My wife and I went to one of my cousin’s house to say hello to his wife. She was on maternity leave at the time. When we got there, we were greeted by noisy children playing all over the place. Obviously, seeing us was a relief to her, she couldn’t hide it. She told us the kids belong to her neighbour. She expressed how fed up she was to host them around her especially during a time when she should be resting. One statement that caught my attention was, “people are funny. Why would they leave their children with a neighbour? They don’t know if I have a criminal record or I’m a child abuser”. This statement summed up her frustration.

Presently, I have a neighbour who leaves her children at home. They are out of school because she couldn’t pay their fees and she doesn’t want to relegate them to government schools where education is almost free. These children are the types that need close supervision and she knows it. This is perhaps the reason she doesn’t send them on errands that are more than 500 metres away from the house. However, when she is away, some other neighbours whom she had entrusted them with, would send the eldest child across the express road into the market to buy foodstuff. They sometimes send them to buy alcoholic herbal drinks. This particular child that goes on this errand can’t cross the road without help.

I read Stella Dimo korkus’s blog some weeks ago. She created a platform where people can write their darkest secrets/confessions anonymously. I came across one that was really shocking. A woman narrated how she sexually abuses her neighbour’s 5-year old son. She makes the boy suck her breasts and perform MouthAction. The poor boy got so used to it to a point where anytime he sees her coming, he would follow her into the room to resume his duties.

Just two days ago, I saw a screenshot where a woman said she does send her sister’s baby’s (niece) private part to guys who ask for her own private part online. She surmised that after all VJ is VJ. Utter child abuse!

A close friend of mine who lived with his uncle while growing up narrated his ordeal. He said whenever his parents were out of town, they would take him to his uncle to stay. As soon as his parents departed, they would make him hawk and earn his feeding. He never told his parents directly but he rejected going there for holidays or short stay. His parents ignored all the body language he used and the abuse continued till he was about 15.

Last real life example is that of a busted housemaid who performs sex with the house guard in the presence of a 4-year old boy. The parents of the child just like most parents, had entrusted their son to her care while she was being paid for the services. But the maid who has other interests could not protect the child from her sexcapades. Need I talk about the kid who got beaten to death by a maid in Abuja? There are copious examples.
From the above, it is clear that you cannot trust a neighbour, a family member or a domestic staff. What can be done?

Some little practical steps should be of help.
Firstly, NEVER discredit your child’s account of events. This is first mistake parents make. They feel their child is too naïve of the events around. Some parents who believe their children cannot stand up to their neighbour because they no options of where to put their kids.

Secondly, monitor changes in behaviour. Has your lively daughter all of a sudden become withdrawn? Is your child getting sick more often since you entrusted them to someone? Good parents have this innate ability to know if things are going haywire. Trust your instincts.

Thirdly, do a background check on a prospective employee or a neighbour.

Lastly, be reachable. Some parents are so far from home due to work or some other commitments. As a parent, you’re the first line of defence of your child.



Source: http://nifemiolu..com/2016/05/100-to-0-trust-why-you-cannot-trust.html

Hmm