

majorbravo:
In my experience, baby mamas are very respectful to men, but I do not know if this is because they know they need to put in more effort in holding a single man down than most single ladies. I don't fall for the nice thingy though. I always ask myself would she be this nice if she didn't already have a child? But I dunno, maybe they are just being real. Not dated any (at least to the best of my knowledge) so I wouldn't know for sure. But you cant really blame them, most of them have been to hell and back, Afterall most of the other single girls you meet might be single mothers to a long string of dead babies. I respect single mamas especially those that damned the consequences and decided to keep the babies from a failed relationship, that in itself is something to commend her for, while some other ladies are on 10th abortion.

So if you want to marry her, go ahead, but keep in mind that her respect (massaging your ego like you put it) might diminish after a while. If that's your reason for marrying her, you are on a long thing. Find better reasons to marry her, like her intelligence, resourcefulness, and her behaviour with others. Don't worry about the baby, luckily for you she's a girl, she would get married someday.

On the contrary, I have two other baby mama friends dat are very rude and saucy.

Am only contemplating marriage, dat doesnt mean she will be the one, and not becos she massages my ego. Actually the ego massaging tin was the initial attraction.

I am contemplating starting a relationship with her...you know get to know her. I brought up the marriage issue becos right now, if am dating any lady, its becos I do have marriage in view. So the lady has to look marryable to me before we even start dating sef.

Am just interested in knowing the challenges involved before I even take a step. Like how do you handle the baby daddy issue and shiits like dat.

juman:
Try to watch some episodes of the divorce court, I think you will get some information from there also.

https://www.youtube.com/user/DivorceCourtTV

Baba abeg no vex u fit summarize wetin dem talk for dia? My fone no dey watch youtube videos.

Thank you

obongitiad:


On the contrary, I have two other baby mama friends dat are very rude and saucy.

Am only contemplating marriage, dat doesnt mean she will be the one, and not becos she massages my ego. Actually the ego massaging tin was the initial attraction.

I am contemplating starting a relationship with her...you know get to know her. I brought up the marriage issue becos right now, if am dating any lady, its becos I do have marriage in view. So the lady has to look marryable to me before we even start dating sef.

Am just interested in knowing the challenges involved before I even take a step. Like how do you handle the baby daddy issue and shiits like dat.

I already told you

majorbravo:
Find better reasons to marry her, like her intelligence, resourcefulness, and her behaviour with others. Don't worry about the baby, luckily for you she's a girl, she would get married someday.

And just to add, a friend once told me, people would only respect what you respect and mock what you don't respect. If you stand by your woman you shouldn't have a problem taking her to the altar. You say you are mature and have marriage in view before dating, why should what people think bother you and your happiness?

majorbravo:


I already told you



And just to add, a friend once told me, people would only respect what you respect and mock what you don't respect. If you stand by your woman you shouldn't have a problem taking her to the altar. You say you are mature and have marriage in view before dating, why should what people think bother you and your happiness?

Bros, my major concern now is how to deal with the baby daddy.

I have seen some grown up ladies say "Am going to my daddy's house for holidays". And she lives with her mom and her step dad. I neva rily gave it a tot abt till lately.

What dat means is dat when you marry a baby mama, her daughter technically now has two fathers. How do you reconcile that?:/

obongitiad:


Bros, my major concern now is how to deal with the baby daddy.

I have seen some grown up ladies say "Am going to my daddy's house for holidays". And she lives with her mom and her step dad. I neva rily gave it a tot abt till lately.

What dat means is dat when you marry a baby mama, her daughter technically now has two fathers. How do you reconcile that?:/

If that is the case, you need to find out from the lady about the girls father, his whereabouts and how interested he is in the girl, he can have the girl if he wants to take care of his daughter himself (permanently or from time to time) and that is if he is capable (and not a danger to her welfare). If you live in a welfare society you would find out how to go about it. On the other hand, If he wants nothing to do with the girl, then you could decide to adopt her as yours as long as you've discussed this with her mother. That shouldn't be an issue. I haven't been in the situation myself to know what happens with identity, names and stuff but I'm sure if you are determined you lot can work something out. You would also have your own kids that wont go anywhere later on. If you cant love that girl like your own daughter forget it, her mother wont give her up because of you.

majorbravo:


If that is the case, you need to find out from the lady about the girls father, his whereabouts and how interested he is in the girl, he can have the girl if he wants to take care of his daughter himself (permanently or from time to time) and that is if he is capable (and not a danger to her welfare). If you live in a welfare society you would find out how to go about it. On the other hand, If he wants nothing to do with the girl, then you could decide to adopt her as yours as long as you've discussed this with her mother. That shouldn't be an issue. You would also have your own kids that wont go anywhere later on. If you cant love that girl like your own daughter forget it, her mother wont give her up because of you. Remember Joseph did fine with Mary and Jesus.

Hmm!

I love the daughter already. She was the one that even made me get to know her mom. I feel like giving that little girl the best life has to offer.

Its just the baby daddy issue and my family's initial resistance dats my problem.

Like you said, I will try and find out some tins abt the baby daddy.

Thanks a lot for your opinion.

Rilly appreciate.

obongitiad:


Hmm!

I love the daughter already. She was the one that even made me get to know her mom. I feel like giving that little girl the best life has to offer.

Its just the baby daddy issue and my family's initial resistance dats my problem.

Like you said, I will try and find out some tins abt the baby daddy.

Thanks a lot for your opinion.

Rilly appreciate.

If I were you, I would concentrate on the lady's character first before I make any further move. The daughter might be charming now cos she's still a kid. The lady is what should matter most to you.

You welcome and best of luck.

obongitiad:


Bro, at my level, I can only date someone I intend to marry soon. I dont have time to waste with a lady I cant see a future with. Hope dat ansas ur question

kind of

Not at all

Op, are you in jos?