nice story...the Lord is your strength, keep it up

lolaHikmat:
I know I am just trying, but please I need your comments on what I have written. I am writing with a faulty laptop and so I make lot of mistakes but I need your corrections to know where I need to improve.
Thanks in anticipation

@lolahikmat trust me you are good.. have never had time to read stories Pple post like this but urs captivated my mind.. thanks.. you a good writer...

lolaHikmat:
She got home Quietly and met her father waiting for her.
"Good evening Dad"
"Good evening dear"
"Why are you not in bed Yet"
"I have something very important to discuss with you"
"Hope it is not something difficult, that you had to wait up for me"
"It is important"
"Okay, dad"
"Your mother left a trust fund in your name and ask it to be given to you when you are 24 or the assets will be given out. But before you can claim this you must be married."
"What, why didn't you tell me before now"
"She made me promise not to tell you until 3 months to your birthday"
"But why"
"That is best known to her, I watched out hoping that you will bring a young man home"
"But Dad this is too sudden"
"I know, I just honored your mom final wish"
Good night pumpkin and sleep sweet".
Stella couldn't sleep well that night, event of the day kept thinking about the event of the day, from the kiss to the trust fund. She kept thinking of what to do, because right now she is not even in a relationship so getting married is like a miracle. An idea came to her mind.

when is the next story line coming.. when you post it just hola me 08165233431 so I Com back online quickly to read on.. you intrigued me with your suspence

Nice story...keep it up. Pls pay attention to your spellings and punctuation. The sky is your starting point.

This is interesiting...Kudos to u Lola

madam ikimat where u at now..

Interesting write up, keep it up, just that the story line somehow looks predictable, twist the storyline and make it suspense filled...my opinion tho

***Chapter 7***
She got home that day and met the house extremely quite but saw Dare's car packed outside. When was done changing her clothes she decided to check on him in his room. She knocked but got no reply then decided to enter. What she saw shook her to the core, she was not supposed to be jealous but what would you expect when you see a woman sharing the bed of your husband whether pretend or otherwise. She quietly left the room and headed downstairs.
The sound of the door closing woke Dare up. He was shocked by the presence beside him. He turned and found Tiara unclad.
"What are you doing here" he yelled at her
"Baby you brought me here yourself, you said you missed me"
"I said no such thing, now leave my room"
"but baby...."
"For crying out loud, I am a married man"
"You should have remembered that before bringing bringing me here"
" Just leave my room now".

Stella though very hurt went to the kitchen to check on the cook and helped prepare dinner, then sent her to call on her husband and Tiara to come down for their meal.
Dare didn't know what to say to her when he finally faced her, he has crossed the limit today. She has been quite all through the times Tiara flirted with him, he was only trying to make her a little jealous. The day she met them sleeping I'm the sitting room she merely let that pass too. He decided to see what her reaction would be at dinner.
Dinner was a silent affair and Stella didn't behave as if she saw something. She even engaged Tiara in a little discussion.
"May I speak with you after dinner" She asked him
"Sure why not".
After dinner, she went up to his room.
" Hi" she said
"Hello"
"Just wanted to tell you that my trust fund has been signed over to me"
"That's great"
"Thank you very much"
"What you saw this evening is nothing"
"It is nothing, we spelled it out from the beginning" she said and left his room.

Nice piece ma'am, you should by now know where you need to work on as my other NLers have pointed out. From the typos, punctuations, suspense, blend of past and present too, once all these are worked on, you are good to go...... I could be your editor if you don't mind tho, for free.

Keep up the good work

interesting story, pls continue

appreaiate your write up. please make the next chapter long.

Okay now... Before I start reading another "unfinished story" lemme ask you lolaHikmat, will you finish what u started?
OK, that settled, gimme a chair to sit and devour my pop corn while I enjoy this love ish...

Too anxious to read the complete story. I guess I should wait till it's completed.

