I was in a relationship with a man who always look down on me, he loved the idea of me much more than my actual self, although he never caused me direct pain, he was constantly disappointed in me and therefore distant, leaving me in a state of depression. That night before I decided to take my world back, my brother had walked in on me screaming and crying on the phone.

'AGAIN'

I guess hearing me cry on the phone weighs on him,so he had to say something.
AND AM GLAD HE DID

because the truth was despite it all, I loved him and that love was not enough. We need to let go of this notion that it's romantic to work through a relationship that doesn't feel good or that we should stick with someone who doesn't serve our higher selves.
But how do you know for sure that's what you need? How can you tell if your relationship isnt serving you right or hurting you beyond the normal or if you are better off alone?

I can't answer that for you, but mostly it's a gut feeling that something isn't quite right and hasn't been for a while, but I can at least offer you some guidance on how to decide whether your partner is who you want to be with it.

Today I will be talking about unhealthy relationship-relationship that may not necessarily entail physical abuse but that are painful and confusing.Toxic relationships which instead of nourishing your growth as a person, they slowly wither you away like a poison in your system. Unhappiness has no colouration it is unhapiness; you deserve better.

Relationship can be one of the best and most challenging parts of your world, they can be full of pain, romance, excitement and occasional heartache too. Whether you are single or in a relationship, it is good to be choosy about who you get close to. Don't be blind to see that your relationship isn't as healthy as it should be. Take a step back and think about whether your relationship has some basic qualities. I will be highlighting some basic points.

Mutual Trust And Respect: Respect in a relationship means that each person value who the other person is and understand and would never challenge the person's boundaries. Trust is when you are talking to a guy and your boyfriend walks by does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? its ok to get jealous as sometimes jealousy is a natural emotion but how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters.Theres no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other.

SUPPORTIVE: supporting each other should be a quality you should look out for It's not just in bad times your partner should support you, he should support you at your great and down moments..

EQUALITY: In a healthy relationship everyone needs to make a compromise but that doesn't mean you should feel like you are losing out on being yourself.You don't have to pretend to like something you detest or give up seeing your friends or drop out of activities you love. All these are very essential for a healthy relationship, but when a relationship involves mean,disrespectful,controlling or abusive behaviour then such relationship is unhealthy.

Some people live in homes with parents who fight a lot or abuse each other emotionally,verbally or physically for some men who have grown around this kind of behaviour, it can almost seem normal to them that's why you see a guy treating a lady with disrespect because many of us learn from watching and imitating the people close to us. So someone who has lived around violent or disrespectful behaviour, may have learnt not to treat others with kindness and respect.
Qualities like kindness and respect are absolute requirement in a relationship it is not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behavior of any kind, when a man or woman uses verbal insults, mean language, gets physical by hitting or slapping you or forces someone into sexual activity, it is a sign of verbal, emotional or physical abuse
People in this relationship, mistake the abuse for intense feelings care or concern.There are questions you should ask yourself Does your boyfriend ever raise a hand when angry like he/ she is about to hit you
Does he get angry when you don't drop everything for him or she.
Does he criticize the way you look or dress or always saying you would never find someone else who will date you.
Does he try to control you,
Does he make you feel bad about yourself,
Does he demand to know where you are at all times
Does he constantly gets jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends.
Does he threaten to harm you or self harm if you leave the relatinship.
Does he say stuff like if you love me you 'would'it is a sign that your partner is trying to manipulate or isolate you from the rest of the world.
Does he harm you physically or sexually,then it's time to get out fast.
It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence, possessiveness or anger as expression of love even if the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy, no one deserves to be hit, shoved or forced into anything he or she doesn't want to do.

So my candid advice to all the single ladies out there 'Look before you Leap'.Take your time.Dont be carried away with the wealth and display of affection. Not all that glitters is gold. Be extremely prayerful, love is blind but marriage is an eye opener; go into relationships with your eyes wide shut. And to the ones in an abusive marriage, put it all to God but if it becomes constant, then it's better you move out cos if you drop dead he will live his life after your demise.
You can visit and like my page womanhood with TFA on Facebook

AAye captain!!!

Naso true talk be this o

I can't believe this actually came out from a lady. My dear. U re very sweet. And trust me ur best is yet to come. Nne infact one bottle of champgne for you. Trust me u just made someone smiling never before

I left and will never go bck

Very annoying and toxic relationship fa

Thank God

Cos i know my next and final guy who i wud marry wud b from him almighty all sufficient God

Who worship him in truth nd in spirit

Not all dose dat worship God and demons at d same time

Una juju no dey work again jesus ti take over

@ kenkenny thanks.may God continue to lead us right

Abi o.olorun ju won lo