Bored at home because of "strike" and I feel like posting. Lego!

I constantly hear people say "the past is the past" concerning relationships. For me it's an almighty NO. I think a person's past basically says a lot about the person because it's the only concrete evidence and measure of what he/she is capable of doing in the future. Are you gonna tell me someone who as been a certain way and done certain things will make a complete 100% change and would never be capable of doing those things? C'mon, let's be realistic and stop making fairy-tale choices. Haven't you wondered why them old folks are very very sensitive about the background of bae? Because they've lived long enough to know "the past is the past" is BS. Yes, very few people completely change but they are the exceptions rather than the rule. I don't care about that one person you know.

You meet a previous flawed person who has "changed" his or her ways and you fall for the person. You found out about the horrible things they did (NOT done to them) but you're now telling yourself "love is blind", "He/she is the only person in the world for me" "ITS IN THE PAST!". Why do you have to put your own future at risk because of the relatively little time you knew the person? Except you were horrible in the past too and you want to be horrible together, why play Russian roulette with future? If you find out these secrets before marriage, I see it as a blessing from God to alter your destiny. Some people will still come here on Nairaland and be crying for futile advices, "should I still marry him/her?". *Smh*

Example: Your fiancee was formerly known as Ice cream man because he moved around the streets of Lagos sleeping with every woman that wanted to taste his Fan Choco. Who told you he won't be tempted and go back to having his Fan Choco sucked and squeezed to the last drop? Who told you he hasn't impregnated some women that will bring long-term burden to both you're lives? Same goes for the Ice-cream women, drug addicts, fraudsters (e.g. 419s, yahoo-yahoo boys), sexual abusers, woman-beaters, professional gold-diggers, alcoholics, serial aborters, witches etc. Is the probable burden gonna be worth it?

I don't know about y'all but I've been through A LOT in the past, yet I decided to live a good life with no regrets and avoidable retributions. So why should I settle for my opposite? If I'm fortunate to find very nasty things about bae, I'll forgive her, wish her well...AND RUN FOR MY LIFE!


Remember, its my personal opinion. Happy Strike Holiday.

So because someone has a horrible past means his/her present and future would be horrible? And no one should love him/her ?

Op you're very correct!!!

people's past always matter... no matter how u try to lie to yaself about the past being the past and turning a new leaf... some things will never change!

Your standards are yours and you have a right to them you shouldn't feel bad because you can't accept someone with a heavy baggage from their past and yes a person's past does tell a lot about them very few people can accept a person with a heavy baggage without judging them but it does not mean because a person made mistakes in the past they don't deserve second chances the problem is knowing who you can risk overlooking their past and accepting them baggage and all.

lol OP, YOU'RE looking for women's trouble with this topic

my own past makes me stronger nd smarter

I think u ar right. Some peoples past was so bad dat they themselves dont lik talking abt it. Why do u tnk sm hid their past frm their partners cus it was horrible.How many people can withstand their partners not to write home abt past? If eventually problems arise in marriage due to his or her partners horrible past, wot do u tnk wil happen to such homes. Make d best use of your life, cus d future is in d corner whc can hunt u down.

Vinshu:
So because someone has a horrible past means his/her present and future would be horrible? And no one should love him/her ?

Weren't they thinking of their future when they did the sheet they did? And I'm not just talking about change, I'm talking about the retribution of their past an innocent person doesn't have to partake in.

Marry a serial killer if you wish, just sharing advice.

Kentura:
Op you're very correct!!!

people's past always matter... no matter how u try to lie to yaself about the past being the past and turning a new leaf... some things will never change!

Exactly, bro. That's my post put in a sentence, "some things never change".

tommychow:


Weren't they thinking of their future when they did the sheet they did? And I'm not just talking about change, I'm talking about the retribution of their past an innocent person doesn't have to partake in.

Marry a serial killer if you wish, just sharing advice.

I'm already married! Sorry.

Besides you shouldn't judge a person based on their past. People change. A serial killer would be in prison or probably dead if you know he or she was a serial killer. So that's no point.

I don't even see the whole point of your article. If everyone has your mindset this world would be filled with hatred and lots of single people if everyone looks at the back.

andromida:
Your standards are yours and you have a right to them you shouldn't feel bad because you can't accept someone with a heavy baggage from their past and yes a person's past does tell a lot about them very few people can accept a person with a heavy baggage without judging them but it does not mean because a person made mistakes in the past they don't deserve second chances the problem is knowing who you can risk overlooking their past and accepting them baggage and all.

I completely get where you're coming from...but you only live once. It's really up to a person not me but I have seen it time and time again, especially you women, wishing they had known. Look at Teebillz for instance. If you were Tiwa, after divorcing Teebillz, would you marry another drug abuser again and be like "he can change"? You would choose someone with a good record who is worth risking it for this time. So, I'm basically saying, why not choose someone with a good record from the start? That's what this thread is about.

Let's be wise because marriage itself is a huge risk.

Thiwalade:
lol OP, YOU'RE looking for women's trouble with this topic

I'm waiting for them.

halfricanadian:
my own past makes me stronger nd smarter

Good, hope you stay that way.

Vinshu:


I'm already married! Sorry.

Besides you shouldn't judge a person based on their past. People change. A serial killer would be in prison or probably dead if you know he or she was a serial killer. So that's no point.

I don't even see the whole point of your article. If everyone has your mindset this world would be filled with hatred and lots of single people if everyone looks at the back.

Lol you need to chill. I'm not talking about forgiveness or judgment. Are you saying if I choose not to share my life with like a past prostitute, it automatically makes me an unforgiving person? I can forgive her but not marry her, I can marry her but not forgive her. Two different things. I have friends and relatives with a dirty past, even dirty present. I still love them. But marriage is a different ballgame. It's the person I wanna spend my life with and will be THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN.

Stop playing devils advocate. You know what I'm saying.

misspicy:

The OP was not biased in his post .


He made a balanced reference of both men and women.


Or are you suggesting that only women has horrible pasts?

oftentimes than not, its women that wants their past buried forever, I'm not saying Men don't have dark past tho... don't get me wrong, I'm not a misogynist.

I didn't read everything but I agree with you for the now until I read the post again....♣♣♣