Lolahikmat kudos to you

I know this story is gonna be dope. Kudos to you. Keep it up

@lolaHikmat You are a brilliant and well articulated writer. I was engrossed with your story the moment I read your first post. I can't wait to for the rest. I sincerely hope you finish it.

lolaHikmat:
I am so sorry it is short my laptop keep acting up

well done Lola!
Despite that am also a Story-Teller, i felt glued to your story

Yes u re tryin but ur mouth is faster dan ur hands dats y u re omitin sum words nd ur update is short. best of luck dear hope u'll improve wt tym...***

The following day she stopped at the hospital and tests were carried out on her. The doctor told her the result is going to be out in 3hours time. When she got to the Shop Lola kept asking her what is wrong with marriage. She merely told her to forget it. 3hours later she went to the hospital and she was told she had an infection and drugs were given to her. Part of her was disappointed, because she hoped to be pregnant instead. She decided to put her energy in her work and was thinking of diverting a little into event planning and decoration. She shared her opinion with Lola and Lola thought it was a cool idea. They started working on it.
Stella was happy she had something else to work on and focus her mind on instead of Dare. She couldn't help but think of when he is going to complete his project so that Tiara can be out of her face. She always tried to avoid them at home.
She was in her room undressing when she had a knock
"Come in" she called out
Dare entered "How are you doing"
"I am fine"
"I have been meaning to ask you since but I barely see you, have you been to the hospital"
"Yes, the doctor said it was just an infection"
She felt she saw am expression passed over his face momentarily but she wasn't sure since it was very fast.
"Okay, do you have any plan for tomorrow's evening"
"No"
"Good I was invited to an event and I want you to come with me"
"Okay " she said
He left her room. Dare was disappointed because he hoped she was pregnant at least that will get her to stay in the marriage. He shook the thought from his mind he was not going to trap her in a marriage she didn't want to be in.

Thumbs up dear...#more inspiration i pray

And again lolaHikmat, don't allow ur inner inspiration to wither.... Make sure u complete this story for another time' sake. Kudos to ya
Modified
That's great, but can u pls make it more lengthy?

I taught she ws pregnant too which kinda stupid infection b dat.








Nyc update dear am always following u #thumb_up

I'm already falling in love with Stella and I really hate the way Dare treats her. Please lolaHikmat tell her she has a shoulder to cry on.

Nice piece!

Jok3r:




when is the next story line coming.. when you post it just hola me 08165233431 so I Com back online quickly to read on.. you intrigued me with your suspence

lol...bro shey u sure say na still unto her story matter or u go lyk digress*dat kin tin na**winks**

Lovely writeup...tumbs up D rest of it

lolaHikmat:
She got home Quietly and met her father waiting for her.
"Good evening Dad"
"Good evening dear"
"Why are you not in bed Yet"
"I have something very important to discuss with you"
"Hope it is not something difficult, that you had to wait up for me"
"It is important"
"Okay, dad"
"Your mother left a trust fund in your name and ask it to be given to you when you are 24 or the assets will be given out. But before you can claim this you must be married."
"What, why didn't you tell me before now"
"She made me promise not to tell you until 3 months to your birthday"
"But why"
"That is best known to her, I watched out hoping that you will bring a young man home"
"But Dad this is too sudden"
"I know, I just honored your mom final wish"
Good night pumpkin and sleep sweet".
Stella couldn't sleep well that night, event of the day kept thinking about the event of the day, from the kiss to the trust fund. She kept thinking of what to do, because right now she is not even in a relationship so getting married is like a miracle. An idea came to her mind.

Well done dear, enjoyin myself

For the fact that u are new at (in) this, u are doing wonderfully good. Nice story line love.....waiting in anticipation for the next update!

Big ups to u bro...love seeing new things like this for a change...keep the suspense going its good for the story...

Nyc 1......u don gimme work.......

what a magnificent piece! Keep it comming dear.

the write up is so crisp,more power to ya creativity.
waiting for d next episode

You so good.
I enjoyed reading your works.
New stuffs keep coming out, keep it coming!!!

hum! infection ke? nawa o